My name is Wesley.
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Hello there, my name is Wesley. I'm a 28 year-old somebody who is taking a step to get involved in something. Fakku has been my go-to place for reliving stress, and pleasure-reading for some years now. Making the transition from a passerby to regular when it comes to interactivity with the site seemed a little strange at first, but there isn't any harm in trying. If you have any questions about my tastes in the manga here feel free to ask. I rather like the Vanilla tag if that gives you an idea.
Apart from an introduction, I bring a story and a plea. I need some conversation. I need to connect with someone that either feels the same way or can sympathize with my feelings. I've grappled with loneliness before, for years really, but today I think I've hit a new low. Let me tell you why I'm feeling so down in the dumps and maybe someone out there wouldn't mind just chatting with me for a little while.
Ever since I was in junior high I treasured girls. 12 years-old and I constantly pestered my mother about how pretty this girl was, or how I'd give anything to hold hands with this girl. I grew a little older and I was a romantic, buying flowers for girls, and attaching poems I'd spent hours writing myself to brighten their day after a hard break-up, or the passing of a family member. I'd help them carry books, stand-up for them if they were being treated unfairly, and sit with them if they were alone in the lunchroom.
This strong sense of chivalry that drove me through every day held steady, but a new feeling developed. I finally began to notice just how beautiful girls are. I'd had my fair share of naked women through pornography I'd gotten from a cool uncle, and adult films I managed to sneak home. But, It was a unique feeling that developed inside of me. Every beautiful girl I'd see I'd chase after endlessly until I was helplessly shut down. I'd come to my senior year of high school, not a single kiss, hug, or date. I think I'd become bitter by then.
Then, I met her. God, she was the most beautiful girl in the world. But, not just because she was physically attractive, but her sheer intelligence that was complimented by her unique and radiant personality burned into my heart. I approached this carefully, making sure I wasn't too pushy, slow but gradual steps hoping that if I stayed at a steady pace she knew I was interested, but not too fast as to scare her away like the countless others. That winter I had finally done it. I'd gotten a date with a girl and was the happiest young man in the world.
We met at a small family-owned bakery, and I'd purchased her a set of ruby stud earrings - her birthstone. We grabbed some warm rolls and sat at a table by the window, and talked as people passed by. After some conversation she took my hands in hers and explained she was already seeing someone else, and that I was a very charming, cute, and loving man who will find a girl someday I deserve, and that the girl is not her. She explained she wanted to be friends still, and hoped we could keep talking as we went to college, and from then on.
Some time passed, and we stood up from the table facing each other. I reached into my back pocket and handed her the box, crudely wrapped just minutes before I had left for our date. She opened the box slightly, and I started to explain how they were ruby studs - I laughed a bit making fun of the corny birthstone gesture, but I had honestly forgotten her birthday when shopping and ended up needing to make several calls to friends to determine just when her birthday was. I was looking away from her and didn't notice she was crying. I didn't notice I was crying myself. We stood there awkwardly crying, and then she embraced me, and I lost all feelings in my knees and fell to the floor. She pushed away from me, and as she did whispered "I love you" and left the store.
That date was twelve years ago, and every week following we've exchanged hand-written letters with pictures of what we've been doing. I've noticed though that in our postcards her backgrounds are always changing, and the people she's with are always different except for Andrew - the man she married. They've sent me cards from all around the world, and some of them blow my mind when I receive them in the mail. I however sit down at my wooden desk, and write out how I've been feeling, how the job is, family, and general at-home things. I set up a dinky tri-pod facing my worn couch in the living room, and throw on a new sweater (I've made it a rule to never wear the same top), smile, and snap a photo. I seal the letter, and walk to the post-office to mail it out to where she currently lives. She's in Sydney now. From what she has told me the view is beautiful there. I joke, and say the view from the bakery is just the same.
Apart from an introduction, I bring a story and a plea. I need some conversation. I need to connect with someone that either feels the same way or can sympathize with my feelings. I've grappled with loneliness before, for years really, but today I think I've hit a new low. Let me tell you why I'm feeling so down in the dumps and maybe someone out there wouldn't mind just chatting with me for a little while.
Ever since I was in junior high I treasured girls. 12 years-old and I constantly pestered my mother about how pretty this girl was, or how I'd give anything to hold hands with this girl. I grew a little older and I was a romantic, buying flowers for girls, and attaching poems I'd spent hours writing myself to brighten their day after a hard break-up, or the passing of a family member. I'd help them carry books, stand-up for them if they were being treated unfairly, and sit with them if they were alone in the lunchroom.
This strong sense of chivalry that drove me through every day held steady, but a new feeling developed. I finally began to notice just how beautiful girls are. I'd had my fair share of naked women through pornography I'd gotten from a cool uncle, and adult films I managed to sneak home. But, It was a unique feeling that developed inside of me. Every beautiful girl I'd see I'd chase after endlessly until I was helplessly shut down. I'd come to my senior year of high school, not a single kiss, hug, or date. I think I'd become bitter by then.
Then, I met her. God, she was the most beautiful girl in the world. But, not just because she was physically attractive, but her sheer intelligence that was complimented by her unique and radiant personality burned into my heart. I approached this carefully, making sure I wasn't too pushy, slow but gradual steps hoping that if I stayed at a steady pace she knew I was interested, but not too fast as to scare her away like the countless others. That winter I had finally done it. I'd gotten a date with a girl and was the happiest young man in the world.
We met at a small family-owned bakery, and I'd purchased her a set of ruby stud earrings - her birthstone. We grabbed some warm rolls and sat at a table by the window, and talked as people passed by. After some conversation she took my hands in hers and explained she was already seeing someone else, and that I was a very charming, cute, and loving man who will find a girl someday I deserve, and that the girl is not her. She explained she wanted to be friends still, and hoped we could keep talking as we went to college, and from then on.
Some time passed, and we stood up from the table facing each other. I reached into my back pocket and handed her the box, crudely wrapped just minutes before I had left for our date. She opened the box slightly, and I started to explain how they were ruby studs - I laughed a bit making fun of the corny birthstone gesture, but I had honestly forgotten her birthday when shopping and ended up needing to make several calls to friends to determine just when her birthday was. I was looking away from her and didn't notice she was crying. I didn't notice I was crying myself. We stood there awkwardly crying, and then she embraced me, and I lost all feelings in my knees and fell to the floor. She pushed away from me, and as she did whispered "I love you" and left the store.
That date was twelve years ago, and every week following we've exchanged hand-written letters with pictures of what we've been doing. I've noticed though that in our postcards her backgrounds are always changing, and the people she's with are always different except for Andrew - the man she married. They've sent me cards from all around the world, and some of them blow my mind when I receive them in the mail. I however sit down at my wooden desk, and write out how I've been feeling, how the job is, family, and general at-home things. I set up a dinky tri-pod facing my worn couch in the living room, and throw on a new sweater (I've made it a rule to never wear the same top), smile, and snap a photo. I seal the letter, and walk to the post-office to mail it out to where she currently lives. She's in Sydney now. From what she has told me the view is beautiful there. I joke, and say the view from the bakery is just the same.
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Well that is quite a story. It has a bit of a 5 Centimeters Per Second feel. Hopefully you end up better than the manga.
Anyways, welcome to FAKKU! The community is nice provided that you think before you post. Just a side note, when having a large amount of text like that, it is better to spoil it. PM if you want to talk about things. I would not say "plea" either but that is just my opinion.
Anyways, welcome to FAKKU! The community is nice provided that you think before you post. Just a side note, when having a large amount of text like that, it is better to spoil it. PM if you want to talk about things. I would not say "plea" either but that is just my opinion.
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Foreground Eclipse wrote...
Well that is quite a story. It has a bit of a 5 Centimeters Per Second feel. Hopefully you end up better than the manga. Anyways, welcome to FAKKU! The community is nice provided that you think before you post. Just a side note, when having a large amount of text like that, it is better to spoil it. PM if you want to talk about things. I would not say "plea" either but that is just my opinion.
I appreciate the response. Some of the vocabulary might be a little dramatic and unnecessary now that I think about it. Just had some music playing in the background that really amped up the mood so I just went on with whatever I was thinking. I appreciate the ear as well.
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Well that story was beautiful and dramatic. You are one sappy son of a gun. However I can't help you with your dislike of loneliness because I personally recommend everybody go through extended periods of loneliness because self discovery is a wonderful thing and a key element to help you move forward in life. Honestly though that story was great......oh yeah.....WELCOME!
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monpekokero wrote...
Well that story was beautiful and dramatic. You are one sappy son of a gun. However I can't help you with your dislike of loneliness because I personally recommend everybody go through extended periods of loneliness because self discovery is a wonderful thing and a key element to help you move forward in life. Honestly though that story was great......oh yeah.....WELCOME!Self discovery? I'm rather aware of myself - inside and out. Mind, body, ect... I am my own person and I love myself. I've grown tired of being alone though, just feels like a void more so a learning experience.
Thank you for the warm welcome.
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Wow, it actually has a 5 Centimeters Per Second feel to it. If you want more opinions on your story, re-post it in LRR.
If you feel even more depressed , watch Welcome to the NHK. Or the opposite, happy, read Yotsuba.
Anyways welcome to the forum of Fakku. Enjoy your stay.
And for you "little problem", I see two solution.
1.) She breaks up with her husband and lives with you instead.
2.) You move on, try searching for someone new. If you're lucky you find someone better.
If I were you I wouldn't have high hopes for (1.). But it's your life and your choices.
If you feel even more depressed , watch Welcome to the NHK. Or the opposite, happy, read Yotsuba.
Anyways welcome to the forum of Fakku. Enjoy your stay.
And for you "little problem", I see two solution.
1.) She breaks up with her husband and lives with you instead.
2.) You move on, try searching for someone new. If you're lucky you find someone better.
If I were you I wouldn't have high hopes for (1.). But it's your life and your choices.
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Welcome to Fakku-the largest English speaking hentai site in the world.
Give me a tl,dr version and i might be back to read your OP later
Give me a tl,dr version and i might be back to read your OP later
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goobyplz wrote...
Welcome to Fakku-the largest English speaking hentai site in the world.Give me a tl,dr version and i might be back to read your OP later
Tl;dr He have been friend zoned several times. He found the perfect girl for him but she's married with another fellow. She is also in love with him. They send each other letters every-so-often. He's very depressed atm.
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Ryssen wrote...
Wow, it actually has a 5 Centimeters Per Second feel to it. If you want more opinions on your story, re-post it in LRR.If you feel even more depressed , watch Welcome to the NHK. Or the opposite, happy, read Yotsuba.
Anyways welcome to the forum of Fakku. Enjoy your stay.
And for you "little problem", I see two solution.
1.) She breaks up with her husband and lives with you instead.
2.) You move on, try searching for someone new. If you're lucky you find someone better.
If I were you I wouldn't have high hopes for (1.). But it's your life and your choices.
Thank you for the advice, and the warm welcome. I will visit this link, and maybe post my story there if they care to read it.
I think I'm in a stage to move on, but it kind of haunts me that as soon as I decide to do so, she will come to me. Though I think that's just a fantasy a prefer over the latter.
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Thank you everyone for the warm welcome. It means a lot. Hopefully in the future I won't post such lengthy walls of text, but this story was very significant to me, so I just kind of lost myself as I typed it out. I do hope some of you care to read, and can either lend advice, or just a welcoming hello.
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I hope you know what obvious responses to expect from your story. Though for 12 years you've probably heard them over and over again.
Unlike LRR I think the key word here is 12 years. Twelve years and you're still going on. The only conclusion my 23-year old brain can produce is that you're ok with this. Lately I'm starting to agree with the point of view that people deserve the treatment they are willing to endure.
Anyway, Kintaro is awesome. Cheers
Unlike LRR I think the key word here is 12 years. Twelve years and you're still going on. The only conclusion my 23-year old brain can produce is that you're ok with this. Lately I'm starting to agree with the point of view that people deserve the treatment they are willing to endure.
Anyway, Kintaro is awesome. Cheers