Helping out a person with advice about love

Hey, im a highschool senior and i need advice on finding a girl who would like me. The thing im worried about is my looks as im self concious bout my looks. People say i have an eccentric personality but good prsonality neverless. It seems desperate asking advice on forums but its just that my friends have expericences with love before(but never sex) and i guess i feel kinda loney.

just be confident and stay strong

Wise words, HentaiElder. +Rep.

I have many friends who wasted a lot of their means and time on females, and left hurt in the end due to a broken relationship. It's best to stay single if you can.

Thanks, I'm glad that you have friends who could relate. Not glad that they had to deal with the pain, but that you actually have experience with it/know people who dealt with it. Makes it easier to understand me I suppose.

Anywho, I'll +rep you tomorrow(when I have the ability to do so), not only to return the favor, but because I'm glad you agree and I appreciate the compliment.

thx for the advice guys and i agree that i should also concentrate more on my education and since im in the critical years of schooling, its really important. All my friends should suggest that i concentrate more on school as in the future it helps me with dating/life e.t.c.
Im not trying to find a girl who looks drop dead gorgeous(although that might be a bonus), but someone who can relate to my tastes and someone who can cheer me up after school, more of a girl "friend" then a girl firend.
Often when someone breaks up and just wants to stay as "friends" it hurts the person more as things and relationship would never become the same. I would like to avoid that.

Good luck with all that you do.
Thanks for reading what I offered and giving it thought. Again good luck.

@ImperialX: +rep delivered.

Indeed, if you screw up at this point of your education, it will affect you for the rest of your life. And due to the pressures of education, you won't really have the ample time to develop a good relationship. I think it's for the best if you put finding a girlfriend on hold until you have the time and means to spare.

Thanks for the rep, HentaiElder.

A stronge vibe of embitterment of some past love. Usually the first

But no i don't recommend intellect, it is really irksome when you are talking to some fine thing and you feel that your brain cells are committing suicide as you are having your little chat. It is surprisingly rare to find a pretty intelligent woman without having her be a viper (don't get me wrong, vipers have their charm but losing to them doesn't).

heres a few things to try
1. eye contact>smile. If you get a reply of the same body language that is an ok to come over to talk. Don't overdo it, if she doesn't look then she's not interested...move on even if you do "love" her. If you can't go seek a little councilling
2.If you two do strike a spark, make sure you have as much contact as possible (to talk). Talk on the phone, IM, meet up on dates, hangout with friends (theres all sorts of guides for those)-do not recommending having friends hook up with her girlfriends. try to hang with her girlfriends alot WITH her but as little on the reverse as you can (don't force it though)
3.never be insulting unless she does so to something first, as witting as you might think you are, you don't know if she has the taste for your humour (guys and girls think very differently)
4.find as much stuff in common as possible, i don't mean pretend to like stuff she does (if you're that desparate to get laid do so but..), i mean point out as many common interests as possible and involve each other in them.
5.it's a dirty trick but, use the "hanging bridge effect". It is a trick that fools a person from having the symptoms of fear misinterpretted as feelings of love (both have the similar physical symptoms). This is "playing hero" works so well, just don't fk up.

for anything else refer to this:

Haven't posted on this topic for a while since nothing really has poppin up.

Anyway, my fiend wants me to hook up with a friend of his or at least go on a date and see how it goes. I haven't said anything yet since im still deciding. I feel that i should take control of my own decisions and find a girl myself instead of other people helping me. My friend says that i really should be taking a girlfriend soon, he appears to be taking this like a sort of joke but i know that he really means the best for me.

so should i accept the test-date?

While I sympathize with you, I do think that kind of experience is necessary in growing up. More then likely your first partner won't be your soul mate, however - I know a lot of things now that I didn't know before my first partner that I was able to bring to my next relationship. Both positive and bad. (I have a bad habit or two from my last relationship). But over the course of time I've learned what I want more and able to search that out more clearly.



When I was 16-17 I didn't care if a guy had a job. But when I turned 18-19 and I was in college, I want a guy who has a job. Because I'm an adult now, and I'm required to have a job as well. If I date somebody I don't want their money, I just don't want to be their mom's either and have to pay everything for them. I want a guy to be able to at least support himself.

Though I'm a bit of a hypocrite at this point because I just moved and I don't have a job yet.

~*~

Anyway, my advice from me is to don't search too hard. Whenever I see somebody go on a crusade (both male and female) I know it won't turn out well. A good relationship usually doesn't come from seeking, it usually comes to you. Not saying a girl will come up to you and go 'hey, I wanna go out with you' but one day you'll see somebody and really be interested.

After my break up of a 2 year relationship I spent a year just focusing on me. I did changes that I felt needed to be done, and I decided I wouldn't get into a relationship until I was comfortable with just myself. You really don't need somebody to make you happy, nor is that healthy. I think you should do some me time if you're not at that point. A relationship should compliment your life, not change it. Nor should you depend on it for happiness.

If you're insecure about your looks (like many are) then just go with your other strong points. Be confident about your personality, that's what girls want - some form of confidence. I prefer my guys to be confident in their personality, I don't need someone to get everything they want by their appearance. If that's all they have to go on, then well... tough luck for them.

I think the only other thing that really turns me off from a guy is bad hygiene. Wash your hair and wear some Axe or something D; Wear clean clothes. Brush your teeth!

But yea. There's my tl;dr

*edit*
About the test date thing - those things rarely ever work out as well, however if you're not experienced with dates then maybe it's a good idea just to try it out.

If you're going out then I would suggest paying for her side, it shows initiative on your side. Also if you don't know what to talk about - ask about her.

Not saying that I would want to talk about myself all night and hope for a guy to ask me about myself, but whenever I'm awkward and don't know what to talk about - I make the other side more comfortable by having them talk about themselves.

Just ask all sorts of things about herself. Her goals, her interests, etc.

I second that. It's the best way to do (and be yourself omg, no acting).

Depends on your personality and what you seek, I guess.
If you just want to shut your friend up, you could just pro forma go on the date, decide it's not for you, and be done with it.
If all you want is to desperately get together with a girl at any cost, you might also want to go and see how it plays out. Don't get your hopes up too high though, anyone other than you is a terrible judge of what you might like.

Personally, I wouldn't. I've always hated people meddling in my affairs, and above all such intimate and private affairs as my love life. I'd terminate the friendship with any person who dared meddle in this for good, effective immediately.
Moreover, I wouldn't jump at any chance of a relationship just for the sake of it. I was absolutely comfortable being single until I found a girl I really liked, and I strongly advise you to take the same stance. Just like Ziggy said.

holy shit, accept the test date... you don't know what might happen and you need some experience, like zig said. Yes Man really had a good life lesson, you should really try new things as much as possible, you never know when something great might come of something you weren't sure you wanted to do in the first place.

I second Waar. If you never tried you wouldn't know and I believe opportunities are around us, we just have to grab them. No harm trying right?