I want to be an important person in the military. However, I'd rather be part of a military with SEXY ASS uniforms, do you feel me? I mean like. Geez, the US has butt ugly uniforms and like...YEAH that's a HUGE part of the deal for me.
So I'd get liike...a gay man to design our uniforms and junk. When people see me, I want that reaction like.
"You're THE Colonel Ladoc?! Ladoc the Fornicator?!"
And I'll be all like
"Yes, it seems so" (My speech will be all PROPER and SHIT.)
Anyway, I'll die at 37 because being older than that just creeps me out.