Polter wrote...
I'm one of those who wear masks. I never show what I feel unless I can't really handle it anymore (which seldom happens).
Don't just trash your emotions. Keep them. The more you suffer, the joy you will enjoy later will be greater. When the day of the end of your suffering comes you will notice a certain emptiness. You long for the pain, and the feeling of being hurt, and this will be replaced by joy and happiness only if you understand and have experienced pain.
But don't try to inflict physical pain. This will do you no good.
Really in bad shape?
Try this exercise: Sit on a quiet place. Then try to just listen to what you hear, your breathing, the birds, the wind, etc... Don't try to suppress you thoughts, its only futile to do so. Let it flow and eventually it will get tired. Then continue to be quiet. Don't try to think of anything. You'll feel better.
Damn man, you're too much like me. ><