My first time, very nervous..
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So me and my close friend have decided to have sex, it's something we've both wanted for sometime, but the problem is that this isn't her first time, so i'm worried i'll dissapoint her, but also the main problem is that i'm very nervous about this, and if anything will dissappoint it's because nerves get to me :P
So any advice on how to fight this nervous feeling? How to make myself get into things feeling confident? All help appreciated.
So any advice on how to fight this nervous feeling? How to make myself get into things feeling confident? All help appreciated.
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JayD wrote...
So me and my close friend have decided to have sex, it's something we've both wanted for sometime, but the problem is that this isn't her first time, so i'm worried i'll dissapoint her, but also the main problem is that i'm very nervous about this, and if anything will dissappoint it's because nerves get to me :PSo any advice on how to fight this nervous feeling? How to make myself get into things feeling confident? All help appreciated.
ha...and you call urself the greed...
in anycase, follow your libido instinct. follow your desire to have sex and how much you want to do it...your nerve issues are petty ones...the kind that a girl would have.
just keep going until ur absolutely spent...and i don't mean, you fireman but your whole body simple can't do anymore...and for tips...
look to on the girl ejaculation thread...
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- Be upfront about being inexperienced. The more honest you are, the less can go wrong. The more you try to be someone you're not, the more will go wrong. Lying in bed is extremely hard to pull off, and it will only ruin the experience for you, so why bother? Just be honest right away.
- Don't confuse it with the olympic summer games. You're not there to outperform anyone, the goal is to enjoy some special time together. You're not an animated sex-toy, it's okay not to be perfect.
- Don't get caught up in clichés, thinking you have to do this or that. TALK to her. Listen to her.
- Be happy it's not her first time. If she's experienced, she can take the lead instead of both fumbling around with no clue.
- You don't have to be super-confident. A bit of nervousness is fine, in fact it adds some zest. In the beginning, when you're not yet familiar with each other's bodies, the excitement can make up for the lack of proficiency.
- By all means use protection.
- Don't confuse it with the olympic summer games. You're not there to outperform anyone, the goal is to enjoy some special time together. You're not an animated sex-toy, it's okay not to be perfect.
- Don't get caught up in clichés, thinking you have to do this or that. TALK to her. Listen to her.
- Be happy it's not her first time. If she's experienced, she can take the lead instead of both fumbling around with no clue.
- You don't have to be super-confident. A bit of nervousness is fine, in fact it adds some zest. In the beginning, when you're not yet familiar with each other's bodies, the excitement can make up for the lack of proficiency.
- By all means use protection.
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Waar
FAKKU Moderator
a lot of the best stuff you can do doesn't even involve penetration, things you do in sensitive areas are key... knowing where to apply pressure and where to apply a light touch is an amazing trick, which you'll learn over time as you "play", if you aren't spectacular the first time, ask for a few more cracks at it, worst thing she can say is no (she probably wont). P.s. ice can be fun for both of you.
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Cum beforehand. Not necessarily five minutes before you have sex, but some time during the day before you do it. It should help you to last longer.
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Waar
FAKKU Moderator
dont be worried about how long you last the first time... tell her its your first and she'll expect bad... don't worry girls arent stupid about this, it's more of an issue we create in our minds/the media.
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Waar wrote...
dont be worried about how long you last the first time... tell her its your first and she'll expect bad... don't worry girls arent stupid about this, it's more of an issue we create in our minds/the media.Yep as Waar said if you tell her it's your first time she won't expect you to be a pro.Don't think about trying to impress her in bed you might end up panicking just focus on doing what you want and explore as you please.Good Luck.
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If it's your first time, then I suggest to not be so nervous. Sure, shaking in your boots and worrying about everything is pretty much unavoidable, but a little confidence can go a very long way.
Since you're close friends, and she's experienced, then she can take the lead, and you don't have to feel inadequate about it. We all learn by example, even in these matters.
If you're worrying about cumming too soon, a good trick is to fap about 15 - 30 minutes prior. It helps lower your urge and nervousness, and trust me, seeing a woman's naked body up close for the first time will have you ready in no time.
Also, be straight with her. It's best if you're both on the same page, not pretending to be someone you're not, or know things you don't.
Good luck.
Since you're close friends, and she's experienced, then she can take the lead, and you don't have to feel inadequate about it. We all learn by example, even in these matters.
If you're worrying about cumming too soon, a good trick is to fap about 15 - 30 minutes prior. It helps lower your urge and nervousness, and trust me, seeing a woman's naked body up close for the first time will have you ready in no time.
Also, be straight with her. It's best if you're both on the same page, not pretending to be someone you're not, or know things you don't.
Good luck.
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present yourself as neat and clean as possible. i know this sounds kinda hinky but i believe that on your first time you should be well trimmed and fresh out of a shower with whatever the hell you like to use to allure the ladies. brushing your teeth to a shine is imperative and axe body wash covers the details. alot of women i know love the chocolaty 'dark sensation' spray.
no, im not an axe product salesman. lol
seriously though, even though it hasnt been field tested i can sense the boost of confidence i would have being in that condition. everyone makes a valid point and i also agree strongly with shaggyj and vguy on preparation. ive always thought it would be more appropriate to have a stronger basis of longevity to involve you in a longer embrace... but wait.
has anyone thought of stepping up to plate fully loaded and asking for a bj, hj or paizuri(boobies!) before the real thing? it seems aggressive but it says in these here illustrated adult books im readin' that the honest boys get rewarded. i wouldnt seriously try for it unless i had prior knowledge that she might be up for it though. from what i understand a fair amount of woman arent too interested in oral sex these days, or for that matter anything outside of fourplay and intercourse... sounds bland to me but at least you stick to the basics.
my friends in the same position as you right now believe it or not, he had a long round of tonsil hockey today and came out of it like a kid who visited THE candy store. the day of his virgin defeat is soon... i wish you both luck!
edit: i didnt mean to imply that my buddy was going to attempt the method waar but your right, its extremely gutsy. i probably wont even be able to consider it when the opportunity comes around.
no, im not an axe product salesman. lol
seriously though, even though it hasnt been field tested i can sense the boost of confidence i would have being in that condition. everyone makes a valid point and i also agree strongly with shaggyj and vguy on preparation. ive always thought it would be more appropriate to have a stronger basis of longevity to involve you in a longer embrace... but wait.
has anyone thought of stepping up to plate fully loaded and asking for a bj, hj or paizuri(boobies!) before the real thing? it seems aggressive but it says in these here illustrated adult books im readin' that the honest boys get rewarded. i wouldnt seriously try for it unless i had prior knowledge that she might be up for it though. from what i understand a fair amount of woman arent too interested in oral sex these days, or for that matter anything outside of fourplay and intercourse... sounds bland to me but at least you stick to the basics.
my friends in the same position as you right now believe it or not, he had a long round of tonsil hockey today and came out of it like a kid who visited THE candy store. the day of his virgin defeat is soon... i wish you both luck!
edit: i didnt mean to imply that my buddy was going to attempt the method waar but your right, its extremely gutsy. i probably wont even be able to consider it when the opportunity comes around.
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Waar
FAKKU Moderator
kirby, show your friend this post if you havnt already.
bleh I had a bunch of stuff written out but it didn't seem right, Ill post after i get some sleep, I just want to say the blowjob/handjob/titfuck may be a bad idea on his first try... he's got enough to focus on with the "losing his vcard", although i recommend you give her oral, There's nothing i find more sexy than a girl going nuts because of what I'm doing, and it's pretty easy to figure out... you can physically read the changes in her body language/facial expressions if you're doing something right/wrong. Good way to find the sensitive areas. Also just a heads up for any fingering action, most girls prefer girth as opposed to length, so when working with your hands slowly add a finger every once in a while until you reach max capacity. As odd as that statement sounds it's completely legitimate.
bleh I had a bunch of stuff written out but it didn't seem right, Ill post after i get some sleep, I just want to say the blowjob/handjob/titfuck may be a bad idea on his first try... he's got enough to focus on with the "losing his vcard", although i recommend you give her oral, There's nothing i find more sexy than a girl going nuts because of what I'm doing, and it's pretty easy to figure out... you can physically read the changes in her body language/facial expressions if you're doing something right/wrong. Good way to find the sensitive areas. Also just a heads up for any fingering action, most girls prefer girth as opposed to length, so when working with your hands slowly add a finger every once in a while until you reach max capacity. As odd as that statement sounds it's completely legitimate.
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Waar wrote...
dont be worried about how long you last the first time... tell her its your first and she'll expect bad... don't worry girls arent stupid about this, it's more of an issue we create in our minds/the media.I second this notion. In fact, never worry about how long you last. This isn't some sort of marathon competition.
Not like sex is over once you come, and not like you don't have other appendages than your penis.
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thank for all the advice everyone :) already i feel a lot more confident and going to make sure i enjoy it rather than being a nervous wreck :P Thanks again
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Azreli wrote...
Alex~kun wrote...
That was educational (learned a thing or two...), and amusing. As for erogenous zones, though it may differ in place and number a bit, I think everyone has up to... I think it's 15+. A few I can think of off the top of my head is (not stating the obvious ones...); toes, underarm (I don't think the armpit actually), thighs, neck, ears for some, and a few others I can't remember.here are the answers
heres a little help for you aid in the quest for the g-spot, that or just more interesting sex and if not that, then use it for making great hentai you'll be proud to fap to
Spoiler:
i assume ur too damn lazy to look....
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Well... that diagram might help you... but its turning the whole affair of sex into a scientific procedure that can be broken down by conducting certain activities at certain times through the experience instead of something that is ruled by passion.
I'd say, first. Take a deep breath friend... Relax... The fact that you two both have consented to sex means that shes (obviously) willing to have sex with you. A little ego boost there, you must've done something right :). Someone stated earlier that mentioning your inexperienced will help even the ground. I agree completely. By saying this is your first time, you'll level the playing field, she'll know not to place such high high expectations on the experience, and also it takes a load of you, allowing you to explore the situation without feeling nervous or doubting yourself, making you feel at ease (somewhat).
Next... go with the flow. Without passion sex is just something animals do. Maybe ask her what her turn ons and offs are? See what she likes, and whilst having sex try and incoporate those areas! If that approach is to forward for you, then during sex I believe a very important factor is to multitask.
Don't just remain on one area for 75% of the time and then switch to another area towards the end. Makes for a boring experience that does. Multi task whilst having sex, fondle, stroke, kiss, and tease her whilst having sex. It greatly elevates the experience from meager, to amazing.
Before hand though, if you really wanna get her motor revved up and ready for you. Foreplay my friend. Foreplay makes a world of difference. That's where teasing her also dramatically elevates the erotic side of things for her. At the end of all this though, just breathe. Relax, whilst thats easier said than done. Don't stress to much, all the nerves your feeling now are natural, however they are small in comparison. I'm sure you'll do great haha. all the best.
I'd say, first. Take a deep breath friend... Relax... The fact that you two both have consented to sex means that shes (obviously) willing to have sex with you. A little ego boost there, you must've done something right :). Someone stated earlier that mentioning your inexperienced will help even the ground. I agree completely. By saying this is your first time, you'll level the playing field, she'll know not to place such high high expectations on the experience, and also it takes a load of you, allowing you to explore the situation without feeling nervous or doubting yourself, making you feel at ease (somewhat).
Next... go with the flow. Without passion sex is just something animals do. Maybe ask her what her turn ons and offs are? See what she likes, and whilst having sex try and incoporate those areas! If that approach is to forward for you, then during sex I believe a very important factor is to multitask.
Don't just remain on one area for 75% of the time and then switch to another area towards the end. Makes for a boring experience that does. Multi task whilst having sex, fondle, stroke, kiss, and tease her whilst having sex. It greatly elevates the experience from meager, to amazing.
Before hand though, if you really wanna get her motor revved up and ready for you. Foreplay my friend. Foreplay makes a world of difference. That's where teasing her also dramatically elevates the erotic side of things for her. At the end of all this though, just breathe. Relax, whilst thats easier said than done. Don't stress to much, all the nerves your feeling now are natural, however they are small in comparison. I'm sure you'll do great haha. all the best.
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Advent wrote...
Well... that diagram might help you... but its turning the whole affair of sex into a scientific procedure that can be broken down by conducting certain activities at certain times through the experience instead of something that is ruled by passion.I'd say, first. Take a deep breath friend... Relax... The fact that you two both have consented to sex means that shes (obviously) willing to have sex with you. A little ego boost there, you must've done something right :). Someone stated earlier that mentioning your inexperienced will help even the ground. I agree completely. By saying this is your first time, you'll level the playing field, she'll know not to place such high high expectations on the experience, and also it takes a load of you, allowing you to explore the situation without feeling nervous or doubting yourself, making you feel at ease (somewhat).
Next... go with the flow. Without passion sex is just something animals do. Maybe ask her what her turn ons and offs are? See what she likes, and whilst having sex try and incoporate those areas! If that approach is to forward for you, then during sex I believe a very important factor is to multitask.
Don't just remain on one area for 75% of the time and then switch to another area towards the end. Makes for a boring experience that does. Multi task whilst having sex, fondle, stroke, kiss, and tease her whilst having sex. It greatly elevates the experience from meager, to amazing.
Before hand though, if you really wanna get her motor revved up and ready for you. Foreplay my friend. Foreplay makes a world of difference. That's where teasing her also dramatically elevates the erotic side of things for her. At the end of all this though, just breathe. Relax, whilst thats easier said than done. Don't stress to much, all the nerves your feeling now are natural, however they are small in comparison. I'm sure you'll do great haha. all the best.
TT still haven't got those points back...
the diagram is wat you make it.
passion for a virgin=premature ejaculation.
instead of a burning fire, let it be a smouldering ember that urself have control at will.
work at a slow pace instead of a bunny rabbit in heat.
good sex is from the fruits of good self control as well placed passion.
if u're so hot and bothered instead of your body use your mouth to express/say it while you get to work.