One sided attempts.
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Let start off way at the beginning since this is complicated...
Long ago, back in elementary, i was friends with a couple of girls. One in particular, we really got along well and had alot of fun.
Now, when we both went to high school we kind of severed all contacts, i didn't see her nor any of my other friends for mayby 2-3 years.
Then i decided i had waited long enough and wanted to look her up again, i went over to her house and in the perfect situation, we talked and told each other what happened in that long seeming time... Now, this happened mayby 3-4 times that i went over to her place and we'd talk and sometimes watch a movie.
Just like the old days we had alot of fun, but disaster striked and i had to move, i used to be able to walk there but now i lived just simply to far away...
We didn't see each other again for 6 months.
Then i decided i didn't want it to end, so i called her and made a deal with her that i'd come by, i'd be brought by my parents and they'd pick me up also.
This went REALLY well, we had alot of fun and did this mayby 9 times or so, we actually ran through horror movies to watch at one point.
But eventually something happened, my uncle died... At that point i became very unwilling to contact her myself. Thing is, she never called me.
At that point i started realizing that she NEVER EVER made ANY attempt to contact me, and to make those deals with ME.
I was always the one making the move to get that fun.
When i realized that i became very mad, i called her and got her voicemail, on which i told her my phonenumber and politely asked her to call me back.
5 Years later, i still have to receive a response...
My point is, in all that time she never actually DID go out of my mind, she would keep popping up, now i don't know if thats love but i definatly liked her, she was cute to.
But the thing is, i just don't want a one sided relationship, i know she's a busy girl being a top-gymnastic and probably still having alot of friends, but i don't want to be the only one to try.
Fakku, what should i do? I'm not certain if i love her but i know i can get along with her really well and i do like her, but i'm just stumped as to how to turns this around without getting fed up with it again.
Long ago, back in elementary, i was friends with a couple of girls. One in particular, we really got along well and had alot of fun.
Now, when we both went to high school we kind of severed all contacts, i didn't see her nor any of my other friends for mayby 2-3 years.
Then i decided i had waited long enough and wanted to look her up again, i went over to her house and in the perfect situation, we talked and told each other what happened in that long seeming time... Now, this happened mayby 3-4 times that i went over to her place and we'd talk and sometimes watch a movie.
Just like the old days we had alot of fun, but disaster striked and i had to move, i used to be able to walk there but now i lived just simply to far away...
We didn't see each other again for 6 months.
Then i decided i didn't want it to end, so i called her and made a deal with her that i'd come by, i'd be brought by my parents and they'd pick me up also.
This went REALLY well, we had alot of fun and did this mayby 9 times or so, we actually ran through horror movies to watch at one point.
But eventually something happened, my uncle died... At that point i became very unwilling to contact her myself. Thing is, she never called me.
At that point i started realizing that she NEVER EVER made ANY attempt to contact me, and to make those deals with ME.
I was always the one making the move to get that fun.
When i realized that i became very mad, i called her and got her voicemail, on which i told her my phonenumber and politely asked her to call me back.
5 Years later, i still have to receive a response...
My point is, in all that time she never actually DID go out of my mind, she would keep popping up, now i don't know if thats love but i definatly liked her, she was cute to.
But the thing is, i just don't want a one sided relationship, i know she's a busy girl being a top-gymnastic and probably still having alot of friends, but i don't want to be the only one to try.
Fakku, what should i do? I'm not certain if i love her but i know i can get along with her really well and i do like her, but i'm just stumped as to how to turns this around without getting fed up with it again.
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mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Not to be harsh, but the reason she doesn't contact you is probably because she's not interested in you....but don't despair.
You're the one who's interested in her, so it's obvious that you must be the one who makes the first move. It'll be one-sided in the beginning no matter what. The point is, are you able to make her feel attracted to her by your moves?
Whatever it is, just get some balls and make the first move. If you did it right, she's yours.
You're the one who's interested in her, so it's obvious that you must be the one who makes the first move. It'll be one-sided in the beginning no matter what. The point is, are you able to make her feel attracted to her by your moves?
Whatever it is, just get some balls and make the first move. If you did it right, she's yours.
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I'm sorry, five years? Get a clue. YOU CANT ALWAYS HAVE WHAT YOU WANT. Get a new girl to fixate on. You'll both be better off for it.
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Spoiler:
I know, but this is one of those lasting things, i had girlfriends but she kept popping up in my head and i couldn't get myself to keep those relations. It's becoming really bothersome to live like this.
Spoiler:
Aah, you missed one point, i KNOW that she had alot of fun back then with me, we really got along very well, more than most friends. I don't even care if it becomes more than just a friendship, all i want is that friendship to be rekindled.
And the problem with me making the move is that i've done that countless times now, and eventually you just kinda get sick of it. I need a way to reason with her on that, to have her contact me. I'm willing to rekindle the talking between us but not if everything keeps going on my attempts.
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Yeah, that is pretty one-sided (even if she DID like being with you). I say give up. She didn't do a thing while you tried to contact her time and time again, I'm pretty sure she doesn't love you nor will she ever. I'd say give up, as tough as that may be for you. And try to move one.
On the bright side, you two never got together so this "separation" isn't nearly as tough as it could've been if you dated.
Good luck to you on future relationships. Choose wisely.
On the bright side, you two never got together so this "separation" isn't nearly as tough as it could've been if you dated.
Good luck to you on future relationships. Choose wisely.
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mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
Blackraider78 wrote...
Aah, you missed one point, i KNOW that she had alot of fun back then with me, we really got along very well, more than most friends. I don't even care if it becomes more than just a friendship, all i want is that friendship to be rekindled.And the problem with me making the move is that i've done that countless times now, and eventually you just kinda get sick of it. I need a way to reason with her on that, to have her contact me. I'm willing to rekindle the talking between us but not if everything keeps going on my attempts.
Lol, from the first post, I don't think I'd call what you did "moves" at all...sure you spent some time with her, called her and stuff, but any friends can do that. By moves I mean something that will clearly tell her that you want her to be more than a friend, which I don't think you did at all. But I'm supporting you here, don't give up yet. Maybe she's just slow.
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I dono, if you ask me love is just an addiction. Following that line of thought I'd say you are addicted to her, probably much more so because isn't addicted back.
I think you should give up. Five years is a very long time for someone to never message or call you. So far as I can tell, you were only ever 'just there' to her, because even just friends, even the shitty ones that I know everyone has, will call you more often than that.
What this all really says to me is that she has lots going on in her life, and doesn't have time for you. You on the other hand, don't have enough in your life, so you have too much time for her.
I think you should give up. Five years is a very long time for someone to never message or call you. So far as I can tell, you were only ever 'just there' to her, because even just friends, even the shitty ones that I know everyone has, will call you more often than that.
What this all really says to me is that she has lots going on in her life, and doesn't have time for you. You on the other hand, don't have enough in your life, so you have too much time for her.
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Well, I think that if she didn't contact you for that long, she couldn't have simply forgotten and really doesn't want to be together with you like that.
It's kind of hard to explain, but if somebody doesn't like somebody else, who does like them that way, they'll naturally keep avoiding them. I think she passed that message by now. All you could do is talk it over a little. Just say that you really liked her that way. You know she'll say that she doesn't, but at least you got that out of you. =P Sometimes, even meaningless things can help. ^_^
It's kind of hard to explain, but if somebody doesn't like somebody else, who does like them that way, they'll naturally keep avoiding them. I think she passed that message by now. All you could do is talk it over a little. Just say that you really liked her that way. You know she'll say that she doesn't, but at least you got that out of you. =P Sometimes, even meaningless things can help. ^_^
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Spoiler:
Man... Doubt anyone could hit the bullseye more than you.
Anyway, thanks guys. So far several good idea's and comments have come up and i definatly have something to think about now.
Mayby i'll post later what i'm gonna do with this, then again, mayby i'll forget >.>
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This community will always tell you to give up. This sort of thing is a indirect unrequited love. I would say you need to confront your fears, it has been five years if she hasn't called back chances are she doesn't want to be with you. Be a man, face her and ask her about your relationship status if she refuses that means......THAT MEANS YOUR SINGLE AGAIN OH BEHAVE!!
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In all honesty this truly is a one sided attempt. The fact that you literally TOLD her to give you a call and she refused to is a pretty good indicator that you don't factor into her thoughts as much as you'd wish. It's been five years, brother. More than enough time.
If I were to venture a guess, I'd simply say that this girl is the type who can have fun wherever she is and with whomever she is. You say that every time the two of you reconnected you had a fantastic time. That's wonderful but did she give indications at any of those times that she was in love with you? Did she say anything? Tell you in any way, shape, or form that she wished that you'd never leave again? Some people simply have an out of sight, out of mind mentality. My brother is such a person and it's amazing to me. He can go anywhere and hang out with anyone having an amazing time. Once he goes home, though, and gets back to real life, he won't even recall the names of the people he was hanging out with. Just something to keep in mind.
It's my opinion that you've put this girl, or at least your vision of and feelings for her, on a pedestal in your mind. No other relationship has measured up to your enshrined woman since. It's a pretty common thing with a guy's first love, especially if that love was unrequited. Until you find someone who really connects with you I'm afraid you're going to keep this girl on that pedestal simply because she's "proof" that you're capable of feeling as deeply for someone as you do her. Never the less, my advice is that you DO seek out someone else that you can really connect with... and if you should find such a person GIVE HER A CHANCE. People deserve to be judged based on who they are, not some idealized image of what a relationship should be.
Keep in mind that all of this is based purely on the little that you've written in your opening post. If I'm at all off base on this I apologize. I still stand by my advice, though. It's time to BEGIN to move on. Relationships are a two way street and require effort on both sides to survive. This girl hasn't tried to contact you in FIVE YEARS. Ideal woman or not, her feelings for you are clearly not even close to being as devoted as your own. You deserve to find someone who can return your feelings equally. Stop pining for this ghost and find someone who will really love you.
If I were to venture a guess, I'd simply say that this girl is the type who can have fun wherever she is and with whomever she is. You say that every time the two of you reconnected you had a fantastic time. That's wonderful but did she give indications at any of those times that she was in love with you? Did she say anything? Tell you in any way, shape, or form that she wished that you'd never leave again? Some people simply have an out of sight, out of mind mentality. My brother is such a person and it's amazing to me. He can go anywhere and hang out with anyone having an amazing time. Once he goes home, though, and gets back to real life, he won't even recall the names of the people he was hanging out with. Just something to keep in mind.
It's my opinion that you've put this girl, or at least your vision of and feelings for her, on a pedestal in your mind. No other relationship has measured up to your enshrined woman since. It's a pretty common thing with a guy's first love, especially if that love was unrequited. Until you find someone who really connects with you I'm afraid you're going to keep this girl on that pedestal simply because she's "proof" that you're capable of feeling as deeply for someone as you do her. Never the less, my advice is that you DO seek out someone else that you can really connect with... and if you should find such a person GIVE HER A CHANCE. People deserve to be judged based on who they are, not some idealized image of what a relationship should be.
Keep in mind that all of this is based purely on the little that you've written in your opening post. If I'm at all off base on this I apologize. I still stand by my advice, though. It's time to BEGIN to move on. Relationships are a two way street and require effort on both sides to survive. This girl hasn't tried to contact you in FIVE YEARS. Ideal woman or not, her feelings for you are clearly not even close to being as devoted as your own. You deserve to find someone who can return your feelings equally. Stop pining for this ghost and find someone who will really love you.