Taki preview

generally good, but u really need more smooth and definite lines. and work into details for the hand and face.also the hair looks too mono coloured atm.

just some pointers~

:!:

Yeah, the hair does look mono colored. Add some shine to it and it'll look a lot better, but looking pretty on other aspects.

Personally i think the way you draw neck is very thick. It looks really muscular and seems really out of place to me but... if that's how you like it =)

Yes you should and not only for this one, all your characters should have more thinner neck unless its a guy with muscular structure. Also smoother line would improve the quality of your work a lot. Keep it up!:)

Ummm.... Is it me or is it still looks the same except for the date and the highlights on her hair.

umm the neck. u still need to reduce it a bit. and put details into the hand.

I wouldn't worry so much about drawing hentai before improving on your line art and coloring. ;)

Your lines are too sketchy, it's hard to tell what all those randomly placed lines are supposed to be. You should also work on shading a bit more because the character looks really flat. Maybe be a bit neater with your shading as well, since I notice that your shading of her neck seems very splotchy.

In general, smoother lines and more shading. Imagine a light bulb to one side of her and shade depending on what you think light hits and where it doesn't. :)