Trouble with this girl-person...

Well, I've recently become friends with this nice, single girl. she's older than me, and we have so much in common, I think there's a lot of computability for something greater than friends. We've been talking and Im good at making her laugh, and making conversation. I've presented the idea of us being a couple a few times, and while she hasn't outright refused me, she's always simply taken it as a joke... and I usually just go along so I dont embarrass myself.

Im not mind reader, but I guess she's not very interested in me to be more than a friend. Admittedly, we've only been friends for about a week.

should i just give it more time? should I continue my joking advances(she finds them funny anyways)? Or is it just hopeless already?

thanks

I recommend that you should not rush it. You known her for a week right? Get to know her better,two of you have things in common so taking to her is easy. Also she takes your idea to be more than friends a joke and hasn't refuse it right? So take your time. The feelings she has for you is there its just that its not enough to pass that border line between friends-and-more than friends. Continue to talk to her,get to know her better,make her feel comfortable around you,make her laugh,and most of all be yourself. I hope this helps you Pocru-san.

Pocru... san?

...man, that felt good to read.

anyway, yeah, I suppose that makes sense, keep it slow, but I worry still. its not easy for us to see each other, so I'm worried she might get nabbed under my nose by some sweet-talking jerk.

T_T but I guess for that all I can do is hope, or something akin to that.

thanks for your advice, but a second opinion would be appreciated as well.

thanks!

With any girl that you like, you have to keep the communication line between the two of you stable. If you can get her number to text, Instant messenger ID, email, or etc; but make sure you ask her and not through someone else.

When you are communicating through some means that do not require face to face conversations people tend to let the their guard down.

Just like Kuri said, you need to take time into it, can't just go rushing in hoping everything turns out ok, The world wasn't entirely made in one day. Have confidence in yourself, like the world, everything has to start somewhere. Do what you can do.

oohh man, your in for a surprise,, girls like that are cool, I mean when a guy can make a girl laugh it's really, really a plus point, it's one of my personal basis coz I think that every girl wants her man to be funny, sweet, smooth talker, understanding and kind--something like that. So personality really does count first and the looks come second to it, but hey! if you're a looker then it's a bonus.

I can sense Pocru that your a smooth talker kind of guy and you said you've been friends for a week, I advice to take it easy man, ease your way thru her, make her appreciate you more and you can achieve that my friend by

* making her laugh more often [when a guy does this a lot, she remembers you often, whenever she's happy or sad]

* show her your skills, like if you can cook, prepare something for her or her family, no need to be fancy

* talk to her family members more often too-- that will help you win her! ^^

* just do the little things that both of you can appreciate.

Hope you win her man! Go for it!

Yeah Kuri has the right idea here.

yeah, this is all good advice. =3 thanks guys.

BUT while Im on the help thread, maybe I can ask another question Im curious about. Do you think a relationship you rush into can last? Or do you HAVE to go slowly in order for it to be good?

thanks!

Depends on the girl. Girls who are more introverted will probably tend to take more time to get into her fold of trust/love (and her folds of labia), while extroverted girls can take things at a somewhat faster pace. I wouldn't recommend just "rushing" a relationship because I don't think that will work out at all.

if you don't have any rival in love, just take your time, nothing good comes from a hurried relationship... seriously

it depends if both of you are totally madly attracted to eachother, but diff factors are needed to be considered like your current relationship w/ her or can both of you handle the pressure of the whirlwind courtship or the likes, coz at the end it may turn out that u just got "Challenge" coz the girl is Different, in a sense that she's out of your league, then it wont last.

While, if you took your time at least you'll know her more and vice versa, both of you can adjust to eachothers differences.

I dunno about this whole "take your time" thing, I wouldn't go with that. Taking to long will make you seem like just a friend. See you gotta relize this, there are two factors at work here: affection and attraction. She seems to have alot of affection for you, which is good, it is the embers to a relationship that makes it last. However, you need to make her ATTRACTED to you.

The difference is you can choose who you have affection for. But you can't choose who you are attracted to. So she has chosen to have affection for you, but only you can make her attracted to you, she doesn't have a choice in the matter. Example, I have no choice that when I see Jessica Alba, I am attracted to her. If I could deciced not to be, I would deciced not to be attracted to her just to make my girlfriend happy. But Attraction isn't a choice so...

You have to make her attracted to you. Act cocky, but not to the point of being an asshole. Praise yourself abit, but throw in some self-depriciating humor. Take the lead more, if you go somewhere, don't just ask her what she wants to do, but say "hey, i want to take you to this place". And don't be to complientary, you can't be a kiss ass. And more importantly, tease her a bit. Poke fun at her nail polish, or the funky poka dotted purse she has. Thats how I met my gf, I noticed her toe nail polish was Red and Green alternating, so I teased her that Christmas wasn't for a while, but that it was still festive.

Be confident, and not sappy, when you are going out, then you can be saying romantic things, but for now you want her to be attracted to you, because that is the catalyst that gets your relationship started.

agree on some part-- take your time to know her better, but not like forever, constantly remind or tell her that you like her and as much as you can, you'll make her like/ fall for you more than she'll evr know! *wink* lol

If you constantly tell her that you like her, she will get both annoyed and the feeling that you are desperate, and trust me, girls can tell when you are desperate. Imagine if there was a desperate girl who nobody liked, and she kept bothering you, what would you do? You would be polite, and listen to her, and if she was nice you would spend time with her, but you wouldn't be attracted to her. And you would try to joke or play it off whenever she confessed her feelings for you. Why? because you like her so you want to be her friend and not hurt her feelings, but you don't love her and it wouldn't be fair to you or her to say that you did. So don't fall into that place of a desprate person, or you'll be that girl.

Don't seem desprate, and that includes spending to much time with her, acting like she is the only girl in the world (even if you think she is), and kissing the grown she walks on. This all takes place after you are hooked up.

Listen to Carthagian about listening to me! Ever notice how girls have dick boyfriends and you wonder "why do girls like guys like that instead of a nice guy like me?". Well it is because they are attracted to them, and it isn't their choice! Their friends will even tell them they need a new boyfriend, but they don't leave because they can't help themselves... they don't have choice, they are too attracted. Create that sexual tension, start with casual touches, don't seem desprate, tease her, and act like cocky son-of-bitch without going overboard.

AND NEVER BE A KISSASS!