Is This Wrong?
-2
I have decided to disown my parents, both mother and father, and renounce my Mixson and Debartolo blood. With that being said, I came to SD for a little advice. So here it goes.
My father abandoned me when I was 2. I didn't hear from him until my 12th birthday and again until my 15th. He has never once tried to be a father because he prefers to drink and do drugs. To put it simply, he was never ready to be a father. I have no memories of him, and although I love him just because he's my dad, I hate him for what he has put me through.
My mother raised me alone all her life. At one time she even worked 3 jobs to support my sister and I. But recently, she has been disabled and hasn't worked in 2 years. In those two years she has grown into a child. More immature than my sister and myself together. I, still being stuck here, naturally took it upon myself to set the example my sister would have to follow.
Every child needs parents, and I know from experience that not having them is worse than having abusive parents. So, I told my mother about the time my sister hit 13 that she needed to grow up and set an example for my sister so that she didn't end up like me. Of course, my mother threw a fit and that was the end of it.
Ever since then I have been trying my hardest to keep my head cool and show my sister how she should act. Of course, my mother doesn't like that so she counteracts it by just babying my sister and letting her do anything without consequence. I hit the end of my rope a year ago and am at the point where I can't take it anymore. Hence, renouncing my bloodline.
My question is this, do you think I have gone too far? What would you do?
My father abandoned me when I was 2. I didn't hear from him until my 12th birthday and again until my 15th. He has never once tried to be a father because he prefers to drink and do drugs. To put it simply, he was never ready to be a father. I have no memories of him, and although I love him just because he's my dad, I hate him for what he has put me through.
My mother raised me alone all her life. At one time she even worked 3 jobs to support my sister and I. But recently, she has been disabled and hasn't worked in 2 years. In those two years she has grown into a child. More immature than my sister and myself together. I, still being stuck here, naturally took it upon myself to set the example my sister would have to follow.
Every child needs parents, and I know from experience that not having them is worse than having abusive parents. So, I told my mother about the time my sister hit 13 that she needed to grow up and set an example for my sister so that she didn't end up like me. Of course, my mother threw a fit and that was the end of it.
Ever since then I have been trying my hardest to keep my head cool and show my sister how she should act. Of course, my mother doesn't like that so she counteracts it by just babying my sister and letting her do anything without consequence. I hit the end of my rope a year ago and am at the point where I can't take it anymore. Hence, renouncing my bloodline.
My question is this, do you think I have gone too far? What would you do?
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I never saw my parents as great role models either. Never disowned them, but I stopped most contact with them for a few years while I worked on myself.
I love my parents as well...I mean, they provided me with food, shelter and all the necessities when I was growing up. This is something I want to provide for them as well in the future. But they wanted something for me that I had no interest in, they were adamant about it and this prevented me from growing in the direction that I wanted. Leaving was probably the best move I could've made. Without the noise, I could finally grow and evolve.
I think that having no example is better than having shitty examples. You can always find great examples, or even better, find mentors that can help point you in the right direction. This also helps you become the example you wanted for your future children.
So 'disowning' your mother and sister is a little drastic...but I see that as just temporary. When you get your shit together again, things will change.
I love my parents as well...I mean, they provided me with food, shelter and all the necessities when I was growing up. This is something I want to provide for them as well in the future. But they wanted something for me that I had no interest in, they were adamant about it and this prevented me from growing in the direction that I wanted. Leaving was probably the best move I could've made. Without the noise, I could finally grow and evolve.
I think that having no example is better than having shitty examples. You can always find great examples, or even better, find mentors that can help point you in the right direction. This also helps you become the example you wanted for your future children.
So 'disowning' your mother and sister is a little drastic...but I see that as just temporary. When you get your shit together again, things will change.
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My mother raised me alone all her life. At one time she even worked 3 jobs to support my sister and I. But recently, she has been disabled and hasn't worked in 2 years. In those two years she has grown into a child. More immature than my sister and myself together. I, still being stuck here, naturally took it upon myself to set the example my sister would have to follow.
So, let me get this straight. Your mother took care of you, but got unwell for the past 2 years. Now you're abandoning her to set an example for your sister?
Yes, this is the absolutely the right thing to do. Frankly, you sound like you inherited your father's views on responsibility, so that shouldn't surprise your mother much. So you go do your thing and leave, and it will be far better for both you, and your mother and sister.
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I also don't have a good relationship with parents because of what they have done, but disowning your mom is too extreme you still need to try and talk to your mom about your sister or have a talk with you sister. With your dad despite all of the things he has done he is still your dad give him a chance to try to improve your relationship with him. You need to discuss your feelings with your dad to make understand and tell him that he has 1 more chance to improve your relationship with him.
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animefreak_usa
Child of Samael
I been on my own since i was 16.. i worked a full time job, when to college full time and still had my national guard stuff to do, and supported my brother because my mom was a douche... my dad never cared a ounce of shit about me and my struggle to feed his son and myself since he didn't think he should support his son when he wasn't in high school anymore( i just said fuck it and took the state exam to graduate early). Everybody in my family didn't care about us because we're not full blooded mexicans and when i had my accident where i died and revived into a coma.... the only people who came to see me was my ex, my brother and my cousin who was taking care of him since my mom and dad didn't give a fuck about me. Now i have a good life, military pay and cilvian job with a wife and two kids and my brother is in school and was accepted into the FBI training once he graduates with his bs and turns 21..
Now my point is fuck your father, but your mother is a different problem since she worked hard to keep you and your sister alive.. i hate my mother and father... but still i have to still care about him since their my parents.. if not for my own-self for my kids relationship with them. If you want to leave... do it. If you feel your sister will be endanger with your mother, file the case, get her... i did.
Now my point is fuck your father, but your mother is a different problem since she worked hard to keep you and your sister alive.. i hate my mother and father... but still i have to still care about him since their my parents.. if not for my own-self for my kids relationship with them. If you want to leave... do it. If you feel your sister will be endanger with your mother, file the case, get her... i did.
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Sounds like a drastic choice for to make for a situation like this. It's not really going to DO anything. Family is an important thing, something you should never throw away like this. I say talk it out a bit more.
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hmm
I didnt know my Dad unitl i was 11, and tbh he isnt the best role model xd he smokes alot of weed which back then i thought was really bad xD, and does alot of drinking xD he isnt nessisarily a bad dad as he's never raised his fist against me and he's incredibly laidback xD
Foruntaly for me ive had an incredible Mum, who helps me whenever i need it :)
But back OT
Personally if my parents were like that and i was an only child i would of left by now, but since you have a sister and youve obviously been trying to set a good example for her, i suppose you have no option but to stay with your family, physically and mentally, for her sake.
You may say that i dont know what its like, and to be honest i probaly dont,but im saying what coems into my head and rereading this its sound advise,
Even if you did leave your parents, do you have anywhere to go, would you take your sister with you? would she be safe?
Sometimes its just best to grit your teeth and get on with life :)
Btw when im talking about leaving, im meaning that both physically and metaphorically
I didnt know my Dad unitl i was 11, and tbh he isnt the best role model xd he smokes alot of weed which back then i thought was really bad xD, and does alot of drinking xD he isnt nessisarily a bad dad as he's never raised his fist against me and he's incredibly laidback xD
Foruntaly for me ive had an incredible Mum, who helps me whenever i need it :)
But back OT
Personally if my parents were like that and i was an only child i would of left by now, but since you have a sister and youve obviously been trying to set a good example for her, i suppose you have no option but to stay with your family, physically and mentally, for her sake.
You may say that i dont know what its like, and to be honest i probaly dont,but im saying what coems into my head and rereading this its sound advise,
Even if you did leave your parents, do you have anywhere to go, would you take your sister with you? would she be safe?
Sometimes its just best to grit your teeth and get on with life :)
Btw when im talking about leaving, im meaning that both physically and metaphorically
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In my case, my father is an absolute piece of work, but I know that I am who I am because he "taught" me what not to do. I also know full well that as much as I don't want to be related to him, I am, and there isn't anything I could do about it.
Your mother does seem to love you, and even if she won't say it, that is probably breaking her heart. I don't think that disowning her is the best way to go around things, but who knows what's best for you other than you.
Your mother does seem to love you, and even if she won't say it, that is probably breaking her heart. I don't think that disowning her is the best way to go around things, but who knows what's best for you other than you.
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How old are you? What is your current standing (student, work, etc)?
If you're not 18 yet, give it some time. If you're still interested in cutting ties by then, so be it. Just think it over... that's a blow you can't easily take back. At least your mother has helped you through life in some way, no?
She may be at a bad time in her life, but don't discount all the work she did to raise you.
And if you can't honestly (realistically) make it on your own, family is a good link to keep around.
If you're not 18 yet, give it some time. If you're still interested in cutting ties by then, so be it. Just think it over... that's a blow you can't easily take back. At least your mother has helped you through life in some way, no?
She may be at a bad time in her life, but don't discount all the work she did to raise you.
And if you can't honestly (realistically) make it on your own, family is a good link to keep around.
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Boo hoo. daddy wasn't there. mommy won't wipe my ass any more. i'll run away, that'll show them. guess what son, everybody's childhood sucks. get over it.
i agree with fatman's post. what a little bitch you are. your mother supports you your whole life, then when she finally buckles under the pressure, you have a tantrum and run away. man the fuck up.
and the bit about "abusive parents are better than no parents", are you fucking kidding me? i personaly know several people who would stab you in the face if you said that to them.
coward.
i agree with fatman's post. what a little bitch you are. your mother supports you your whole life, then when she finally buckles under the pressure, you have a tantrum and run away. man the fuck up.
and the bit about "abusive parents are better than no parents", are you fucking kidding me? i personaly know several people who would stab you in the face if you said that to them.
coward.
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Not having parents CAN be better then having abusive parents.
If you have a father that rapes you and a mother that firmly believes you've tempted him to do it and thus tries to murder you for stealing her husband, while spoiling your baby sister because she's the good kid, I cannot imagine a single person that would go; "Oh well, at least I have parents."
Because, assuming you don't live in Africa, kids without parents usually end up being taken care of either way. And better off than with abusive parents.
And why go through the trouble of all that renouncing stuff?
If you don't want anything to do with them, get a job and leave.
It's that simple.
If you have a father that rapes you and a mother that firmly believes you've tempted him to do it and thus tries to murder you for stealing her husband, while spoiling your baby sister because she's the good kid, I cannot imagine a single person that would go; "Oh well, at least I have parents."
Because, assuming you don't live in Africa, kids without parents usually end up being taken care of either way. And better off than with abusive parents.
And why go through the trouble of all that renouncing stuff?
If you don't want anything to do with them, get a job and leave.
It's that simple.