lifes cycle

something ive been thinking about a lot latley, at times i think its silly and my dad has lots of life in him but at other times i cant think straight when i think about loosing him. my dad and i are really close, hes the guy who taught me just about everything [excluding school and whatnot] and is one of the most important people in my life, but i realized this week that my "silly" thoughts are something to worry about, last sunday when he was walking outside with my nephew who is 3 years old, my nephew walked right infront of him as he was walking down the steps from the porch and he ended up falling down the 3 steps in order to keep from knocking him down, breaking his wrist in three places. and had to get two pines put in it. it was a routine thing and i didint think there be a problem, but there was. he almost didnt wake up because of the stuff they used to put him under, in retrospect its because he smokes like a chimney, as i do. but it made me realise that even if the end isisint near. there is an end. and sometimes like this it brings me to tears when i think about it. i think its rather silly because hes here and hes alive and hes not gonna be dead when i wake up or anything but i cant help thinking about it from time to time. my question is how to deal with this, those of you who ahve experienced loss like this. how did YOU deal with it?

I understand what you mean. I went through this train of thought to unhealthy levels as a teenager (this is not meant to be condescending) and it royally fucked up my head for awhile. I think there's that moment, for everybody, where it suddenly dawns on you that everyone you know and yourself will eventually be shuffling off this mortal coil.

The best piece of advice I can give on this is to make peace with it. There's no way to stop the inevitable and being overly paranoid about dying can really drag down your quality of life. Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with a little healthy necrophobia. After all, no one wants to be stabbed to death or die in a car fire etc. Everything in moderation I suppose.

O.O wow. im sorry but i kinda laughed when i read that not for the reasons you might assume!! its just my therapist said almost the same EXACT thing. its what im trying to do. but i wanted to know how others delt with it

Think of it this way, what do your parents think when they are at
work? Are my kids safe? Will I make it home tonight? These thoughts
are inevitable. You love your father just as most of us do. Just make
peace with that daunting idea, and live it out with your 'old man' . My
father's nearing his 50's and I am scared. But i choose to enjoy
my time with him than think what am I going to do without him.

This has been something I've dealt with since I was 13 years old. My mom has had cancer twice, and has a chronic disease called sarcoidosis that will ultimately be the reason she'll pass away.

Basically this disease lays dormant and can potentially awaken to take over her entire body. This can happen any day, any year, or it can never happen at all and she could live to be very old.

Her body is breaking down though, on top of everything she deals with a spinal disease where when looking at her sacrum - it's like mush. She has difficulties sitting or standing, or even laying down for long periods. Her typical sleep schedule is about 5 hours before having to get up for a bit.

She just had surgery on her stomach getting rid of a mass that was due to her sarcoidosis spreading as well.

She's a sick woman, but she's also one of the strongest women I know. She takes everything with a grain of salt. Her way of coping is by joking about it - and she never lets her physical health effect her emotionally. She's decided that she's going to live life the way she wants to, and she won't dwell over something she can't control, and actually take control of what little of her life she does have control over.

Very few times have I seen her depressed over it, and let me tell you - when she's down about it or saying she's tired of everything, it feels like the world is literally falling all around me. I get scared if she's emotionally not handling it, because I feel like that's all that's keeping her together anymore is her strong heart. I feel like if that's gone, then I'll lose her and that's the last thing I ever want to happen.

I deal with it by behaving by her example. I don't get depressed with her, and I support her with what she does by not dwelling over her health as well.

I guess it's a bit selfish. Sometimes I wonder if it's just an act to make me feel better, and how she really feels. I do feel bad that she's had to struggle with her health for such a long time and that it's something won't ever go away. It makes me want to work hard for her and make her proud. I do want to do a bunch of things for her before she's gone, and I hope I get to make that happen for her. She's never had a house of her own - she doesn't even have her own home right now due to me moving for college. She lives with her friend. I hope to become successful enough that I can give her a home, and a good vacation too.

wow. after reading that i feel i realy dont have much to worry about.

Ouch! Though, if this offers any explanation, I see a therapist as well; entirely different issues though. There's no real 'nice' way to deal with death really. I've been told I'm a cold person and this is true to a degree, so maybe that helps me with this type of thing. Also, as an atheist, I don't have the "extra comfort" that comes with the "afterlife" stuff.

I've always taken some solace in the fact that no one has to deal with all the crap that goes on here day-to-day after they die. A small consolation I guess. I don't think there are any definitive answers on this one other than to make the best of the time you have and with those you associate with.

If I may make an analogy, think of that someone who never gets over their ex-girlfriend/wife and becomes a bitter shell of a person; there's people that deal with death in this way too, unfortunately. It's not recommended, but somewhat understandable.

I wish I could offer you better advice, but I'm no psych specialist or professional.

@Ziggy: That was a much better way of putting it then I could conjure at this time.

Shit happens. Don't dwell on it. Be appreciative of what you've got. Just because you have troubles doesn't mean that you've got it bad or you should be unhappy. Just take it in your stride and keep moving. You are awesome, keep being awesome.