Reaching Out to Love
0
I was just watching some tv , actually I was watching "Their Eyes Were Watching God", then it came to me what is love? The thought came to me after after seeing Janie get abused by Jody yet she stocked by him for over twenty years. Could that be love? Could love can be built through violence?
I began to think about what my parents told what love is; " Love is the feeling you get when you deeply care for someone. Love is the feeling of wanting to protect those who is most dear to you;" is that really true? Can love really be that easily explained? Can really tell you what love is or give you such a simple guide?
We don't pick our families and once we are in one we suppose to love and care for one another, but have you ever asked yourself why? Why do I have to love my family that I don't really care for and have few in common with? Well have you?
I began to think about what my parents told what love is; " Love is the feeling you get when you deeply care for someone. Love is the feeling of wanting to protect those who is most dear to you;" is that really true? Can love really be that easily explained? Can really tell you what love is or give you such a simple guide?
We don't pick our families and once we are in one we suppose to love and care for one another, but have you ever asked yourself why? Why do I have to love my family that I don't really care for and have few in common with? Well have you?
0
"Please organize your sentences more and separate them so we don't get confused while reading them or get lost in it."
What my love was in life with my family?
I guess you can say that at first I didn't believe in love within my family, I believed everybody was just stuck together without a reason. All I could think to myself was, "Why does it have to be them, why wasn't I born in a nicer family?"
My father punished me in ways that isn't considered normal, it was too much for a child, even in my teens he beat me good, and for what, so I could become the boy he always wished for in his dreams, obedient and successful?
I had to put up a fight someday, so I did and since then we have been kinda distant living under the same roof, so it was a awkward phase and also a awkward moment where we sat on the table and ate dinner, we just didn't feel like a family anymore, and since then we have been living together, helping out, going out to eat, talking from time to time, but that on thing was missing, it was love.
So I began fighting for it, I began believing that there was indeed love in him, and in me, and that we could share it. I fought so many years for it, I truly believed there was a nice guy/father in him, someone that I needed my whole life, I truly believed there was a reason why I was the one being his son. So before he flew back to Colorado, we spent a few weeks together, talking, eating together, and also thinking about those harsh times we had, and in the end, I knew why he was my father .... I suddenly started remembering all the good things he did for me and all those times he held on to me, even though we didn't get along on good terms. I knew exactly when I said this to myself, " So many relatives hates him, but he tries so hard without knowing that love is all that matters."
Before the day he went flying back to Colorado, I told my dad that all I wanted was his love, not his efforts in trying to love me, just to show me his true self.
After that, he opened his eyes, he felt love, I believe he felt it for the first time in his life ... because his life wasn't easy as well in his family, I guess he never experienced love as well, and I guess through my thick head of not giving up on his love, it finally paid off.
Since then he became a gentle man, he treats my mom with the utmost respect ( They even go out on dates now, and they never did that before ), he is finally moving on to a normal life, I am happy ... sure I am suffering because I am alone without my family here in Germany, but as long as they are happy I don't care what happens to me, well I still hope they could help me out from time to time. ( Hehe )
So since your thread is called Reaching out to love, I guess this is my story of reaching out to love. ( For my father )
What my love was in life with my family?
I guess you can say that at first I didn't believe in love within my family, I believed everybody was just stuck together without a reason. All I could think to myself was, "Why does it have to be them, why wasn't I born in a nicer family?"
My father punished me in ways that isn't considered normal, it was too much for a child, even in my teens he beat me good, and for what, so I could become the boy he always wished for in his dreams, obedient and successful?
I had to put up a fight someday, so I did and since then we have been kinda distant living under the same roof, so it was a awkward phase and also a awkward moment where we sat on the table and ate dinner, we just didn't feel like a family anymore, and since then we have been living together, helping out, going out to eat, talking from time to time, but that on thing was missing, it was love.
So I began fighting for it, I began believing that there was indeed love in him, and in me, and that we could share it. I fought so many years for it, I truly believed there was a nice guy/father in him, someone that I needed my whole life, I truly believed there was a reason why I was the one being his son. So before he flew back to Colorado, we spent a few weeks together, talking, eating together, and also thinking about those harsh times we had, and in the end, I knew why he was my father .... I suddenly started remembering all the good things he did for me and all those times he held on to me, even though we didn't get along on good terms. I knew exactly when I said this to myself, " So many relatives hates him, but he tries so hard without knowing that love is all that matters."
Before the day he went flying back to Colorado, I told my dad that all I wanted was his love, not his efforts in trying to love me, just to show me his true self.
After that, he opened his eyes, he felt love, I believe he felt it for the first time in his life ... because his life wasn't easy as well in his family, I guess he never experienced love as well, and I guess through my thick head of not giving up on his love, it finally paid off.
Since then he became a gentle man, he treats my mom with the utmost respect ( They even go out on dates now, and they never did that before ), he is finally moving on to a normal life, I am happy ... sure I am suffering because I am alone without my family here in Germany, but as long as they are happy I don't care what happens to me, well I still hope they could help me out from time to time. ( Hehe )
So since your thread is called Reaching out to love, I guess this is my story of reaching out to love. ( For my father )
0
We don't pick our families and once we are in one we suppose to love and care for one another, but have you ever asked yourself why? Why do I have to love my family that I don't really care for and have few in common with?
You don't _have_ to.
There are many valid reasons not to love family. But if abused children can love their parents, and you don't because "you didn't pick them and you have nothing in common", then there's a word for that.
Douchebag.
0
fatman wrote...
We don't pick our families and once we are in one we suppose to love and care for one another, but have you ever asked yourself why? Why do I have to love my family that I don't really care for and have few in common with?
You don't _have_ to.
There are many valid reasons not to love family. But if abused children can love their parents, and you don't because "you didn't pick them and you have nothing in common", then there's a word for that.
Douchebag.
I agree with you on that one, there are people out there who doesn't need any specific reasons to love their family, they know they are in it and they can have a good life in it ... if they give effort to maintaining that love inside their family.
0
Tegumi
"im always cute"
Legendary_Dollci wrote...
"Please organize your sentences more and separate them so we don't get confused while reading them or get lost in it."This. SD is not for "something that just popped into my head so I'm going to ramble on about it"
0
Freaky Green wrote...
I was just watching some TV, when it came to me. What is love? The thought came to me after after seeing someone being abused by someone who stalked her for over twenty years. Could that be love? Can love be built through a foundation of violence? Love is a very strange and complicated thing. In the mind of a healthy person, it can drive an individual to always be willing and ready to accept the being for whom they feel so strongly, whether that is emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually. It is complex but Love, real love -- is a furious fire wrapped around compassion. Compassion is defined as 'sympathy or concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others'.
To harm another person is to reject compassion for them, so to that end -- No, Love cannot be born from violence.
In essence, Love is when you truly care for someone. Completely. When you can appreciate another individual so wholly, that their truest wellbeing and happiness is your concern. You want the genuine best for them.
I know that some people claim they can love someone, without truly feeling for their wellbeing -- stalkers, psychopaths, abusers, etc. But I really believe that it's not love they feel. Love is selfless. True love is free from the tyranny of self-loathing, selfishness, and the desire to possess. To truly love, you must look upon another person as a separate soul, with just as much value on their own desires and needs as you place on your own.
Freaky Green wrote...
We can't pick our families and once we are in one, we are supposed to love and care for them. But have you ever asked yourself why? Why do I have to love my family that I don't really care for and have few in common with? Well have you?I don't believe that we are 'supposed to love and care for them', in the sense that there is some sort of social obligation to each other... I believe it is a biological compulsion. We must nurture our offspring to create a stronger race for the future, and as Primates, we have always survived more ideally as families. Safety in numbers, etc.
As infants and small children, we are compelled to assure our own survival by accumulating as much long-term affection from our family members as possible. It's a survival mechanism, all of it can be traced to biological imperatives.
Science aside, however..
Love is probably the most important thing to have in your life. Humans are social creatures, we need friends and loved ones. For support. For meaning. For context on our universe. Simply because you may not understand someone now doesn't mean you are without the ability to.
While it's true that many of the people in my family vary between zealots and criminals, I am not without love for them. My aunt, her family, and my Grandmother being the ones that I 'do not understand, but love'. They cling to their faiths and tired views for a reason, but they are still worth appreciating.
They still bleed, they still hurt, they still wish, they still dream. They're still people.
They're my people.
And that's why I love them.
0
I'm not sure if your talking about domestic violence or family love, so i'm going to respond to both. I feel that you should hit or hurt the ones you love. I will admit sometimes we are not always ware of what we do to people, but like my dad has always told me while you can't always control when you feel angry,you can control what you do with it.
And while abuse victims sometimes have a hard time recognizing it, i don't believe that is love. That is not having enough respect for yourself to realize when someone in going over the line in there actions to you. While i have never been in a abusive relationship, i did have a friendship that went really bad. At the time i didn't have enough self esteem to get out of it, but thankfully my dad helped me find the confidence to end it.
And as for family, personally i've alway had a good relationship with my family. Me and my mom have some issues, but i just have come to the conclusion she is hard to love with rather than her not loving me enough or anything like that
And while abuse victims sometimes have a hard time recognizing it, i don't believe that is love. That is not having enough respect for yourself to realize when someone in going over the line in there actions to you. While i have never been in a abusive relationship, i did have a friendship that went really bad. At the time i didn't have enough self esteem to get out of it, but thankfully my dad helped me find the confidence to end it.
And as for family, personally i've alway had a good relationship with my family. Me and my mom have some issues, but i just have come to the conclusion she is hard to love with rather than her not loving me enough or anything like that
0
Legendary_Dollci wrote...
"Please organize your sentences more and separate them so we don't get confused while reading them or get lost in it."What my love was in life with my family?
I guess you can say that at first I didn't believe in love within my family, I believed everybody was just stuck together without a reason. All I could think to myself was, "Why does it have to be them, why wasn't I born in a nicer family?"
My father punished me in ways that isn't considered normal, it was too much for a child, even in my teens he beat me good, and for what, so I could become the boy he always wished for in his dreams, obedient and successful?
I had to put up a fight someday, so I did and since then we have been kinda distant living under the same roof, so it was a awkward phase and also a awkward moment where we sat on the table and ate dinner, we just didn't feel like a family anymore, and since then we have been living together, helping out, going out to eat, talking from time to time, but that on thing was missing, it was love.
So I began fighting for it, I began believing that there was indeed love in him, and in me, and that we could share it. I fought so many years for it, I truly believed there was a nice guy/father in him, someone that I needed my whole life, I truly believed there was a reason why I was the one being his son. So before he flew back to Colorado, we spent a few weeks together, talking, eating together, and also thinking about those harsh times we had, and in the end, I knew why he was my father .... I suddenly started remembering all the good things he did for me and all those times he held on to me, even though we didn't get along on good terms. I knew exactly when I said this to myself, " So many relatives hates him, but he tries so hard without knowing that love is all that matters."
Before the day he went flying back to Colorado, I told my dad that all I wanted was his love, not his efforts in trying to love me, just to show me his true self.
After that, he opened his eyes, he felt love, I believe he felt it for the first time in his life ... because his life wasn't easy as well in his family, I guess he never experienced love as well, and I guess through my thick head of not giving up on his love, it finally paid off.
Since then he became a gentle man, he treats my mom with the utmost respect ( They even go out on dates now, and they never did that before ), he is finally moving on to a normal life, I am happy ... sure I am suffering because I am alone without my family here in Germany, but as long as they are happy I don't care what happens to me, well I still hope they could help me out from time to time. ( Hehe )
So since your thread is called Reaching out to love, I guess this is my story of reaching out to love. ( For my father )
Yeah I tried to organized but for some reason it got like that, there might be a glitch.
0
Freaky Green wrote...
Legendary_Dollci wrote...
"Please organize your sentences more and separate them so we don't get confused while reading them or get lost in it."What my love was in life with my family?
I guess you can say that at first I didn't believe in love within my family, I believed everybody was just stuck together without a reason. All I could think to myself was, "Why does it have to be them, why wasn't I born in a nicer family?"
My father punished me in ways that isn't considered normal, it was too much for a child, even in my teens he beat me good, and for what, so I could become the boy he always wished for in his dreams, obedient and successful?
I had to put up a fight someday, so I did and since then we have been kinda distant living under the same roof, so it was a awkward phase and also a awkward moment where we sat on the table and ate dinner, we just didn't feel like a family anymore, and since then we have been living together, helping out, going out to eat, talking from time to time, but that on thing was missing, it was love.
So I began fighting for it, I began believing that there was indeed love in him, and in me, and that we could share it. I fought so many years for it, I truly believed there was a nice guy/father in him, someone that I needed my whole life, I truly believed there was a reason why I was the one being his son. So before he flew back to Colorado, we spent a few weeks together, talking, eating together, and also thinking about those harsh times we had, and in the end, I knew why he was my father .... I suddenly started remembering all the good things he did for me and all those times he held on to me, even though we didn't get along on good terms. I knew exactly when I said this to myself, " So many relatives hates him, but he tries so hard without knowing that love is all that matters."
Before the day he went flying back to Colorado, I told my dad that all I wanted was his love, not his efforts in trying to love me, just to show me his true self.
After that, he opened his eyes, he felt love, I believe he felt it for the first time in his life ... because his life wasn't easy as well in his family, I guess he never experienced love as well, and I guess through my thick head of not giving up on his love, it finally paid off.
Since then he became a gentle man, he treats my mom with the utmost respect ( They even go out on dates now, and they never did that before ), he is finally moving on to a normal life, I am happy ... sure I am suffering because I am alone without my family here in Germany, but as long as they are happy I don't care what happens to me, well I still hope they could help me out from time to time. ( Hehe )
So since your thread is called Reaching out to love, I guess this is my story of reaching out to love. ( For my father )
Yeah I tried to organized but for some reason it got like that, there might be a glitch.
Well then report it to the admins about it, and edit your thread now, and we'll see if that is the case.
Go on and edit your opening.
0
Love is a neurological/biological function of the brain. Love does not exist in a sense that love is out there and we can capture it. Love is a by-product of the brain. Nothing more than that
0
someguyz wrote...
Love is a neurological/biological function of the brain. Love does not exist in a sense that love is out there and we can capture it. Love is a by-product of the brain. Nothing more than that"We either give or we receive."
That is basically what you are saying, right?
By the way OP, now your opening looks more organized, now that looks inviting.
0
someguyz wrote...
Love is a neurological/biological function of the brain. Love does not exist in a sense that love is out there and we can capture it. Love is a by-product of the brain. Nothing more than thatYes love is very well a product of the brain, but our brain does not always let us make the decision of who or what we love.
And problem can also be when your "In love" and the other party moves on (IE: Moves away) and that loves still last you a become a empty hole in some cases.
My experience with "love" has put me into this zombie like state. I made the mistake of falling in love with my best friend, I saw her everyday, talked to her everyday, she was always there for me and visa/versa.. I finally confessed to her, and found out that she did share the same basic feelings.. But it was to late, she was moving in only a few weeks, and her father didn't want her dating and being raised in a very respectful family she listened to him..
That was about 2 years ago, I kept some contact with her, but not allot.. I found out last monday that she moved back to my area and I ran into her while out, didn't get to talk much, but got her new number..
My problem throughout all of this 3.5 years total is the fact that I cannot become attracted to other females, I can come to love any other girl, let alone quit loving her, or suppress my feelings for her in anyway..
I've been thru allot and I am very lonely, very often.. But whenever I find a girl, that clicks with me and I would like to become closer my brain won't let me, it just forces me to think about her....
Its kind of like a hell....
0
WHAT IS LOVE?
it is a question I had asked myself a million times… and in that million there is only one correct answer; Love simply is Love.
it’s definition varies because anyone who ever experienced love has different understanding of love… because at the moment they were in love… well you can’t exactly think straight when you’re in love… it is an amusing emotion… because it triggers the onslaught of all other emotions: Happiness, Joy, Pleasure, Contentment, seriousness, Anger, Jealousy, Pride and Pain…
Yes. Pain most people know that when you experience love you also will experience pain… it may seem dark or unfair however Pain is there to keep the balance…
Everything in this world has it’s opposites Good and Evil, Man and Woman, Day and Night, and Love and Hate… now where does pain fit in Love and hate?
Shouldn't pain be the opposite of love? My answer is no… because pain is not an opposite of love it is synonymous to love. it is the companion of love… and also for that matter it is also the companion of hate.
Why?
Because when you love someone truly, deeply and completely when circumstances arise that you begin to hate the one you love… you are in pain because it is impossible to hate the one you had love completely without experiencing pain.
-an excerpt from my article "Victims of Love" published and copyrighted in KATSA: The official Literary Folio of St. Paul University Philippines. 2011
it is a question I had asked myself a million times… and in that million there is only one correct answer; Love simply is Love.
it’s definition varies because anyone who ever experienced love has different understanding of love… because at the moment they were in love… well you can’t exactly think straight when you’re in love… it is an amusing emotion… because it triggers the onslaught of all other emotions: Happiness, Joy, Pleasure, Contentment, seriousness, Anger, Jealousy, Pride and Pain…
Yes. Pain most people know that when you experience love you also will experience pain… it may seem dark or unfair however Pain is there to keep the balance…
Everything in this world has it’s opposites Good and Evil, Man and Woman, Day and Night, and Love and Hate… now where does pain fit in Love and hate?
Shouldn't pain be the opposite of love? My answer is no… because pain is not an opposite of love it is synonymous to love. it is the companion of love… and also for that matter it is also the companion of hate.
Why?
Because when you love someone truly, deeply and completely when circumstances arise that you begin to hate the one you love… you are in pain because it is impossible to hate the one you had love completely without experiencing pain.
-an excerpt from my article "Victims of Love" published and copyrighted in KATSA: The official Literary Folio of St. Paul University Philippines. 2011
0
Data Zero
Valkyrie Forces CO
Love?
What is love?
A hormonal attraction, as my scientific part might say.
A Spiritual connection, as my beliver part will say.
I never figured it out.
A love will hit you when you least expect it. But what is love exactly?
Its something that i cannot put in the words, but its like a spiritual connection between 2 people, that can be made. You can reach out, but will he/her respond to your calls?
It can be an understanding, what we cannot understand yet.
A love can grant you strenght to save your loved one. Gives you courage to face the danger.
Love can be many things, but it never can be only 1 thing.
What is love?
A hormonal attraction, as my scientific part might say.
A Spiritual connection, as my beliver part will say.
I never figured it out.
A love will hit you when you least expect it. But what is love exactly?
Its something that i cannot put in the words, but its like a spiritual connection between 2 people, that can be made. You can reach out, but will he/her respond to your calls?
It can be an understanding, what we cannot understand yet.
A love can grant you strenght to save your loved one. Gives you courage to face the danger.
Love can be many things, but it never can be only 1 thing.
0
Love :
The meaning of that word is , A repeating action or act that you enjoy doing.
For everybody does it , knowing or unknowing. Not a behavior of the brain but of the " mind "
You do know what a " mind " is , right.
If you do , then you know " Love "
The meaning of that word is , A repeating action or act that you enjoy doing.
For everybody does it , knowing or unknowing. Not a behavior of the brain but of the " mind "
You do know what a " mind " is , right.
If you do , then you know " Love "
0
ShroomyFish wrote...
someguyz wrote...
Love is a neurological/biological function of the brain. Love does not exist in a sense that love is out there and we can capture it. Love is a by-product of the brain. Nothing more than thatYes love is very well a product of the brain, but our brain does not always let us make the decision of who or what we love.
And problem can also be when your "In love" and the other party moves on (IE: Moves away) and that loves still last you a become a empty hole in some cases.
My experience with "love" has put me into this zombie like state. I made the mistake of falling in love with my best friend, I saw her everyday, talked to her everyday, she was always there for me and visa/versa.. I finally confessed to her, and found out that she did share the same basic feelings.. But it was to late, she was moving in only a few weeks, and her father didn't want her dating and being raised in a very respectful family she listened to him..
That was about 2 years ago, I kept some contact with her, but not allot.. I found out last monday that she moved back to my area and I ran into her while out, didn't get to talk much, but got her new number..
My problem throughout all of this 3.5 years total is the fact that I cannot become attracted to other females, I can come to love any other girl, let alone quit loving her, or suppress my feelings for her in anyway..
I've been thru allot and I am very lonely, very often.. But whenever I find a girl, that clicks with me and I would like to become closer my brain won't let me, it just forces me to think about her....
Its kind of like a hell....
wow that brought literal tears to my eyes i know the feeling i have the same problem it truely is hell but your story triggered actual crying even though i have been practicly devoid of emotion for 5 years
0
ShroomyFish wrote...
someguyz wrote...
Love is a neurological/biological function of the brain. Love does not exist in a sense that love is out there and we can capture it. Love is a by-product of the brain. Nothing more than thatYes love is very well a product of the brain, but our brain does not always let us make the decision of who or what we love.
And problem can also be when your "In love" and the other party moves on (IE: Moves away) and that loves still last you a become a empty hole in some cases.
My experience with "love" has put me into this zombie like state. I made the mistake of falling in love with my best friend, I saw her everyday, talked to her everyday, she was always there for me and visa/versa.. I finally confessed to her, and found out that she did share the same basic feelings.. But it was to late, she was moving in only a few weeks, and her father didn't want her dating and being raised in a very respectful family she listened to him..
That was about 2 years ago, I kept some contact with her, but not allot.. I found out last monday that she moved back to my area and I ran into her while out, didn't get to talk much, but got her new number..
My problem throughout all of this 3.5 years total is the fact that I cannot become attracted to other females, I can come to love any other girl, let alone quit loving her, or suppress my feelings for her in anyway..
I've been thru allot and I am very lonely, very often.. But whenever I find a girl, that clicks with me and I would like to become closer my brain won't let me, it just forces me to think about her....
Its kind of like a hell....
thats great that she moved back in your area. i genuinely hope that everything works out and you guys can start dating. kinda funny coming from someone who's never felt love.
now on to the topic. unlike a lot of you i believe someone can be violent towards someone they love as twisted as it is. I believe that love cannot be clearly defined or explained. someone could love someone for any reason or no reason at all. I personally believe love is when your willing to do anything to make the person you care about more then anything happy. but thats just my view on love someone can have another view on what "love" is. as for my family i can't really say i love them. my family to me are still people i either hate them or like them. they have to prove to me there worth as much as anyone else.
0
Love is an emotion and emotions are expressed in different ways by different people. I believe that love itself is universal in its existence but not in its expression, hence if your were to think about how other people express love or how society has stereotyped how one should express love you yourself might doubt whether what they are feeling is indeed love or not.
But love is not buying chocolates on valenties day. Its sending her flowers just because its a wednesday.
But love is not buying chocolates on valenties day. Its sending her flowers just because its a wednesday.
