Regarding Living By Yourself.
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Firstly, this probably doesn't qualify as serious discussion for it is more a personal question. However, I really want intelligent answers from people with experience so that's why I posted it here.
Soon I will be moving away from home to live by myself near my university. This is the first time in my life that I will be living on my own for more than 2 weeks. I am feelings nervous and excited at the same time.
However, over the past few days I have begun to worry. I will be living in a house with 8 other people. What if I meet someone I can't get along with? What if I get caught up in some bad habit such as smoking or drugs? What if I am short on money? What if they invade on my privacy? etc.
Question: For those who are living on their own or have lived on their own. Am I being paranoid or do I have to prepare myself? Fortunately I had probably live on campus for semester 2.
Soon I will be moving away from home to live by myself near my university. This is the first time in my life that I will be living on my own for more than 2 weeks. I am feelings nervous and excited at the same time.
However, over the past few days I have begun to worry. I will be living in a house with 8 other people. What if I meet someone I can't get along with? What if I get caught up in some bad habit such as smoking or drugs? What if I am short on money? What if they invade on my privacy? etc.
Question: For those who are living on their own or have lived on their own. Am I being paranoid or do I have to prepare myself? Fortunately I had probably live on campus for semester 2.
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I won't call that paranoid. in fact you must prepare yourself. because you're now living on your own without control from older figures like parents, etc.
Prepare to do laundry, food by your own, prepare to take care of yourself if you somehow got sick, manage your own money. like that...
Prepare to do laundry, food by your own, prepare to take care of yourself if you somehow got sick, manage your own money. like that...
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mibuchiha
Fakku Elder
PrincessTristan wrote...
What if I meet someone I can't get along with? What if I get caught up in some bad habit such as smoking or drugs? What if I am short on money? What if they invade on my privacy? etc.Question: For those who are living on their own or have lived on their own. Am I being paranoid or do I have to prepare myself? Fortunately I had probably live on campus for semester 2.
Drill through it. Self-control. That's why money management is important. Again, drill through it.
I think it's an unnecessary worry, but I won't say you're paranoid. It's normal to worry, just don't let it get to you. And of course you have to prepare yourself...
That said, if things go bad, just ask people around you for help/guidance. I'd like to believe people aren't that heartless.
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PrincessTristan wrote...
However, over the past few days I have begun to worry. I will be living in a house with 8 other people. What if I meet someone I can't get along with? What if I get caught up in some bad habit such as smoking or drugs? What if I am short on money? What if they invade on my privacy? etc.
Question: For those who are living on their own or have lived on their own. Am I being paranoid or do I have to prepare myself? Fortunately I had probably live on campus for semester 2.
You're not paranoid, you're on the way to rationality.
I suggest screening all possible house-mates for compatibility. It's always best to move in with someone you already know otherwise, but if you're going to move in with entirely unknown people, ask them questions - compile a list of things you want to know. Then query their asses. Make sure they aren't impossible to get along with for you, or you won't be having much fun. Set down clear ground rules early on. Especially when it comes to money.
If you find out later on you don't get along with one of the house-mates, your best chance is to avoid them as much as possible. If they're doing drugs, call the cavalry. If you're short on money, pick up a job and learn to manage your assets better. If they invade on your privacy, flip a lid.
Living together with that many people is going to mean a lot of compromise, but you'll have to draw lines. When it comes to things that are vital, like your privacy or your property, don't take no shit. Make it clear to them that they can either conform to the rules or get the fuck out.
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In terms of house mates, chances are I won't ever see them until March (start of the semester).
It's sometimes hard for me to get along quickly with people and there are 8 strangers..... Well I guess there is always the chance that they feel the same as I do and had want to set ground rules about what's cool and what's not anyway.
What about food? I don't have the luxury of eating out all the time. I can't really cook or make anything elaborate (my best, edible, creation so far is a sandwich). Is this something that comes with practice or do you really have to put a lot of solid effort into it? Problem is that my course is a hard one and I highly doubt that I had have much time for anything besides studying.
It's sometimes hard for me to get along quickly with people and there are 8 strangers..... Well I guess there is always the chance that they feel the same as I do and had want to set ground rules about what's cool and what's not anyway.
What about food? I don't have the luxury of eating out all the time. I can't really cook or make anything elaborate (my best, edible, creation so far is a sandwich). Is this something that comes with practice or do you really have to put a lot of solid effort into it? Problem is that my course is a hard one and I highly doubt that I had have much time for anything besides studying.
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Gibbous pretty much said it all. Try to get to know them a little as fast as you can, preferably before you move in with them and set up clear ground rules.
As for food. Learning to cook pretty much comes from practice, but you should probably learn to at least make something edible and simple before moving out. Or you'll be in for a long time living on noodles or various fast-food. But meals such as pasta or omelettes is easy to learn, fast to cook and better than living of half-fabricates.
As for food. Learning to cook pretty much comes from practice, but you should probably learn to at least make something edible and simple before moving out. Or you'll be in for a long time living on noodles or various fast-food. But meals such as pasta or omelettes is easy to learn, fast to cook and better than living of half-fabricates.
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gibbous wrote...
Living together with that many people is going to mean a lot of compromise, but you'll have to draw lines. When it comes to things that are vital, like your privacy or your property, don't take no shit. Make it clear to them that they can either conform to the rules or get the fuck out.gibbous said a lot of great things, but I really want to point this out.
Don't let your roommates walk all over you. I assume you're not going to be the boss of everything, so you're not going to be able to throw people out if they do something wrong, but that doesn't mean that you have to put up with them infringing on your rights. If you all pay the same amount of money, then you all deserve to be equal. I say this because you seem meek (which isn't a bad thing), but don't let them dump things on you. Either everyone should handle their own stuff or the duties should be doled out equally. For example, one person shouldn't be forced to do all of the laundry and cleaning.
Also, when it comes to food, make it known that your food is your own, not everybody's. My brother lived with some friends about a year ago or so, and they would eat anything they found, regardless of who bought it. If they opened the fridge and saw some cheese, they'd take it, without bothering to wonder who bought it. Don't let them do that to you. Don't be an asshole about it - just be firm and confident. If they keep doing it, then be an asshole. Like I said, as long as everybody pays an equal share of rent, you are all on an equal level.
That said, these are just possibilities. It is entirely possible that you'll get along just fine with your roommates, and there will be no trouble at all. I hope that ends up being the case. But if it isn't, you need to be prepared to stand up for yourself. You're not getting a free ride; you're paying money just like they are. No roommate has the right to take advantage of another.
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Thanks for all the replies thus far. A lot of food for thought. I will wait to see if I get any more replies.
In the mean time let's hope I can, somehow, get my own harem.
In the mean time let's hope I can, somehow, get my own harem.
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Actually, me and 3 of my buddies are looking for a place to stay in. Somewhat like a bachelor pad.
Here's the thing, if you have been living a life pampered by your parents, its good to live by yourself for once to know how to be responsible for yourself, like learning to cook, wash clothes, and house cleaning.
Another thing is without your parents/guardians, there will be no more of those misunderstandings and nagging (like when I came home one night after drinking a few, my parents accused my of being a drunkard, a drug addict, and a fornicative maniac, while I only drink a few times a week, lights only, smoke only mid cigarettes, and am still an 18 year old virgin).
A good tip is also looking for a place with neighbors you can relate with. The most recent place we checked out was an apartment with fellow otakus and cosplayers in there with some chicks in the nearby rooms (hell yeah!)
In conclusion, its mandatory for a person to live independently sometime in their lives.
Here's the thing, if you have been living a life pampered by your parents, its good to live by yourself for once to know how to be responsible for yourself, like learning to cook, wash clothes, and house cleaning.
Another thing is without your parents/guardians, there will be no more of those misunderstandings and nagging (like when I came home one night after drinking a few, my parents accused my of being a drunkard, a drug addict, and a fornicative maniac, while I only drink a few times a week, lights only, smoke only mid cigarettes, and am still an 18 year old virgin).
A good tip is also looking for a place with neighbors you can relate with. The most recent place we checked out was an apartment with fellow otakus and cosplayers in there with some chicks in the nearby rooms (hell yeah!)
In conclusion, its mandatory for a person to live independently sometime in their lives.
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It will be "interesting" living with fellow otakus. I will probably find some when I join my Uni's anime club.
I don't really know the neighbourhood (after all I am moving to a new state altogether) and the property is chosen mostly due to cheap rent and close to University and transports.
I guess if it gets too hard to live with the other people in the house then I had just sleep in campus (literally on the bench on campus).
I don't really know the neighbourhood (after all I am moving to a new state altogether) and the property is chosen mostly due to cheap rent and close to University and transports.
I guess if it gets too hard to live with the other people in the house then I had just sleep in campus (literally on the bench on campus).
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PrincessTristan wrote...
I guess if it gets too hard to live with the other people in the house then I had just sleep in campus (literally on the bench on campus).Well first off, I don't suggest that. You won't get a very restful sleep and someone could come by and steal something from you.
Before you leave you should practice cooking a little bit so you won't have to live off of ramen or fast food. Cooking isn't that hard and only takes some practice before you get it down.
Since you're going to go live with 8 other people, you need to make sure they don't walk all over you. Don't let them eat the food you buy or use your stuff without permission, and don't let them make you do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. If they slip up and do something that irks you, start off by kindly asking them not to do it again. If they repeat it then be firmer with them.
If they start eating all the food you buy and won't stop, then stop buying food for the house, and only buy when you're hungry, or hide your food.
Other than that, just try to make friends with everyone there and keep from making enemies (it sucks to live with someone you hate).
As long as you're kind and curteous, but don't let them boss you around then you should be fine.
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Yeah food....... I like food and I would hate to have someone take them from me.
Another question. The only part time work I ever did was a bit of teaching at my old high school and some volunteering activities. What kind of part time work have people done in the past? I am sort of more doing this for the experience (but money is nice too). I mean ideally I had work at some sort of game shop .... but in case that doesn't work out what kind of work do people find more enjoyable?
Another question. The only part time work I ever did was a bit of teaching at my old high school and some volunteering activities. What kind of part time work have people done in the past? I am sort of more doing this for the experience (but money is nice too). I mean ideally I had work at some sort of game shop .... but in case that doesn't work out what kind of work do people find more enjoyable?
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Brittany
FAKKU Production Mngr
I moved over 700 miles away from home (737 miles exactly) to live on my own for college. I moved in with someone I had recently met, 3 times exactly, and I've been here for almost a year (on May 17th).
Roommates are a bit different than my case, however.
In any case, it's just something you have to take a deep breath and step forward with. If you don't take the step, nothing changes and you move no where closer to your goals in life. If you do take the step, you're moving forward and possibly achieve everything you've worked for.
I wish you luck! (And yes, I'm doing fine :) )
Roommates are a bit different than my case, however.
In any case, it's just something you have to take a deep breath and step forward with. If you don't take the step, nothing changes and you move no where closer to your goals in life. If you do take the step, you're moving forward and possibly achieve everything you've worked for.
I wish you luck! (And yes, I'm doing fine :) )
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From my experience, living in a house full of people is great. You won't get bored. If it's less than five, it gets personal and claustrophobic, but more than five is usually a party. There've been times where we've nearly killed each other over stupid stuff, but I live by one golden rule. It has served me pretty well, and because of it, I still know my house mates even though we've already graduated: say what's on your mind. Don't be a fuckin' tool and bottle it all up.
People will learn to trust and respect you if you're open, and getting to know them and having them getting to know you will be a lot easier. Say what's on your mind even if what you say offends them. I am assuming you are a reasonable person who won't simply mouth off to get a rise out of somebody. Though, I had someone like that in the house and him and I are close friends still. Even someone offensive like him is better to be with than someone who keeps it all inside and finds other ways of releasing their frustration.
Clean up after yourself. Set rules but only for yourself and treat others like responsible adults who also make rules for themselves, so that when war rages on, you could say you did your part in keeping things clean and orderly. Pitch in, but not too much.
And for the love of all that is good and fuckable, keep the fuckin' bathrooms clean.
People will learn to trust and respect you if you're open, and getting to know them and having them getting to know you will be a lot easier. Say what's on your mind even if what you say offends them. I am assuming you are a reasonable person who won't simply mouth off to get a rise out of somebody. Though, I had someone like that in the house and him and I are close friends still. Even someone offensive like him is better to be with than someone who keeps it all inside and finds other ways of releasing their frustration.
Clean up after yourself. Set rules but only for yourself and treat others like responsible adults who also make rules for themselves, so that when war rages on, you could say you did your part in keeping things clean and orderly. Pitch in, but not too much.
And for the love of all that is good and fuckable, keep the fuckin' bathrooms clean.
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PrincessTristan wrote...
What about food? I don't have the luxury of eating out all the time. I can't really cook or make anything elaborate (my best, edible, creation so far is a sandwich). Is this something that comes with practice or do you really have to put a lot of solid effort into it? Problem is that my course is a hard one and I highly doubt that I had have much time for anything besides studying.Cooking isn't hard. Start out with simple dishes. Move up to more complex things as you begin to get a knack for it.
It takes more effort to be an outstanding cook, less effort to be an acceptable cook.
Really, not something to pull out your hair about.
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Yeah I am not planning on becoming an Iron Chef just yet. I have been getting my hands on a bit of cooking recently. I think I can do the basics so it's probably just a matter of practice at the moment.
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I've lived by myself/with roommates for a span of about five years through college so I'll share with some of the things I experienced/found helpful and hope they'll help you too. One question though. Will you have your own room or will you have to share with another/others?
Having to share a room with another person just means less privacy and you have to deal with them more.
What if I meet someone I can't get along with?
First, you should do everything to work it out with that person. Talk to them. Chances are, they are feeling as anxious or worried or afraid as you are. Don't judge. Get to know them first.
If you have a roommate (one who lives in the same room as you) with whom you can't along, then you can ask your resident adviser to move you. I didn't have such an experience but my RA was pretty understanding and helped some resolve those kinds of issues.
If you have your own room and just sharing a house but cannot tolerate the other, you have your own room to get away from that. You can always move out the next year.
What if I get caught up in some bad habit such as smoking or drugs?
If you see any signs that they are of that crowd, stay away. It's not worth the hassle, the trouble, and the potential of getting kicked out of school. Also, stay in touch with your close friends and confer to them with any and all questions. They're more understanding than you may think and will help steer you on the better path.
Make friends with the nerds.
What if I am short on money?
Money is a tough issue for college students. A few solutions may be:
-Apply for scholarships/grants/loans. These range anywhere between 100 - a full ride. Just depends on the criteria they're offered.
-Get a job. I did this. Most college employers understand the student situation so they'll offer some kind of flexibility. Choose one that fits your schedule and the one that you like the most. LOOK FOR THEM THE MOMENT YOU GET THERE. THEY ARE IN HIGH DEMAND.
-If all else fails, beg mommy and daddy.
What if they invade on my privacy? etc.
Establish the importance of privacy early. Most likely, the others will feel the same way. If they invade your privacy for the first time like wearing your favorite shirt without asking your first, try to be understanding and calm and explain to them that that ain't cool. Not cool bro. That's my fav. shirt!
If it's something more severe and cannot be resolved by yourself, talk to your housing authority or resident adviser or whoever takes care of housing at your school. Your privacy is your right. Don't stay silent.
Question: For those who are living on their own or have lived on their own. Am I being paranoid or do I have to prepare myself? Fortunately I had probably live on campus for semester 2
It's normal to feel anxious and a little pressured as the time nears. Don't panic. You're going on an amazing journey so enjoy it.
Having to share a room with another person just means less privacy and you have to deal with them more.
What if I meet someone I can't get along with?
First, you should do everything to work it out with that person. Talk to them. Chances are, they are feeling as anxious or worried or afraid as you are. Don't judge. Get to know them first.
If you have a roommate (one who lives in the same room as you) with whom you can't along, then you can ask your resident adviser to move you. I didn't have such an experience but my RA was pretty understanding and helped some resolve those kinds of issues.
If you have your own room and just sharing a house but cannot tolerate the other, you have your own room to get away from that. You can always move out the next year.
What if I get caught up in some bad habit such as smoking or drugs?
If you see any signs that they are of that crowd, stay away. It's not worth the hassle, the trouble, and the potential of getting kicked out of school. Also, stay in touch with your close friends and confer to them with any and all questions. They're more understanding than you may think and will help steer you on the better path.
Make friends with the nerds.
What if I am short on money?
Money is a tough issue for college students. A few solutions may be:
-Apply for scholarships/grants/loans. These range anywhere between 100 - a full ride. Just depends on the criteria they're offered.
-Get a job. I did this. Most college employers understand the student situation so they'll offer some kind of flexibility. Choose one that fits your schedule and the one that you like the most. LOOK FOR THEM THE MOMENT YOU GET THERE. THEY ARE IN HIGH DEMAND.
-If all else fails, beg mommy and daddy.
What if they invade on my privacy? etc.
Establish the importance of privacy early. Most likely, the others will feel the same way. If they invade your privacy for the first time like wearing your favorite shirt without asking your first, try to be understanding and calm and explain to them that that ain't cool. Not cool bro. That's my fav. shirt!
If it's something more severe and cannot be resolved by yourself, talk to your housing authority or resident adviser or whoever takes care of housing at your school. Your privacy is your right. Don't stay silent.
Question: For those who are living on their own or have lived on their own. Am I being paranoid or do I have to prepare myself? Fortunately I had probably live on campus for semester 2
It's normal to feel anxious and a little pressured as the time nears. Don't panic. You're going on an amazing journey so enjoy it.
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Thanks for the reply.
I will be living in a room by myself and possibly move to on-campus accommodation next year. It's a long degree (6 years) but I will need to live by myself sooner or later anyway.
Everything is mostly settled now.
In terms of money I will see what I can do after Uni officially starts. I am going to try and apply for academic scholarships next year though. My parents are helping me out at the moment until my life is more settled/stable.
Only two other live in the house at the moment and they are quite nice. After all we are all students with similar anxieties etc. Except they are a few years older than me.
I will be living in a room by myself and possibly move to on-campus accommodation next year. It's a long degree (6 years) but I will need to live by myself sooner or later anyway.
Everything is mostly settled now.
In terms of money I will see what I can do after Uni officially starts. I am going to try and apply for academic scholarships next year though. My parents are helping me out at the moment until my life is more settled/stable.
Only two other live in the house at the moment and they are quite nice. After all we are all students with similar anxieties etc. Except they are a few years older than me.