[Summer Contest Entry 2012] The Angel’s Wife is an Immortal

KING/SOUL
Extra Episode 1: The Angel’s Wife is a Chinese Immortal?! Summer heat and headaches bloom!

I hear love is a strange thing. That most of the time it just happens. Love at first sight, or the AC/DC version, Love at first feel. That did not happen with us. When my wife and I first met all those centuries ago in China, a few years before the Han Dynasty began its downward spiral and that Yellow Turban Rebellion began…It was love at first punch. It was not two star crossed lovers meeting for the first time, but two warriors testing the skills of the other. Her name was Mingyu, and she was, and still is the strongest warrior I have ever known. She was more gorgeous than most goddesses.
It was the most fun we had till that point.

Shortly after I was taken in by her teacher, the now unknown Cao Guo. The man was a martial arts genius, and as I would find out later, one of the eight immortals. He was the great grandfather of the warlord Cao Cao. A man history would paint a villain. But, that is not important right now.
Mingyu and I trained together, ate together and eventually, loved together. Our love was a strong torrent that we could not control. Oh, we tried, of course, to control our love for each other in the face of public dignity. But it was useless in the end. We soon married and had our first son, Fei Hong.

It was a year after our son was born that he came. The man who would change our lives. His name was Liu Bei. He had two others with him, Guan Yu and Zang Fei, his two oath brothers. The man had a benevolence I had never seen before. The things he was suggesting….They were revolutionary. He literally was suggesting a Democratic –Republic in 184 AD! He had come to ask our master for his aid in repelling the Yellow Turbans. Cao Guo, of course declined. He was sick of war, and only wish to live in peace.

But Mingyu and I…Oh we were so young then…well she was. I had lost any memory of me being an angel after Lucifer threw me out of heaven during his own damn rebellion….Anyway, My wife and I wanted to fight the Yellow Turbans. Cao Guo was against it, of course, but we convinced him. We wanted to test our skills in the mist of battle.

He conceded with one condition; Mingyu had to drink his Elixir. He revealed to us that night that he was immortal. He was tasked with finding one willing enough to give another elixir to. He knew it was Mingyu, but he wanted to wait a little longer. There was a price for this gift, though. The elixir destroyed any chance of her ever having another child. To this day I do not know how it worked.
Mingyu accepted it anyway. The pain she experienced that night was shocking. I kept by her side the whole night, as did our son. My wife was strong. Even the greatest agonies in the world could not kill her. She fought through the pain and came out of it immortal. She was going to be 25 for the rest of her life.

I..am going to skip over the whole war. My son’s death is not something I wish to relive. Just know that we fought under Liu Bei and for his Kingdom of Shu. Our son was 17 when Lu Bu cut him down….Mingyu and I still grieve for him to this day.
-
July 11, 2013
Mingyu was tied up and against the stone wall in some sewer in Washington DC. She had a look of pure disdain on her gorgeous face. Before her was a rather…ok I have no pretty words for him. He was a crazy vampire. Where was I? Why was I not there saving my beloved from this evil beast? Well I was hanging back, watching from a dozen yards away. Trust me, my wife does not need anyone to save her.

It had been a long, headache inducing case involving a few dead women. My agency, King/Sword, (That’s Supernatural Warriors Operations Recon and Defense. We wanted to get that acronym just right.), was called in because the deaths were odd. It took us about one second to figure out it was a vampire. The neck marks kind of gave it away. That was not when the headache came in. That came when searching for the crazy fucker. In the process of looking for him, we came upon bombs scattered across the city. Mingyu and I formed a plan to lure him out and to yap about his own plans.

Back in the sewer, the crazy vamp was ranting about how he was going to destroy the city. Out plan worked perfectly, if I do say so myself. I sighed, wiped the sweat from my forehead and combed my blonde hair back at the same time as I readied a ten dollar bill before walking out.

“That sounds fun, sparkles, but I am afraid we are gonna have to stop you right there” I said, a smile grin on my face.
Sparkles had a look of shock and fury on his face. I savored it while it lasted. I also added, “And fear not, young damsel! I shall save you from the clutches of this vile monster!”
Mingyu rolled her eyes as she stood up, the ropes that bonded her falling around her. See? She could get out whenever she wanted.
“I love you, husband mine, but sometimes you are such a ham” ,She said, a small smile growing across her lovely face.

I raised my hand in an “after you” gesture. She nodded, cracked a few knuckles and grinned. Sparkles did not even see the hit coming. In a quick set of movements, Mingyu had Sparkles on the ground gasping for air with a crushed windpipe. He would heal, yes, but not as long as he had iron around his throat. I handed Mingyu a length of chain and she promptly put it around Sparkle’s neck. She then handcuffed him to a steel ladder nearby.

“Let Marcus take him in” She sighed as she stood up. “I am exhausted.”
I nodded and handed her the ten bucks, “Well at least you won the bet! How was I to know that Sparkles would reveal his dastardly plan like a Saturday Morning Cartoon villain?”
Mingyu chuckled, “And that is why you well always lose, husband mine.”
With that, we climbed up the ladder into the hot summer streets of the Nation’s Capital.
“Boss! You there?!”, a voice buzzed from my ear-set.
“Cinia Pacifica.” I sighed, “Let Marcus know he has a vampire in the sewers under Eastern Ave. Oh and let Liu know the Rouge Vampire has been taken care of.” I looked at Mingyu and smiled. “And Mingyu and I are going our two weeks’ vacation. “
-
The sun warmed the Pacific sands on the empty Hawaiian beach. Ah the perks of a government employee. I stood on a towel with a pair of swim trunks on, my toned, scarred torso shown to all. I looked behind me and found my beloved smiling at me. She wore a lovely two piece swimsuit that showed off her goddess of a figure.
“It is a good thing we are alone here. I would hate to share this view with another woman.”
I grinned and lay with her, placing a tender kiss upon her soft lips. “It is a good thing we or alone. I would hate to make others watch.”

Under that hot summer sun, we made love. The summer is a time to show all how good the world can get. The heat lets us know we are alive. The sweet scents of thousands of blooming flowers tells us the world is a wonderful place. The embrace of your lover lets you know you are not alone. You are never alone.
By the Gods above and below, I love summer.

Interesting read. I'm curious for the other episodes~~ If you're planning to release more, I will read everyone of them!

Thanks! It seems the Summer writing contest sparked my muse again. I will probably write more episodes soon.

So why did you not take permission from me in regards about using my username for your entry?

I am monitoring this thread.

There were some errors but they all seemed to be caused by inattention. So, overall, it is a good piece. I liked reading it and laughing at the jokes. Still, I do feel it is a work that needs more chapters to draw out its full potential so, maybe not really the best for such a contest.

Also, I loved the Sword acronym ^^

I am sorry. That was rather rude of me wasn't it? I do not know anyone here on the forums so I used yours. I am sorry for not asking first

Thank you very much. Actually King/Soul is a story I have been working on for about eight years now. It slowly evolved from one novel into a collection of them, so yeah not really great for a contest, but hell When I think of romance, the first characters I think of are my main and his wife so I used them.

You didn't follow our instructions. We had mentioned that you'll have to take permission before jumping onto using another user's username. It's not like I hate it that my name is being used. So, I'll let you off the hook this time.

I had a feeling that was it but, eight years o_o Makes me wanna read it all... *eyes-sparkling*

To be honest I have no clue why I did not remember that part of the rule. I will make sure it never happens again

Yeah it is a long time in the making, and still sort of is in the making. A lot of kicks to iron out and such.

Critiquing,

Reading the first chapter is a goof experience, honestly. I kind of loved the ancient Chinese tale, but I would’ve called it “prologue”, since the following chapters (from the July 13, 2011), I guess, will be in the present (though 2011 is not present, it is quite present for me as to compare to the first part of the story). Also, I think I liked the first chapter so much that I hated the second one. I don’t like the idea putting a Vampire in a tale you once started as Chinese legend. (Imagine Chun Li appearing in Twilight). I also don’t like the fast changes in the setting, from China to Washington then to… Hawaii. I don’t know. It just felt awkward. (All of these are just my opinion, still.)

Anyway, I think I just have to agree with SIGHING that this is not for a contest. It would be good for a chapter-by-chapter read, though. A series, that is.

Still, I can see a promise in this and like ANTWON, I’ll be considering this thread occasionally.

Please don't double post for quoting more than one users, it's against the rules. Edit and merge the contents of the both the posts on the first one, then delete the second post please.

Thanks for the critique. Yeah I was namely trying to keep it in the 1500 word limit while also adding all the themes. Really the first part is just the origins of how Sean and Mingyu met. The next part is them during the modern timeline of King/Soul. True it is a little jumbled, but I still tried to keep the supernatural focus in both parts.
And honestly, Chun Li and Twilight would have made Twilight better.
Anyway, you will bet I will keep writing King/Soul both the main stories and the origin stories.

And honestly, Chun Li and Twilight would have made Twilight better.
quote]

Seriously? o.O

Yes. At least if she was in it, Twilight would have a female character who is tough and kicks ass.