[2Roads 2014] Never

- N E V E R -

- Never reaching you -
Since long ago, I knew I was different from other girls. Everything around me would always be bright and colourful. Everyone would show me love and care deeply about my well-being. My body was weak and I was therefore never allowed to go outside.
Every night I would stare out of my window and wish upon a shooting star for something better to come. I would live every day the same and despite me being loved by everyone I would still find myself crying alone in my room. For years, I would walk around with this empty feeling and the more I felt like a bird in a cage the more I wanted to end my own miseries. However, one day all that changed.

One night he suddenly stood there. I clearly remember. I could see him from my window and the only light brightening him in the dark would be that from the moonlight and the sparkling stars. His hair was dark as raven feathers blowing in the wind. The shine from the moon made it look like rubies sparkling for attention. (What looked like rubies sparkling for attention? His eyes? His hair? It's unclear.) He was tall and rather thin yet something about him seemed very masculine. I was fascinated and drawn in by him. He was mysterious and my curiosity craved get to know him. (Or 'to get to know him.')

I would always look forward to seeing him again. I would try black dresses which reminded me of his hair just to see them change into bright, coloured, frilly dresses. I wanted to learn to sing to make my voice reach him yet no matter how long I practised, I could never hit a tone. I would learn how to write and learnt how to madke paper planes in hope that my feelings would reach him, yet for some reason the wind would always take my letters farther away. I would start imagine him being next to me., Hhis tall body bending down to stroke my cheek gently with his bony hands. I would start imagine how it would be, spending time with him walking in the moonlight, holding hands and laughing. I would imagine him taking my hand, kissing it and asking for a dance,. Llater to be embraced by him. He would take me somewhere far far away where no one could reach us.

For each day, my desire and love for him would grow. Day after day, I would sit by the window hoping for another chance to get closer. There were words I had wanted to tell him the most yet I feared they might never reach him.


- Never letting go -
Being unwanted was something I was more than used to., Nno matter what kind of genius I was or how well I would clear their orders (What does this mean 'clear their orders?'). Getting the smallest praise or compliment would always be wishful thinking. My entire world was dark and surrounded by the emptiness left behind from those who had regrets. I was always left alone, not a single soul dared to get close to me. Nevertheless how gloomy my entire existence might have been. I enjoyed what I had and wouldn't let other’s prejudgices or voices bother me. I was used to being alone and for me the loneliness were was more a fellow than an enemy. The daytime was bright and lively. It was filled with hope and dreams., Ssomething I usually never would be allowed to touch. The more everything shone the more I wanted to touch it and my curiosity would eventually take over.

I went into the light and for a second it felt like everything was burning. My vision was blurry and everything around me seemed like it would do me harm. Eventually I found a way I could move freely and I would hide in the shadows. I wandered the world to see different things. However, I would always return to that special place., Tthe place where she belonged.

She shone brighter than the sun and her smile could cure any disease and heal any wound. Never had I seen someone like her. Her hair was long and curly. It looked softer than any other thing I could imagine. The flowers in her hair almost grew with the hair it, and without her, they would wither. The animals would gather around her and all the living would bloom anew. It was as if without her existence the world would rot away and turn into nothing. Even just by watching her from a(No space necessary separating these two. 'afar' suffices.)far, I too started to desire her. Her entire existence mesmerized me and the more I was observing her the more I wanted her to be mine.

I wanted her more than anything, I wanted her to be mine alone. The lLoneliness who has always been by my side and I was so used to got (Consider 'being' or 'getting.') replaced with an uncomfortable and unfamiliar feeling of despair. The despair would haunt me wherever I went and before I knew it, I could never return to the feeling of being alone. Everything would remind me of her.: The flowers in the fields, the animals in the forests, the colourful sky and the bright light of day. There was nothing I wished for more than being by her side. I decided to learn about her by exploring her world, but every time I would touch something, the brightness would fade and darkness would fall from the sky. In the end I would always return to her place surrounded by darkness.

I knew for each day more darkness would gather and things around me would fade. But these feelings for her never changed. It was as if no matter what I did, they would still shine brightly. The only light in my world, which would not fade (Which was the only light? Her or his feelings for her? A small difference, but it's unclear.). These feelings toward her, even if everything else disappeared I will never let them go.

- Never ending feelings –
He was someone she would never reach and for him she was something he never wanted to let go. They had never spoken a single word together nor had their eyes ever met., Yyet for some reason they attracted each other. Drawn and overtaken by their curiosity and drowned in their desire for what they could not have, the mutual feelings erupted. What they never could have which they saw in each other slowly turned into an endless love and their love was endless. It never faded even once and only grew stronger for each day. However, being who they were, they were never allowed to meet. She knew she would never be free, and he knew that his freedom would taint everything. If she were the sun, he would be the moon. They were the completely opposite of each other. Being apart was what balanced the harmony in the world.

Every day they would endure the pain they both kept so close, to never forget the one they loved. Her bright world could never let any darkness in and his dark world would never leave any brightness alone. They were worlds apart and nothing in the entire universe could ever bring them together. When they were close, they would still be apart. Even as time went by, nothing would change. They could never get farther or closer.
Despite the feelings that they share are mutual, their feelings will never reach each other. Never will her efforts reach into the darkness and never will his darkness shine in the light. I know this will never change. The oOne cannot live without the other. They cannot live with each other and they cannot live without each other. (Just a longer version of the previous sentence, but I can imagine the artistic flow.) They are fated to chase each other in for all eternity. I have been watching them for as long as I remember. No matter how much it pains me; there is nothing I can do. Time cannot and must never interfere with their relationship. Bbecause they are Life and Death. And I will keep observing them, their memories, and their never ending feelings for I am Time.

- E N D -