dictionary.com wrote...
Aphorism:
1. A tersely phrased statement of a truth or opinion; an adage.
2.A brief statement of a principle.
I'll be writing these at least once per day. I'll add the dates I put them up too, if I can.
I'll also put up things that I've wrote before that seem to fit the thoughts I will plant here. Let's hope they grow into a beautiful flower. Or a tree at least. Lol.
I suppose the most recent thought will be put into my sig?
Here goes. (Do excuse me for the random format of my thoughts. I tweeted them all on Twitter, so they're a bit... off or odd, you might say)
Feb 28th 2010
I... am looking forward to the future. It seems that there's more than meets the eye in the future, as well as in the past and the present.
This isn't a matter of who I like better, but this is a matter of which picture portrays my heart and mind more accurately.
(On which desktop background to use)
I still feel quite like I'm on... On a knowledge roll! There goes my hunger for knowledge!~
In the movie, Percy Jackson and The Olympians, there was a part where Percy decided to ignore what people said and did things on instinct.
If it were me, I wouldn't ignore what the people said, and stayed and trained instead of going off on my own.
Makes me wonder if I should rely on my instinct a bit more than I do my mind.
So, with that, (referring to relying on instinct sometimes instead of mind) I am wondering how to make myself better.
If I feel like doing something that goes against regulations put up by someone else, should I do it? It depends on what I do, right?
Unlike Percy Jackson, I am not a demigod nor do I have awesome skills. I can't save the world like he did. How should I rely on my instinct?
What examples can be used for this? This "relying on instinct" idea. Is it a beastly nature we're reverting to or just belief in the heart?
Oh my... It really is hard to learn how to be yourself. I guess it means I'm going to need to work even harder from now on.
Conversations can cause stress, but they can also produce unexpected results. I'm sure that they aren't all useless.
Hm.. I've always wondered what would be better for me, being normal or special? Can I be one of the heroes or only the background character?
Ah, whatever. Up till now, I've always considered myself as a "background character". But I want to be one of the heroes someday
That is, of course, if I choose to live my life doing things that are right, which also agree with my heart and mind and will help others.
Ah, now I'm even more confused about the whole "Instinct" Vs. "Intellect" thing. Which one am I supposed to follow? And when do I do it?
I just remembered something nostalgic. As a kid I used to fall asleep early, listening to the sounds of people playing cards. I miss that.
I guess it's just another way for me to have a connection with something from the past. It's not necessarily bad, but it is a deep bond.
Pain can be a good thing, huh? The pain of losing something to be able to let go. The pain of being hurt to fight for a belief. It's nice.
I have the bad habit of giving things up after involving myself with it obsessively. And I don't continue 'cause I get tired of it.
I also have the habit of getting bored easily. But that's my fault. Or rather, it's like I don't want to do anything and can only complain.
Also, I don't think I have much common sense. People tell me that all the time, and I believe it, but not because of their words.
I've realized it myself. That I can't do things without help or a reference. I don't know much about the world.
But I try to learn. Learning is essential to do anything. Just like you have to learn how to walk to be able to go places.
I'm a bit confused on what instinct is. I've seen that word so many times these past weeks. "Instinct".
Of course I can search it up, but I've never really followed my instinct. And no one has told me "This is your instinct, it's natural".
So I don't know. I can't figure it out on my own. It bothers me that I can't do much with my own hands and feet. But my heart is strong
But sometimes having a strong heart doesn't work out well, 'cause you get ahead of yourself.
But sometimes getting ahead of yourself is good, because you feel confident. But then again, "too much show, not enough go".
I'm indecisive most of the time. I don't know what to choose and my options have different uses for me. I end up choosing nothing.
When I choose I think: Can this be used in the future? Still, it's hard to resist the temptation of something that can only be chosen once.
An example would be if you were at a random store. They sell candies and toys. Your parent demands that you only choose one.
There's a candy that looks oh-so-delicious, but it won't last long. Then there's a toy that looks only a bit fun, but it lasts longer.
Which do you choose? The delicious candy that will only occupy a small amount of time or the boring toy that lasts for a longer time?
Some say it's okay to indulge in things for a small while, others say you should think of the future w/ outcomes. Naturally, I can't choose.
Like my Twitter background, I always feel as if I am drowning. Do I like the water? Do I hate the fish in it?
My mind is almost always blank and all I can do is know that whatever is there, is there. I question things but it's hard to find answers
Sometimes I befriend the fish in the water, but I know that I don't really have a certain attachment to them. Afterall, I'm almost mindless.
It kind of feels like I've been put into an environment and have to decide how things will work. But I don't know how to decide.
Will the path go forward? Will it make a turn? How is the plot turning out? Should I change this? How about this? It feels odd.
The fishes come to me sometimes. I don't know what to do with them. So I just let them do as they like.
It feels like I am distracting myself and I know it. But I don't know why I am distracting myself from the truth
It seems as if there are blindfolds over my eyes, my ears can't hear, I can't touch things, and my taste buds are tasteless. I know nothing.
Different smells go by, but I do not know what they are. Sometimes I get a strong smell that hurts my nose or light smells that just fade.
There are some smells that make my eyes sting while other smells make my mouth drool.
I realize that I'm not tasteless. I taste with another sense too. I'm amazed. "Wow, did that really happen?"
Something is put into my mouth. It's creamy and soft. Oh. I can feel it on my tongue. "I can touch things too? Not just with one sense."
So now I've realized that not only can I smell, but I can taste and touch things too.
I realize that something feels wet. I move my hand back and forth and notice it's a liquid. The shape can't be determined. I see it. Water.
The blindfolds are off. I can see, smell, taste, and touch.
A new scene brings itself into my path. There's water falling. There's mist at the bottom too. I hear this splashing sound. Oh. I can hear.
Now I have all 5 of my senses: sight, smell, touch, taste, and hearing.
How did I know they were senses? Something in me just said that they were senses. Or maybe it wasn't in me, maybe it was outside? Nature.
Now the question that pops into my mind is: Did nature make me, or did I make nature appear before me? What rules us both? How do we live?
Well I'm getting to bed. Good night. Deep thoughts in a chain that confuses others. Amazing isn't it? What the mind can do. "Instinct".
Later that early morning...
(Still Mar 9th)
It sounds mean or cruel, but a new reaction is a new side to the person. If they show any reaction to you, they find you special.
And everyone likes to be pampered by feeling special sometimes. It also reassures that the person cares about you. It's a nice feeling.
'Cause you get caught up in things and forget that there's someone who cares about you. You notice it and feel happy that someone cares.
I've realized that I've already lost all will to punch someone in the face. Back in the old days, I used to beat people up without thinking.
I guess you could say I relied only on instinct that time. It was unrefined instinct though. It was almost like the instinct to kill.
Though I never have mentioned this to anyone before. The "me" now seems impossible compared to the "me" from before.
I'm glad that I've changed, because I've learned things about life. But I've got to say, I do miss the urge to beat a person up sometimes.
In the old days, I had a backbone made of hay. I wasn't that strong but I could get angry and release my anger violently, in a way I wanted.
Now I have no backbone at all. I'm working on building one out of stone. It'll be hard when it needs to be, but can protect others also.
I kind of let myself go. It was fun, doing things and not being restrained. I showed proper decorum, but I was also being myself. I'm happy.
I don't get along well with people, it's another bad habit. I'm either too loose or too tense with them. I'm working on improving it.
Later that evening...
(Still Mar 11th)
Working on my project for the art competition. GANBATTE!
Ah... Before, I wasn't sure if I was serious about the project, the content of it anyway. But now I'm sure I'm serious.
That's because nothing else can make me feel this way. To make my heart wrench in pain, happiness, and loneliness. Only my past can do that.
Agh. I'm nearly in tears from drawing my past. It feels like I'm drowning... But I'm still going to continue working on it.
Seems like attacking a part of my past at the moment is the hardest thing I've done in my life so far. It hurts. My watering eyes.
When I think that the pain is starting to dissipate, it suddenly becomes overwhelming. I need to calm down. I'm going to take a shower.
Oh I thought of a nice aphorism. "Life is like a test, it's up to you to decide whether you fail or not, because you're the one grading it."
My aunt told me when I was a kid, "Pain makes pain better". It's stuck to me ever since.
Later that evening...
(Still Mar 14th)
I feel a bit angry for some reason. I don't know why. No I lied. I do know why. The thing is, will I actually try to fix it?
I feel like randomly doing things and not caring. I guess this is what they mean by "savage" or when people get swept away by emotions.
Today's aphorism... Hmm... Aphorism is a funny word, lol... Well what should I do?
Ah! How about: Things come in all shapes and sizes, it's up to you to determine whether or not you are a normal shape or a unique one.
Nah... It's too closely-related to my other aphorism. The one about tests and what not.
Hm...
OH! "There are different meanings of "special" and "normal", yet one doesn't really know what his/her ideas of both are until they search."
NO NO NO. Too... meh.
Gonna search through one of my old literary works. Maybe I'll find something useful and helpful. >.>
Ah, I found a good one from when I took down notes and collected my thoughts while watching Jigoku Shoujo.
It's my own quote, I'm darn proud of it.
There’s no cheating or shortcuts in life. A person, or living thing, must experience all the happiness and hardships of life to have actually “lived”.
(I did this when I was watching Jigoku Shoujo a few months ago. I still haven't finished watching it)
What is it? What is it that comes from doing bad? Why do people care for others and live happily, but then suddenly fall into the dark paths of terror and sin? I do not know what it does for me. Life, death, these things play a major role for the living and non-living. It is what keeps this world flowing.
Yet, can someone change their path? Can they live in life without sin? I think not. It is something that humans can never comprehend…The meaning of our lives here. Materialistic things: money, work, property. Can someone really just toss themselves into the desire and forget what living is about? Yes, yes a person can. They can but can they reach up for the light and honestly wish to redeem themselves? Maybe it can happen.
Sure this is what some call “The Game of Life” but you have to play it fair and square. There’s no cheating or shortcuts in life. A person, or living thing, must experience all the happiness and hardships of life to have actually “lived”.
The thing that controls us is the Dice of Fate. There are also cards that we can use, when we land on a certain place in the board game of life. Sort of like Monopoly’s “Get out of Jail” pass, except when we get our passes, we call them “miracles”.
There are also other players in this “game”. They are known as our neighbors, family, friends, and strangers. We do know for a fact that there are other players, but when a player in the game is losing, do we care about them?
Sure, this world is a harsh place. Oh, it definitely is. But that is what we need to over come to be able to truly live. To obtain what we want, something must be lost as a person works for it. It’s only fair, no?
Strict rules are what keep this world in place, but sometimes, these rules seem unfair and unjust. It doesn’t matter what situation we are in… We can never accept the fact that the things that have to happen, have to happen. If they don’t, this world would’ve been gone long ago.
It… is only nothing but how the Game of Life works. There are certain rules and instructions that are embedded into our minds. There are some things that we just can’t do, but only in the time of crisis, is when we try to fix things and realize how fragile and small we really are.
I find myself crying again. It feels wrong to laugh at my own misfortune. So I shall not be angry at those who've made me cry.
I will smile at my misfortune and know that I was lucky enough to get this far. I have been through worse, I will not let this get me down.
Though it really isn't too bad when I cry. Except that I look like a sniffling brat each time I do cry.
So, I have an idea. Many people have told me of that whole "what you do shows who you are" thing and I've been trying to work out a plan. I'll try to write down notes for anything I do that leads to what type of person I am.
Just like... When I walk, do I walk with my left foot first or my right? Do I walk in a straight line? Do I walk oddly or do I constantly change paths? Questions like these and more will amaze me and I just have to write down what I ultimately think these actions mean. Well, there will obviously be more than one meaning for everything I do, so it'll be interesting to reread over my notes once I start them.
