Chaotic Bliss
What do you think of it? be honest.
1
This is my first post on Fakku (woo?)
anyways I write quite a lot, I do poems and short stories.
I've always wanted to start a real novel, but I never have the time, so for now I'm putting it off.
I'm going to post a short story I wrote a few months ago, I hope you enjoy it. Also if your looking for sex, this isn't it.
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[size=28][font=Blackletter686 BT]Chaotic[/font] Bliss[/h]
>A breath escaped him and turned to steam, quickly rising in the air above him. He looked around and saw the walls of the intercity river towering over him. Above was the underside of a bridge, where he and his girlfriend had taken refuge from the blizzard outside. Occasionally the sound of a car going by came from over-head. Lizz, his girlfriend, was huddled in his lap with her eyes shut tight as if trying to keep the cold out.
>"Romantic date under a bridge, its everything I ever dreamed of!" Alexander said spontaneously, breaking the silence like a bottle to concrete. She laughed and lifted her head slowly, fighting the cold along the way. She opened her eyes and Alexander felt his inside melt. Piercing green eyes looked up at him followed by a smile; laying her head against him Lizz’s hair fell off her shoulders as she spoke into his chest.
>“Oh yea,” she said sarcastically “When you told me we should go to the historic district I didn’t know you mean in the river!” She laughed at her joke and tried to burrow into him deeper.
>“Hey! It’s not my fault we are here!”
>“Yes it is, but thank you.” Alexander laughed and wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly.
>“I love you Lizz.”
>“Really?”
>“Really really”
>“Why do you love me?” The words escaped her as a sudden chill ran down her spine. She hugged him tighter and brought her knees closer to her chest. Alexander took off his coat and laid it gently over her shoulders.
>“Because when I’m with you the demons of my past disappear; Your smile melts my heart and freezes my brain. I’m in a state of chaotic bliss when I’m with you, and every moment without you is one I don’t want to live for.”
>She sat silently in his arms as the snow fell outside; she shifted her weight against him so she could lift her head higher. Her eyes met his and her lips found their way to his own. It was quickly broken as she hugged him.
>“I promise Lizz, I promise to give you everything my father denied me. I will never let you go, and I will never become that person.” Alexander whispered into her ear; her only response was to hug him tighter. He looked outside and noticed that the snow had stopped. “Hey the snow stopped; let’s go honey.” Alexander announced, but Lizz only held onto him tighter and shook her head no, brushing her face against his chest.
>“Just a little longer.” He tightened his grip on her as the cars still rushed by over-head, turning to look outside he saw the snow had started again. With a loud curse and a sigh he settled in with his love, the one he had always been looking for, and he stroked her hair as the snow fell gently outside.
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apparently, Fakku doesn't like indentation, so where ever there is a ">" It means its indented xD
anyways I write quite a lot, I do poems and short stories.
I've always wanted to start a real novel, but I never have the time, so for now I'm putting it off.
I'm going to post a short story I wrote a few months ago, I hope you enjoy it. Also if your looking for sex, this isn't it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
[size=28][font=Blackletter686 BT]Chaotic[/font] Bliss[/h]
>A breath escaped him and turned to steam, quickly rising in the air above him. He looked around and saw the walls of the intercity river towering over him. Above was the underside of a bridge, where he and his girlfriend had taken refuge from the blizzard outside. Occasionally the sound of a car going by came from over-head. Lizz, his girlfriend, was huddled in his lap with her eyes shut tight as if trying to keep the cold out.
>"Romantic date under a bridge, its everything I ever dreamed of!" Alexander said spontaneously, breaking the silence like a bottle to concrete. She laughed and lifted her head slowly, fighting the cold along the way. She opened her eyes and Alexander felt his inside melt. Piercing green eyes looked up at him followed by a smile; laying her head against him Lizz’s hair fell off her shoulders as she spoke into his chest.
>“Oh yea,” she said sarcastically “When you told me we should go to the historic district I didn’t know you mean in the river!” She laughed at her joke and tried to burrow into him deeper.
>“Hey! It’s not my fault we are here!”
>“Yes it is, but thank you.” Alexander laughed and wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly.
>“I love you Lizz.”
>“Really?”
>“Really really”
>“Why do you love me?” The words escaped her as a sudden chill ran down her spine. She hugged him tighter and brought her knees closer to her chest. Alexander took off his coat and laid it gently over her shoulders.
>“Because when I’m with you the demons of my past disappear; Your smile melts my heart and freezes my brain. I’m in a state of chaotic bliss when I’m with you, and every moment without you is one I don’t want to live for.”
>She sat silently in his arms as the snow fell outside; she shifted her weight against him so she could lift her head higher. Her eyes met his and her lips found their way to his own. It was quickly broken as she hugged him.
>“I promise Lizz, I promise to give you everything my father denied me. I will never let you go, and I will never become that person.” Alexander whispered into her ear; her only response was to hug him tighter. He looked outside and noticed that the snow had stopped. “Hey the snow stopped; let’s go honey.” Alexander announced, but Lizz only held onto him tighter and shook her head no, brushing her face against his chest.
>“Just a little longer.” He tightened his grip on her as the cars still rushed by over-head, turning to look outside he saw the snow had started again. With a loud curse and a sigh he settled in with his love, the one he had always been looking for, and he stroked her hair as the snow fell gently outside.
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apparently, Fakku doesn't like indentation, so where ever there is a ">" It means its indented xD
0
Well, I've read enough bloody lemons to be sick of them, good and bad, so I'm good. Anyway, this is a great one shot, and I would love a longer one, even though this is already awesome. It's just the right amount of sweet and dark, and to me, quite heart-warming.
What the hell are you doing? Get off your lazy ass and start on that novel! Just kidding, but you should start, it sounds like something I'd enjoy. All jokes aside, good luck with your writing, and hopefully you let us read a bit more of your work ^_^
What the hell are you doing? Get off your lazy ass and start on that novel! Just kidding, but you should start, it sounds like something I'd enjoy. All jokes aside, good luck with your writing, and hopefully you let us read a bit more of your work ^_^