[Contest Entry 2010] Tension. Lots of It.
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A writing competition huh? To the Cloud!
Now that we're at the Pantsu Cloud Cafe, we can finally have that clandestine meeting. What. You want scenery information? Well it's Christmas time of course Chris- No that was a few days ago. Alright well it's still before New Years. And it snows past February anyways. It's cold outside. Snow. Tons of it. A miracle we got here. Outside abominable snow zombies are scratching at the windows with their carrot noses and beady coal eyes. Wait, you want holiday cheer? Alright a mass of hung-over college kids are scratching on the window trying to get in. We've been snowed in for three days. We got in by teleportation. Candy canes, hot chocolate and music alright? What song.
*Face palm*
Whatever you like. It doesn't matter. I can't - I won't, hear it anyways. No, I don't have a recorder in your room listening to you fapping to hentai. I'm a Lurker, not a Stalker. There's a fine line of difference. I'm more Tsundere with noble intentions in my shyness. Not the whole freaky having an altar to your existence without you knowing kind of deal. No that Anime altar is to Anime. Anime can't be Stalked it's not an individual.
Where were we. Ah yes we teleported to the Pantsu Cloud Cafe where we are holding off against a horde of inebriated students suffering from withdrawal - what? How is this cheerful? They're O U T S I D E. We are I N S I D E. That and this tree is all glowy, and this fireplace which wasn't here three seconds ago is nice and toasty and this imaginary cup of peppermint hot chocolate is practically ho-ho-ho'ing itself like the ghost of Santa after the police shot him for breaking and entering.
*Sip*
Cheers.
Oh wait there's more to this story right. Hmm hope that window holds up. Nah don't bother trying to board it up with things. Don't you remember that free for all battle we had last time? With the Wii? No? Well this place is just a mess. Torn up furniture everywhere. Had sawdust in my drink. Not so bad after the third sip. What are we sitting on? Scrapped up things that duck-tape made useful again. Good thing I always carry it right? Don't give me that look. It fixes nearly everything.
*Sip*
So you want this story on ciabatta bread or is a reheated overpriced panini? What was that? Chibi or Panties? I think there's a nenoroid in here somewhere. You want that with yesterday's stale espresso? No there's nothing else to drink except my- no you may not- Really. You drank it. When I find that cake, you're not getting any. I am serious.
Now all I have is this chipped cup filled with dirty water that is over heated. Aahh... You really didn't think the holidays would be spent like this right? Talking in a Cafe that normally would have been an ideal place for Fakku members to meet up since it's an Altar to Hentai, but now is all torn up; well this is fiction so don't QQ over it too much eh? And not to mention the suspense.
*Crack*
Of what? The zombie's out there trying to break in of course. I bet you were thinking, "Man it would be so awesome if it was a bunch of hot smexy people that want to do me on the dance floor [which we just cleared]. Then I would have no heart burn breaking that glass to meet them halfway-" Well stop it. And put down that chair leg. Give me that Wii remote. And sit down. You can keep your pants off it doesn't bother me.
Look this wasn't how I was planning on celebrating my holiday either okay? All this time I thought, "You know, maybe I will go out of my way to meet Jacob or talk with other people in the forums." Real funny right? For a Lurker to say that, it takes a lot of pseudo courage. And a spell checker. Ah man you remember that convention? Yes the recent one. There was a meet up. Again. Couldn't go. Didn't QQ over it on the board though - too busy fapping and playing R/L. Yeah sometimes it kind of gets in the way. That whole survival thing. Fapping though an essential nutrient is not sufficient to cover all of R/L energy needs. But we don't want this to turn into a Confession right? Not that kind. The theme is Christmas. Or New Years. Holidays at least. Festivities!
*Crash!*
Quick into the back room. NOT THE CLOSET THIS WAY. Close the door. NO Go away Zombies GO AWAY NOT OPEN. There's nothing to eat here any- no don't take the donation box! Great they're coming this way help me close this. One. Two. Three. UUuumph! Whew. So all that STR training I did really helped. Yeah that door felt like it weighed a ton.
HAHAHAHA. Not like we're hikikomori right? Right. Don't answer that.
Man this really isn't turning out to be a lemon is it? No soft breasts to rub. No hard swords to crash into VAGOO ports. There's not even a neko maid or swim suit or bloomers or... Wait. We're in the storage closet. Huh I knew there was cosplay stuff in here this whole time, but man it's really stacked with - No I won't make you wear it. No more like I won't force you to. I'm sure you're response will be socially acceptable.
But still you must have been hoping right? That this holiday there would be some nice romance. Instead of this horror show of isolation, trapped in a snow storm with a storage shed door between you and hungry nightmares. I did too. Ah you still have my drink.
*Sip*
Cheers. Wut. Indirect kiss.
You know, it's kind of unsanitary now that I think about it.
Now that we're at the Pantsu Cloud Cafe, we can finally have that clandestine meeting. What. You want scenery information? Well it's Christmas time of course Chris- No that was a few days ago. Alright well it's still before New Years. And it snows past February anyways. It's cold outside. Snow. Tons of it. A miracle we got here. Outside abominable snow zombies are scratching at the windows with their carrot noses and beady coal eyes. Wait, you want holiday cheer? Alright a mass of hung-over college kids are scratching on the window trying to get in. We've been snowed in for three days. We got in by teleportation. Candy canes, hot chocolate and music alright? What song.
*Face palm*
Whatever you like. It doesn't matter. I can't - I won't, hear it anyways. No, I don't have a recorder in your room listening to you fapping to hentai. I'm a Lurker, not a Stalker. There's a fine line of difference. I'm more Tsundere with noble intentions in my shyness. Not the whole freaky having an altar to your existence without you knowing kind of deal. No that Anime altar is to Anime. Anime can't be Stalked it's not an individual.
Where were we. Ah yes we teleported to the Pantsu Cloud Cafe where we are holding off against a horde of inebriated students suffering from withdrawal - what? How is this cheerful? They're O U T S I D E. We are I N S I D E. That and this tree is all glowy, and this fireplace which wasn't here three seconds ago is nice and toasty and this imaginary cup of peppermint hot chocolate is practically ho-ho-ho'ing itself like the ghost of Santa after the police shot him for breaking and entering.
*Sip*
Cheers.
Oh wait there's more to this story right. Hmm hope that window holds up. Nah don't bother trying to board it up with things. Don't you remember that free for all battle we had last time? With the Wii? No? Well this place is just a mess. Torn up furniture everywhere. Had sawdust in my drink. Not so bad after the third sip. What are we sitting on? Scrapped up things that duck-tape made useful again. Good thing I always carry it right? Don't give me that look. It fixes nearly everything.
*Sip*
So you want this story on ciabatta bread or is a reheated overpriced panini? What was that? Chibi or Panties? I think there's a nenoroid in here somewhere. You want that with yesterday's stale espresso? No there's nothing else to drink except my- no you may not- Really. You drank it. When I find that cake, you're not getting any. I am serious.
Now all I have is this chipped cup filled with dirty water that is over heated. Aahh... You really didn't think the holidays would be spent like this right? Talking in a Cafe that normally would have been an ideal place for Fakku members to meet up since it's an Altar to Hentai, but now is all torn up; well this is fiction so don't QQ over it too much eh? And not to mention the suspense.
*Crack*
Of what? The zombie's out there trying to break in of course. I bet you were thinking, "Man it would be so awesome if it was a bunch of hot smexy people that want to do me on the dance floor [which we just cleared]. Then I would have no heart burn breaking that glass to meet them halfway-" Well stop it. And put down that chair leg. Give me that Wii remote. And sit down. You can keep your pants off it doesn't bother me.
Look this wasn't how I was planning on celebrating my holiday either okay? All this time I thought, "You know, maybe I will go out of my way to meet Jacob or talk with other people in the forums." Real funny right? For a Lurker to say that, it takes a lot of pseudo courage. And a spell checker. Ah man you remember that convention? Yes the recent one. There was a meet up. Again. Couldn't go. Didn't QQ over it on the board though - too busy fapping and playing R/L. Yeah sometimes it kind of gets in the way. That whole survival thing. Fapping though an essential nutrient is not sufficient to cover all of R/L energy needs. But we don't want this to turn into a Confession right? Not that kind. The theme is Christmas. Or New Years. Holidays at least. Festivities!
*Crash!*
Quick into the back room. NOT THE CLOSET THIS WAY. Close the door. NO Go away Zombies GO AWAY NOT OPEN. There's nothing to eat here any- no don't take the donation box! Great they're coming this way help me close this. One. Two. Three. UUuumph! Whew. So all that STR training I did really helped. Yeah that door felt like it weighed a ton.
HAHAHAHA. Not like we're hikikomori right? Right. Don't answer that.
Man this really isn't turning out to be a lemon is it? No soft breasts to rub. No hard swords to crash into VAGOO ports. There's not even a neko maid or swim suit or bloomers or... Wait. We're in the storage closet. Huh I knew there was cosplay stuff in here this whole time, but man it's really stacked with - No I won't make you wear it. No more like I won't force you to. I'm sure you're response will be socially acceptable.
But still you must have been hoping right? That this holiday there would be some nice romance. Instead of this horror show of isolation, trapped in a snow storm with a storage shed door between you and hungry nightmares. I did too. Ah you still have my drink.
*Sip*
Cheers. Wut. Indirect kiss.
You know, it's kind of unsanitary now that I think about it.
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Xenon
FAKKU Writer
You have a very interesting writing style. It's very fun to read. I enjoyed it.