[Contest Entry 2011] Christmas; Forever

Christmas; Forever

As I finished changing, I reflected on my day. While normally, I would be on Fakku or playing games, my friend, Vy, asked me to help her with some last minute shopping. She said that everyone else was either busy or not around; so, basically, she needed a ride. Somehow, we managed to finish shopping by dark. Then, as we stepped out the mall, we realized that it was going to snow. Unnecessarily excited, once back home, we made plans to meet up at a park close by our houses.

Suddenly, I could feel my chest tighten just a bit.

Two more days †˜till Christmas. Doctor, my time is up isn’t it?

-----

“It sure is getting cold,” I said to myself.

As I stood in the middle of the park, burying myself in my scarf, I whispered Peter’s name under my scarf.

“Peter… You’re late…”

Then, I started to reminisce on when we met.

-----

It was back in grade school. He was all alone. When I approached him, he didn’t really talk much, but I kept trying. Soon enough, we had become friends.

We somehow ended in the same middle school, and even high school. By the time we were seniors, I could say that I had a crush on Peter. In fact, maybe I’ve always had a crush on him. He was crazy skinny, and didn’t really stand out, or wasn’t outgoing, but it was just something I couldn’t put my finger on. Something about him was just different; his drive to become a doctor to help others, his patience, the fact that he opens every single door for me whenever we’re together; he’s so embarrassing.

We ended up going to the same college, and I went into a pre-med program along with Peter. I had my own ambitions to become a doctor as well. But then, I noticed that Peter began to miss school. When I decided to confront him about it, he told me he had cancer. At first I didn’t believe him, but he said, starting tomorrow, he would have to stay at the hospital for a while. I cried at home that day. I cried. And cried. And, I began to realize that Peter meant much more to me than just a crush.

I visited Peter every day after that. Not many others came, except for his best friend Tuan who visited probably just as much as I did. Every day after class, I went to the hospital and talked to Peter. I felt as if he was the only person who really knew who I was. The sad me, the frustrated me, the conflicted me, the happy me, he was always with me regardless. Just being with him, my chest started to tighten, and my mind would go blank for a bit. I was embarrassed, and flustered, and happy, all at once when I was with him.

-----

Why hadn’t I realized earlier?

I could feel a stream of tears rolling across my cheeks. I tried to wipe them at first, but for some reason it didn’t stop.

Then suddenly, I heard a voice call out from behind me, “I’m sorry I’m late Vy!” It was Peter’s voice. But I didn’t turn around; I didn’t want him to see me like this.

I could hear Peter’s footsteps cut through the snow as he worked his way towards me, but the closer he came the slower his footsteps became. Before I knew it, he was almost right behind me.

Then, he embraced me. I could tell he wore a light jacket, but it was open and I could feel the warmth coming from his body. He was so warm. We stayed that way for what seemed to be forever. I could only wish it would last that long.

As I stopped crying, Peter’s embraced tightened and he gently whispered in my ear, “Don’t turn around… please.”

“Just a bit longer,” he made a selfish request through his slightly stuttering, slightly cracked voice. It was clear that he was crying as well.

I had to tell him now. I was determined.

“Peter… I-” I tried to tell him.

“YOU CAN’T!” Peter cut in with a shout that echoed in the quiet night sky. Peter followed up with a quiet, almost melancholy voice, “Because Vy… I love you too.”

“Then why can’t we be together?!” I turned around with a furious twist and met with Peter’s bloodshot eyes. His eyes were still filled with tears.

After a long silence, he said almost inaudibly, “Because, I’m dying.”

Those words rang through my head. It didn’t process. What was he saying? I couldn’t… maybe I just didn’t want to.

“I’m sorry,” I heard him say. Then, with no warning, Peter started running towards his house.

“WAIT!! PETER!” I ran after him. I ran as fast as I could. But, it was no use, I wouldn’t catch up.

WHY?! WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN?!

I lost sight of Peter, but I continued to run to his house. But, when I got there, I saw Peter. On the floor. Being covered in snow. He didn’t move. He didn’t speak. My world. Peter. I. Don’t.

I snapped out from my stream of thoughts and called the police.

The ambulance came and took him to the hospital, but it didn’t matter. Peter was announced dead. He died from cardiac arrest.

The next day. Christmas Eve. I spent all of my time at home. I didn’t answer calls. I didn’t answer messages. I didn’t think of anything, except that the world was wrong. That God was wrong. Why did Peter die? What did he do to deserve to die?! It. Made. No. Sense. I spent the entire day alone at home, crying and wishing Peter was here. Soon, it was midnight. Christmas. Not like it mattered though.

Then, I heard the doorbell. I was going to ignore it, but then a voice bellowed through the door, “Its Tuan!! Please Vy, let me in!” Tuan was Peter’s best friend. I assumed he was here to cheer me up, but nothing was going to work. Not right now at least. But I decided to open the door as he probably shared the same sadness.

As I open the door, Tuan just stood at the door. He looked towards the floor and there was a short silence.

“Vy,” he unexpectedly embraced me in a tightness that was probably meant to comfort him more than me.

But then, with a calmness that clashed with the depressing atmosphere, he whispered in my ear, “This is from Peter.”

He took out an envelope from his jacket pocket and gave it to me. And, with those words, he left, closing the door as he made his way out.

My eyes began to fill with tears on their own. What was I supposed to think? A letter from Peter? I didn’t understand, but on the front of the envelope, it truly read: To Vy, From Peter.

My heart both raced and stopped. My tears started to flow onto the envelope, even as I wiped them, as I opened the letter. It was handwritten, on loose-leaf paper. I could barely hold the letter as my hands shook as I took it out. But the moment I started reading it, I started to calm down. My breathing was smoother, and Peter’s voice resonated in my head.

I’m sorry Vy, if you’re reading this, then I know what happened. I told Tuan about this when I was hospitalized, we both knew that it was going to happen soon, but I couldn’t tell you. Every time I’m with you, it’s like the world stops for a little bit. My heart beats faster, my chest gets tighter, my mind goes blank, and all I can think about is you. All I ever do when we are together is listen to you, but those moments together are the ones I cherish the most. I looked forward to when we would meet, when you would tell me about parties or friends or school. I think I needed you much more than anything else in the world.

You always told me I needed to stop saying sorry didn’t you? Well, this time, I want to say “Thank you” for everything you’ve ever done for me. Vy, I want you to move on and become stronger. Become the doctor you always wanted to be, and marry a man that is going to listen and care for you. But, even if it’s just a small, tiny space in your heart, please, don’t forget me. I’ll always be with you, and waiting to open the door to heaven for you. I will forever love you.

-Peter

P.S. – Merry Christmas! This was the best Christmas present I could afford.

Within the small envelope, I could feel something nestled in the corner. It was a glistening, golden ring, and engraved on the inside of the ring were the words “Forever.”

Christmas;Forever (Full Version)

The afternoon sky was covered with clouds as I looked up. I was pacing around my car as I waited for my friend. Normally, I would be at home, playing games, still asleep, or on Fakku checking out what vanilla man had to offer. I don’t go out too often, or more like not at all, but today my friend called me to help her out.

“I hope she hurries, it’s going to rain soon. Not to mention it’s getting pretty cold,” I said to myself.

And just as Peter finished his sentence, the door to the house opened. The girl that came out wore a pair of dark blue jeans, a white shirt, and a black light jacket. Her silky, black hair stretched across her back.

“Peter!!! Sorry I’m late! I had to help my mom for a bit,” she mustered up an apology as she attempted to catch her breath from running out.

“Your mom is always bugging you eh? Don’t worry about it, Vy. Let’s go!” I said casually as I opened the door to the passenger seat.

“Peter! That’s kind of embarrassing, stop opening the door for me!” She exclaimed looking a little flustered.

“Wah, I’m sorry!” I instinctively said to her remark.

I didn’t really do it on purpose or anything. I just happened to open the door, with almost no thought to it. I guess it’s a kind of second nature for me.

“Peter, you need to stop apologizing as well!” She let out a deep sigh as she entered in the car, “You realize you’re too nice right?”

As I got into the driver’s side I remarked, “Well, I can’t help it! Plus, you can never be too nice right?”

Today, two days before Christmas, my friend Vy, had to do some last minute Christmas shopping. But surprisingly, she said that everyone else was either busy or on vacation so she had no other options. I’m kind of a pushover, but I had planned on going shopping later today anyways.

The car ride was full of Vy almost holding a one-sided conversation. She talked about a couple parties she went to, about her classes next semester, the presents she planned to buy, and a ton of other things. That was kind of our relationship, a listener-speaker dynamic. We saw each other fairly often because we attend the same college and have the same major. Admittedly, I try to avoid any unnecessary conversations, but she insists on talking to me as well as whomever else she sees. She’s… like a social butterfly, and I admire that aspect of her.

Suddenly, she stopped talking for a bit. The air soon became stagnant and a tangible tension was starting to build up. I tried to say something, but the words wouldn’t leave my mouth.

“I’m sorry about making you drive me. I know you just got out of the hospital and all,” she broke the silence and apologized as if it was the end of the world.

“… ARGHHHH!” I burst out in a playful, dramatic outburst, “You had me all worried with that silence, and you’re going to tell me this?!” I followed up with a disappointed sigh.

“Trust me, it’s not a problem. Plus, it’s not like a sickly person like me should be indoors 24/7 anyways! Doesn’t that make since?” I reassured her.

“Are you really sure?” she said worriedly.

“Yes yes yes! You better not be all gloomy in the mall, people will think that I’m a terrible… brother of some sort!”

She let out a small laugh, “You come up with some strange ideas Peter.”

Vy cheered up and they both arrived at the mall shortly after.

“Holy shit,” I said under my breath as I saw the swarms of people inside the mall. I was a bit taken back, but Vy took hold of my hand and charged straight into the crowd.

I was embarrassed at first, but I soon realized that if we didn’t do our shopping soon, nothing would be left.

I tagged along with Vy to carry her bags, and did a little shopping on my own. At one point, I asked Vy to take a break at the food court for a bit as I went to do my own shopping.

When I came back, she was a bit furious that I took so long, but that was short-lived as we continued. By the time we finished shopping, it was dark. Somehow, Vy managed to get all she needed, and we left the mall pretty satisfied.

However, when we got out, we could feel a light mist outside.

We looked at each other, and instantly we knew what this meant. A mist or a drizzle in this kind of temperature can only mean…

“Snow!!!!” We both screamed at the top of our lungs. It wasn’t evening snowing yet, so we looked like complete idiots, and were crazy embarrassed after realizing what we said. After laughing it off, we hurried back to my car to go home.

We made plans to meet up at a park close by both of our homes as I dropped Vy off.

As I went home myself, I could see outside the window of my room the light mist slowly, but surely, become an elegant, display of white particles drifting through the air. Snow is a sight that is always beautiful.

“Maybe it’ll be a white Christmas as well!” I exclaimed to myself as I took off my slightly wet clothes and changed into a similar set of clothes, along with a scarf.

As I finished changing, I took a look at my desk: a computer, some loose paper, a printer, a lamp; it was pretty typical, except for the stack of papers in the middle. They were copies of documents from the hospital. Medical records, prescriptions, discharge papers, they were all there. But, I knew better than to read useless documents; I knew how hospitals work.

-----

“Doctor, I’m going to die aren’t I?”

“Well, there are several surgeries as well as medicines that can help. I wouldn’t be too pessimistic about this.”

“The cancer, it’s up to my heart. I’m in a pre-med program. I would be in med school if I wasn’t in this damned hospital right now!! Don’t you get it?! There is no way I can live!!”

“Peter!! Calm down! Hear me out! There are ways to work this out!”

“With what money…?! I live alone. My parents are dead. I work a part-time job, and I only get by thanks to scholarships and grants!!”

There was a silence for what seemed to be an eternity. Then, Peter broke the silence.
“How long do I have to live? I want the truth.”

The doctor looked Peter in the eye and intently stared, almost as if asking if he was sure.

“Two months. Three max. You won’t make it to Christmas… that is all I can say. I’m sorry.”

Peter stared blankly at the doctor. He didn’t cry, or become furious, he just laid there, and he understood.

Then Peter asked, “Will you let me out? Please, it is the only thing I ask of you.”

“It will take some work, but I can have you out by the end of this week. But, are you sure? You might even live less than what I’ve just projected.”

“Yes, I have to do something very important.”

The two made eye contact, and the doctor could tell Peter was dead serious. The conversation ended there.

------

Two more days †˜till Christmas. Doctor, my time is up, isn’t it?

-----

I stared straight up at the sky in amazement as the white snow continued to drift aimlessly. It was a light flurry, but even so, it started to blanket the park in a curtain of white. No one was around as this was actually a pretty unpopular park, since there was a much larger one nearby. Rather than a park, it was more like a small clearing with some benches; Peter and I were probably its only visitors.

“It sure is getting late …and cold,” I whispered to myself under my scarf. I wore a set of clothes similar to when I went to the mall, except I grabbed a scarf and a snow hat this time.

As I stood there burying myself in my scarf, I whispered Peter’s name under my scarf.

“Peter… You’re late…”

Then, I started to reminisce on when we met.

-----

It was back in grade school. He was all alone. When I approached him, he didn’t really talk much, but I kept trying. Soon enough, we had become friends with a strange relationship. I would talk, and he would listen. It was simple, and maybe some would think boring, but it was a relationship that we maintained ever since.

We somehow ended up in the same middle school, and even high school. By the time we were seniors, I could say that I had a crush on Peter. In fact, maybe I’ve always had a crush on him. He was crazy skinny, and didn’t really stand out, or wasn’t outgoing, but it was just something I couldn’t put my finger on. Something about him was just different; his drive to become a doctor to help others, his patience, the fact that he opens every single door for me whenever we’re together; he’s so embarrassing.

We ended up going to the same college, and I went into a pre-med program along with Peter. I had my own ambitions to become a doctor as well. Then, I noticed that Peter began to miss school. When I decided to confront him about it, he told me he had cancer. At first I didn’t believe him, but he said that he would have to stay at the hospital for a while. I cried at home that day. I cried. And cried. And, I began to realize that Peter meant much more to me than just a crush.

I visited Peter every day after that. Not many others came, except for his best friend Tuan who visited probably just as much as I did. Every day after class, I went to the hospital and talked to Peter. I felt as if he was the only person who really knew who I was. The sad me, the frustrated me, the conflicted me, the happy me, he was always with me regardless. Just being with him, my chest started to tighten, and my mind would go blank for a bit. I was embarrassed, and flustered, and happy, all at once when I was with him.

-----

Why hadn’t I realized earlier?

I could feel a stream of tears rolling across my cheeks. I tried to wipe them at first, but for some reason it didn’t stop.

Suddenly, I heard a voice call out from behind me, “I’m sorry I’m late Vy!” It was Peter’s voice. But I didn’t turn around; I didn’t want him to see me like this.

I could hear Peter’s footsteps cut through the snow as he worked his way towards me, but the closer he came the slower his footsteps became. Before I knew it, he was almost right behind me.

Then, he embraced me. I could tell he wore a light jacket, but it was open and I could feel the warmth coming from his body. He was so warm. We stayed that way for what seemed to be forever. I could only wish it would last that long.

As I stopped crying, Peter’s embraced tightened and he gently whispered in my ear, “Don’t turn around… please.”

“Just a bit longer,” he made a selfish request through his slightly stuttering, slightly cracked voice. It was clear that he was crying as well.

I had to tell him now. I was determined.

“Peter… I-” I tried to tell him.

“You can’t!” Peter cut in with a shout that echoed in the quiet night sky. Peter followed up with a quiet, almost melancholy voice, “Because Vy… I love you too.”

“Then why can’t we be together?!” I turned around with a furious twist and met with Peter’s bloodshot eyes. His eyes were still filled with tears.

After a long silence, he said almost inaudibly, “Because, I’m dying.”

Those words rang through my head. It didn’t process. What was he saying? I couldn’t… maybe I just didn’t want to.

“I’m sorry,” I heard him say. Then, with no warning, Peter started running towards his house.

“Wait!! Peter!” I ran after him. I ran as fast as I could. But, it was no use, I wouldn’t catch up.

Why?! Why does this have to happen?!

I lost sight of Peter, but I continued to run to his house. But, when I got there, I saw Peter. On the floor. Being covered in snow. He didn’t move. He didn’t speak. My world. Peter. I. Don’t.

I snapped out from my stream of thoughts and called the police.

The ambulance came and took him to the hospital, but it didn’t matter. Peter was announced dead. He died from cardiac arrest.

The next day. Christmas Eve. I spent all of my time at home. I didn’t answer calls. I didn’t answer messages. I didn’t think of anything, except that the world was wrong. That God was wrong. Why did Peter die? What did he do to deserve to die?! It. Made. No. Sense. I spent the entire day alone at home, crying and wishing Peter was here. Soon, it was midnight. Christmas. Not like it mattered though.

Then, I heard the doorbell. I was going to ignore it, but then a voice bellowed through the door, “Its Tuan!! Please Vy, let me in!” Tuan was Peter’s best friend. I assumed he was here to cheer me up, but nothing was going to work. Not right now at least. But I decided to open the door as he probably shared the same sadness.

As I opened the door, Tuan just stood there. He looked towards the floor and there was a short silence.

“Vy,” he unexpectedly embraced me in a tightness that was probably meant to comfort him more than me.

But then, with a calmness that clashed with the depressing atmosphere, he whispered in my ear, “This is from Peter.”

He took out an envelope from his jacket pocket and gave it to me. And, with those words, he left, closing the door as he made his way out.

My eyes began to fill with tears on their own. What was I supposed to think? A letter from Peter? I didn’t understand, but on the front of the envelope, it truly read: To Vy, From Peter.

My heart both raced and stopped. My tears started to flow onto the envelope, even as I wiped them, as I opened the letter. It was handwritten, on loose-leaf paper. I could barely hold the letter as my hands shook as I took it out. But the moment I started reading it, I started to calm down. My breathing was smoother, and Peter’s voice resonated in my head.

I’m sorry, Vy. If you’re reading this, then I know what happened. I told Tuan about this when I was hospitalized, we both knew that it was going to happen soon, but I couldn’t tell you. Every time I’m with you, it’s like the world stops for a little bit. My heart beats faster, my chest gets tighter, my mind goes blank, and all I can think about is you. All I ever do when we are together is listen to you, but those moments together are the ones I cherish the most. I looked forward to when we would meet, when you would tell me about parties or friends or school. I think I needed you much more than anything else in the world.

You always told me I needed to stop saying sorry didn’t you? Well, this time, I want to say “thank you” for everything you’ve ever done for me. Vy, I want you to move on and become stronger. Become the doctor you always wanted to be, and marry a man that is going to listen and care for you. But, even if it’s just a small, tiny space in your heart, please, don’t forget me. I’ll always be with you, and waiting to open the door to heaven for you. I will forever love you.

-Peter

P.S. – Merry Christmas! This was the best Christmas present I could afford.

Within the small envelope, I could feel something nestled in the corner. It was a glistening, golden ring, and engraved on the inside of the ring were the words “Forever.”

As I finished changing, I reflected on my day. While normally, I would be on Fakku or playing games, my friend, Vy, asked me to help her with some last minute shopping. She said that everyone else was either busy or not around; so, basically, she needed a ride. Somehow, we managed to finish shopping by dark. Then, as we stepped out of the mall, we realized that it was going to snow. Unnecessarily excited, once back home, we made plans to meet up at a park close by our houses.

Suddenly, I could feel my chest tighten just a bit.

Two more days †˜till Christmas. Doctor, my time is up, isn’t it?

-----

“It sure is getting cold,” I said to myself.

As I stood in the middle of the park, burying myself in my scarf, I whispered Peter’s name under my scarf.

“Peter… You’re late…”

Then, I started to reminisce on when we met.

-----

It was back in grade school. He was all alone. When I approached him, he didn’t really talk much, but I kept trying. Soon enough, we had become friends.

We somehow ended up in the same middle school, and even high school. By the time we were seniors, I could say that I had a crush on Peter. In fact, maybe I’ve always had a crush on him. He was crazy skinny, and didn’t really stand out, or wasn’t outgoing, but it was just something I couldn’t put my finger on. Something about him was just different; his drive to become a doctor to help others, his patience, the fact that he opens every single door for me whenever we’re together; he’s so embarrassing.

We ended up going to the same college, and I went into a pre-med program along with Peter. I had my own ambitions to become a doctor as well. But tThen, I noticed that Peter began to miss school. When I decided to confront him about it, he told me he had cancer. At first I didn’t believe him, but he said, starting tomorrow, he would have to stay at the hospital for a while. I cried at home that day. I cried. And cried. And, I began to realize that Peter meant much more to me than just a crush.

I visited Peter every day after that. Not many others came, except for his best friend, Tuan, who visited probably just as much as I did. Every day after class, I went to the hospital and talked to Peter. I felt as if he was the only person who really knew who I was. The sad me, the frustrated me, the conflicted me, the happy me, he was always with me regardless. Just being with him, my chest started to tighten, and my mind would go blank for a bit. I was embarrassed, and flustered, and happy, all at once when I was with him.

-----

Why hadn’t I realized earlier?

I could feel a stream of tears rolling across my cheeks. I tried to wipe them at first, but for some reason it didn’t stop.

Then sSuddenly, I heard a voice call out from behind me, “I’m sorry I’m late, Vy!” It was Peter’s voice. But I didn’t turn around; I didn’t want him to see me like this.

I could hear Peter’s footsteps cut through the snow as he worked his way towards me, but the closer he came, the slower his footsteps became. Before I knew it, he was almost right behind me.

Then, he embraced me. I could tell he wore a light jacket, but it was open and I could feel the warmth coming from his body. He was so warm. We stayed that way for what seemed to be forever. I could only wish it would last that long.

As I stopped crying, Peter’s embraced tightened and he gently whispered in my ear, “Don’t turn around… please.”

“Just a bit longer,” he made a selfish request through his slightly stuttering, slightly cracked voice. It was clear that he was crying as well.

I had to tell him now. I was determined.

“Peter… I-” I tried to tell him.

“YouOU CAN’Tcan’t!” (It is unnecessary to type words in all caps, aside from an intentionally creative or artistic purpose. The exclamation point signifies volume, not the capital letter, which signifies the beginning of a sentence or proper noun) Peter cut in with a shout that echoed in the quiet night sky. Peter followed up with a quiet, almost melancholy voice, “Because, Vy… I love you too.”

“Then why can’t we be together?!” I turned around with a furious twist and met with Peter’s bloodshot eyes. His eyes were still filled with tears.

After a long silence, he said almost inaudibly, “Because, I’m dying.”

Those words rang through my head. It didn’t process. What was he saying? I couldn’t… maybe I just didn’t want to.

“I’m sorry,” I heard him say. Then, with no warning, Peter started running towards his house.

“WaitAIT!! PeterETER!” (All caps; see above)I ran after him. I ran as fast as I could. But, it was no use, I wouldn’t catch up.

WhyHY?! WhyHY DOESdoes THISthis HAVEhave TOto HAPPENhappen?! (All caps again; see above again)

I lost sight of Peter, but I continued to run to his house. But, when I got there, I saw Peter. On the floor. Being covered in snow. He didn’t move. He didn’t speak. My world. Peter. I. Don’t. (This is a perfect example of intentional rule breaking of literature for artistic and relational purpose, one can feel the distraught feelings in Vy directly from the break in sentence structure and temporary loss of cognitive and intellectual ability to think in a logical and literary process. It ends up propelling the emotion to the reader, which was the case for myself.)

I snapped out from my stream of thoughts and called the police.

The ambulance came and took him to the hospital, but it didn’t matter. Peter was announced dead. He died from cardiac arrest.

The next day;. Christmas Eve. I spent all of my time at home. I didn’t answer calls. I didn’t answer messages. I didn’t think of anything, except that the world was wrong. That God was wrong. Why did Peter die? What did he do to deserve to die?! It. Made. No. Sense. I spent the entire day alone at home, crying and wishing Peter was here. Soon, it was midnight. Christmas. Not like it mattered though.

Then, I heard the doorbell. I was going to ignore it, but then a voice bellowed through the door, “Its Tuan!! Please Vy, let me in!” Tuan was Peter’s best friend. I assumed he was here to cheer me up, but nothing was going to work. Not right now at least. But I decided to open the door as he probably shared the same sadness.

As I opened the door, Tuan just stood thereat the door. (Already stated at the beginning of the sentence) He looked towards the floor and there was a short silence.

“Vy,” he unexpectedly embraced me in a tightness that was probably meant to comfort him more than me.

But then, with a calmness that clashed with the depressing atmosphere, he whispered in my ear, “This is from Peter.”

He took out an envelope from his jacket pocket and gave it to me. And, with those words, he left, closing the door as he made his way out.

My eyes began to fill with tears on their own. What was I supposed to think? A letter from Peter? I didn’t understand, but on the front of the envelope, it truly read: To Vy, From Peter.

My heart both raced and stopped. My tears started to flow onto the envelope, even as I wiped them, as I opened the letter. It was handwritten, on loose-leaf paper. I could barely hold the letter as my hands shook as I took it out. But the moment I started reading it, I started to calm down. My breathing was smoother, and Peter’s voice resonated in my head.

I’m sorry, Vy., iIf you’re reading this, then I know what happened. I told Tuan about this when I was hospitalized, we both knew that it was going to happen soon, but I couldn’t tell you. Every time I’m with you, it’s like the world stops for a little bit. My heart beats faster, my chest gets tighter, my mind goes blank, and all I can think about is you. All I ever do when we are together is listen to you, but those moments together are the ones I cherish the most. I looked forward to when we would meet, when you would tell me about parties or friends or school. I think I needed you much more than anything else in the world.

You always told me I needed to stop saying sorry, didn’t you? Well, this time, I want to say “Tthank you” for everything you’ve ever done for me. Vy, I want you to move on and become stronger. Become the doctor you always wanted to be, and marry a man that is going to listen and care for you. But, even if it’s just a small, tiny space in your heart, please, don’t forget me. I’ll always be with you, and waiting to open the door to heaven for you. I will forever love you.

-Peter

P.S. – Merry Christmas! This was the best Christmas present I could afford.

Within the small envelope, I could feel something nestled in the corner. It was a glistening, golden ring, and engraved on the inside of the ring were the words “Forever.”