[Contest Entry 2011] The History of the Winter Solstice

Brutal, vicious, merciless, there existed a hundred different words in a hundred different languages that partially described it, but none could fully capture or truly explain what happened. Fakku, jewel of the north and dividing line between two vast nations was burning. In violation of every sacred law, every tradition and every treaty involving the coming of the Winter Solstice, they had attacked. Children, soldiers, mothers, fathers, sons and daughters slowly died as poisoned food and drink did their sinister work, reducing them to animals blinded by pain. In the confusion, they attacked, gates that would have taken years of siege to force open were rendered useless as trolls opened them from within. They slowly, methodically silenced each and every screaming figure, each sobbing child, and each feeble soldier who tried to meet them. Even as Bocaj, the mighty goatee bearing leader of Fakku brought to bear magic the world had not seen in ages, it wasn’t enough. Bocaj could slaughter the entire army and it wouldn’t matter, Fakku had fallen, war would soon follow. Those demons… the NTR lovers.

It was the end of a more civilized age, and Vanillaman spared only a single tear. As soldiers fell besides him and others broke and ran he could spare only one more tear. The fellowship was broken and all that still mattered was the feel of his war hammer taking their lives, the dull thump of their bodies crumpling as their heads vanished with a wet squelch, all that mattered was Her name on his lips, all that mattered was the battle and the offering he would lay at Her feet.

Three more of them rushed the lone survivor and he roared his welcome as he steadied himself. The first came with sword held high in the foolish hope that he would cut the titan before him in half. A side step and a quick fist to the throat dropped the fool before a plated boot smashed his head into a pulp. The other two rushed forward even as Vanillaman ended their compatriot’s life. The first managed four steps before he was swatted aside, the second managed to dodge, scrambling back from the wide arc the war hammer made as it screamed through the air. The heretic moved to take advantage of Vanillaman’s swing only to come to a stop as a sword buried itself in his gut. Following the blade in shock he saw that where Vanillaman once held a war hammer now gleamed a sword. The NTR lover could only gape before he was brutally kicked off as the titan turned to meet the next wave.

Swords, spears, hammers, daggers and shields; for every situation a new weapon, combined with his goddess granted powers Vanillaman stood unyielding, an immovable object against a tide of heretics. Soon they stopped, a sea of heretics stopped by the word of a single black knight.

“You fight well for an idealist, vanilla loving drone, but it is futile! Fakku has fallen, and soon nothing will stop us from taking your country’s children, wives and small dogs and corrupting them all.” Trnnam rumbled as he strode forward.

Vanillaman recoiled as the hatred, grief, anger and resignation of countless lovers wrapped around the behemoth but waited, knowing a villainous monologue was sure to come.

“You can’t win Vanillaman! We cannot be defeated! So long as there are three people on this planet, we will exist! Countless vanilla lovers die in despair knowing that we will always be waiting, we will always hunt them down, and we will always be ready to take from them that which they value most! I’ve felled stronger fighters than you boy, I’ve taken arrows to the knee and still remain my liege’s most powerful servant! Before me, you and your allegiance to pure love is nothing! Drown in your ideals and die!”

In the face of such pure, unadulterated corruption, Vanillaman stood strong, counting down under his breath from ten.

“Bold aren’t you boy? Ignoring me, the greatest threat to your so called goddes.” The miasma surrounding the man grew stronger as he began laughing. “I will enjoy watching you break as your goddess is begs me to take her this!”
The aura surrounding Trnnam grew stronger as he removed his groin plate, revealing a horrific sword.

“Behold the Sword o-“ was all the dark champion could say as a shaft of light pierced the horrifying miasma surrounding the sword, propelling the suddenly howling champion through his army and into an immolating building before the spear exploded.

“Bored now” growled Vanillaman as the spear magically reappeared in his hands.

“Death to all NTR lovers!” He roared in challenge, calling his weapon back to himself, preparing himself to die as the heretics charged, howling accusations of “He cheated!” or “Didn’t even argue about his ideals” or “Failed to engage in a philosophical debate on the nature of man that ends with trial by champion!”

Days later, as the first detachment of Vanilla affiliated soldiers moved through the wreckage of Fakku, they would drop to their knees in awe as the mountain of corpses came into view, and at the top stood Vanillaman’s hammer, the great hero gone to be with his mistress, a beam of light marking his apotheosis. Vanillman, Eternal Protector of Vanilla Lovers.

Why did he do it you ask? Why had he sacrificed himself to fight a war that we may very well never win and would only occasionally be with his love? Perhaps he did it because he knew so long as his fight inspired a single vanilla loving woman or man and as long as they inspired in turn, that war could be won. Perhaps he did it because no one else would do it. Perhaps he did it because he was tired of dealing with Fakku constantly vanishing due to Bocaj blowing everything up. I think he did it so he could finally die and become one with his Goddess while simultaneously giving a middle finger to all NTR heretics. Regardless of the whys, that’s what happened, and that’s how the Winter Solstice is now a day of celebration for Vanilla Lovers everywhere, it was the day we were shown that the fight could be won if only each and every one of us was willing to do our part and the day the greatest of us became a god. Remember kids, only you can stop NTR.

His Eminence understands that there may be many versions of his apotheosis, even now he stresses to me that what matters is only that the general structure of his legend is spread. God needs prayer badly after all.

Hail! May He watch you and your loved ones.

I was itching to put that meme in somewhere xD

Go in peace my son, keep His word ever in your heart.

Many thanks, I actually debated on putting more combat, but I was unsure of my ability to write such scenes fluidly. Comparing my work to the hardships of a tailor is a bit much, tailors have to work with needles! Needles!

Sit down and let this one tell you a story…Of Fakku and Vanillaman.

Brutal, vicious, merciless, there existed a hundred different words in a hundred different languages that partially described it, but none could fully capture or truly explain what happened. Fakku, jewel of the north and dividing line between two vast nations was burning. In violation of every sacred law, every tradition and every treaty involving the coming of the Winter Solstice, they had attacked. Children, soldiers, mothers, fathers, sons and daughters slowly died as poisoned food and drink did their sinister work, reducing them to animals blinded by pain. In the confusion, they attacked,. gGates that would have taken years of siege to force open were rendered useless as trolls opened them from within. They slowly, methodically silenced each and every screaming figure, each sobbing child, and each feeble soldier who tried to meet them. Even as Bocaj, the mighty goatee bearing leader of Fakku, brought to bear magic the world had not seen in ages, it wasn’t enough. Bocaj could slaughter the entire army and it wouldn’t matter,. Fakku had fallen, war would soon follow. Those demons… the NTR lovers.

It was the end of a more civilized age, and Vanillaman spared only a single tear. As soldiers fell besides him and others broke and ran, he could spare only one more tear. The fellowship was broken and all that still mattered was the feel of his war hammer taking their lives, the dull thump of their bodies crumpling as their heads vanished with a wet squelch,. aAll that mattered was Her name on his lips, all that mattered was the battle and the offering he would lay at Her feet.

Three more of them rushed the lone survivor and he roared his welcome as he steadied himself. The first came with sword held high in the foolish hope that he would cut the titan before him in half. A side step and a quick fist to the throat dropped the fool before a plated boot smashed his head into a pulp. The other two rushed forward even as Vanillaman ended their compatriot’s life. The first managed four steps before he was swatted aside, the second managed to dodge, scrambling back from the wide arc the war hammer made as it screamed through the air. The heretic moved to take advantage of Vanillaman’s swing only to come to a stop as a sword buried itself in his gut. Following the blade in shock, he saw that where Vanillaman once held a war hammer now gleamed a sword. The NTR lover could only gape before he was brutally kicked off as the titan turned to meet the next wave.

Swords, spears, hammers, daggers and shields; for every situation a new weapon, combined with his goddess granted powers, Vanillaman stood unyielding;, an immovable object against a tide of heretics. Soon they stopped;, a sea of heretics stopped by the word of a single black knight.

“You fight well for an idealist, vanilla loving drone, but it is futile! Fakku has fallen, and soon nothing will stop us from taking your country’s children, wives and small dogs and corrupting them all.” Trnnam rumbled as he strode forward.

Vanillaman recoiled as the hatred, grief, anger and resignation of countless lovers wrapped around the behemoth but waited, knowing a villainous monologue was sure to come.

“You can’t win, Vanillaman! We cannot be defeated! So long as there are three people on this planet, we will exist! Countless vanilla lovers die in despair knowing that we will always be waiting, we will always hunt them down, and we will always be ready to take from them that which they value most! I’ve felled stronger fighters than you, boy,. I’ve taken arrows to the knee and still remain my liege’s most powerful servant! Before me, you and your allegiance to pure love is nothing! Drown in your ideals and die!”

In the face of such pure, unadulterated corruption, Vanillaman stood strong, counting down under his breath from ten.

“Bold, aren’t you, boy? Ignoring me, the greatest threat to your so called †˜goddess.’” The miasma surrounding the man grew stronger as he began laughing. “I will enjoy watching you break as your goddess is begs me to take her with this!”

The aura surrounding Trnnam(What a name) grew stronger as he removed his groin plate, revealing a horrific sword.

“Behold the Sword o-“ was all the dark champion could say as a shaft of light pierced the horrifying miasma surrounding the sword, propelling the suddenly howling champion through his army and into an immolating building before the spear exploded.

“Bored now” growled Vanillaman as the spear magically reappeared in his hands.

“Death to all NTR lovers!” He roared in challenge, calling his weapon back to himself, preparing himself to die as the heretics charged, howling accusations of “He cheated!” or “Didn’t even argue about his ideals” or “Failed to engage in a philosophical debate on the nature of man that ends with trial by champion!”

Days later, as the first detachment of Vanilla affiliated soldiers moved through the wreckage of Fakku, they would drop to their knees in awe as the mountain of corpses came into view, and at the top stood Vanillaman’s hammer, the great hero gone to be with his mistress, a beam of light marking his apotheosis. Vanillman, Eternal Protector of Vanilla Lovers.

Why did he do it, you ask? Why had he sacrificed himself to fight a war that we may very well never win and would only occasionally be with his love? Perhaps he did it because he knew that so long as his fight inspired a single vanilla loving woman or man, and as long as they inspired in turn, that war could be won. Perhaps he did it because no one else would do it. Perhaps he did it because he was tired of dealing with Fakku constantly vanishing due to Bocaj blowing everything up. I think he did it so he could finally die and become one with his Goddess while simultaneously giving a middle finger to all NTR heretics. Regardless of the †˜why’s, that’s what happened, and that’s how the Winter Solstice is now a day of celebration for Vanilla Lovers everywhere,. iIt was the day we were shown that the fight could be won if only each and every one of us was willing to do our part and the day the greatest of us became a god. Remember kids, only you can stop NTR.