[Contest Entry] Fappy New Year

I’m pleased to submit my second submission, and with it I’d like to wish all the other contestants good luck. I had an enjoyable time writing these two up and I hope that the attention the Writing section has gotten won’t end with the contest. Thank you, and happy 2011!



The holiday rage had up and gone and yet the celebrations were hardly over. Another year was short to follow as 2010 was singing its last sonnet. Every FAKKU user was invited to Jacob’s FAKKU mansion in order to celebrate this shining event. The theme: Dress as yourself or your aspiring Japanese figure. Users were arriving left and right out of fancy and elaborate vehicles. Waar drove up recklessly onto the walkway and poured out of his car door with a flask in one hand. With a certain familiar green frog hat fastened around his head, he put on a smirk and stormed up to the large mansion doors, quite hammered and ready to join the party.

I had just arrived in a rented out Rolls-Royce, necessary to stay in character. The door opened and my buffed up black dress shoes touched the paved runway. Leading up; my dry-cleaned black tuxedo pants and cummerbund were suspendered from the waist and over my clean, white, rolled-up English dress shirt. My arms raised up to reveal my shiny blue boxing gloves and through them I tightened my special red tuxedo bowtie. With a quick double-check of parting my gelled hair and handlebar moustache, in addition to flipping a fresh red rose out of my glove, I felt smooth and ready to go.

Two maids from the FAKKU maid café bowed welcoming me as I stepped in the two large doors. It was both classy and chaotic and my eyes sparkled in delight. People were dressed as many different characters. There was a couple dressed as Haruhi and Kyon, a group dressed as the “K-ON!” music club, and not surprisingly there were a lot of “Bleach” and “Naruto” costumes. There were even newer anime characters such as Panty and Stocking. For the less intense crowd, many people sported their favorite FAKKU memorabilia such as “MEGA MILK” and the fool-proof “Hen Tie” shirts. A man cleverly dressed in a gray FAKKU shirt with a paper question mark mask. I had never seen a crowd better suited to represent the people of FAKKU than those who were present tonight. It was quite the dream come true as manly tears flowed down my cheeks.

People were socializing as a distant Waar stumbled through the party. He took a swig of his flask and made his way to the open bar. I walked passed many of the party guests attempting to identify one. Seeing the open bar, I thought I might start the night off with a Long Island Iced Tea. As the sight of the bar neared, my eyes widened. Radiant Momoka-chan was there in a sparkling red dress. Her stunning apparel embellished the marble counter and everything around her reflected her light and beauty. Her cotton-candy pink hair swirled in pigtails as elegant as her smile and her jewelry mirrored the light from the chandelier. A subtle ruby “F” earring adorned her right ear to match the “!” on her left.

Momoka was speaking to Waar who sat on the stool next to her. “Mumokah…If there was a doushin of you, I’d fap to it more than any other!” She brightened up with a smile and it was cute enough to make anyone blush. She felt flattered and thanked Waar, sipping her martini with olive. The bar maid placed a drink in front of Waar. “Ah, my gin n’ tonic! Thank you! Ta-ta, Mumokah!” Waar snagged the thick glass and downed it in one go, slamming it down and stumbling off. Momoka saw him off with a smile and I began to feel intoxicated by her purity. I approached the bar and made my move.

“Excuse me, Momoka?” She turned toward her other side to me “I’ve heard so much about you, you may call me Dudley for this fine evening.” I held my hand out to her and she brightened up with that sweet gentle smile. She placed her hand on mine and I raised it to my lips leaving a gentlemanly kiss on her fingers. She blushed innocently and seeing her in that endearing fashion was enough to melt my heart. As I saw her prepare to open her mouth to say something in return, an enormous brown horse head came between us. Its eyes were large and my jaw dropped, feeling them pierce directly into my soul. Its mouth was wide open as if it were prepared to neigh out a call of Armageddon, to be ridden by a rider of apocalypse and shatter the very essence of my pride. I felt an arm slither across my back and a strong hand descend upon my shoulder, clutching me with what seemed to be the fires of angry gods.

“Oh, I apologize, Dudley-san. This is…” My lips garbled sounds as all I could say was the beginning letter †˜J.’ “That’s right, this is Jacob. He’s very pleased to meet you!” I felt the hand and arm rebuke me as they removed themselves only to be cast down onto me in the form of a friendly pat on the back, chopping me into the floor. Jacob laid his other arm across Momoka as he slid the other off me and placed it triumphantly on his hip. Momoka made a cute blushing face and the two waved goodbye to me, having other guests to meet.

As they left, I felt the mental torture of Jacob’s presence to be too much as the astonishing Momoka dissipated from my view. My knees and hands hit the floor and I sulked there for the countdown until a dear friend found and greeted me. “Ah, there you are! You don’t look so good, Dudley-niisan. Let’s get you a nice drink to loosen you up! Happy New Year! May this year bring us more unforgettable memories than the last!” Platonic handed me a glass of champagne and I clinked it with him in silent tears.

“Indeed…” I muttered and downed the New Year with a haunting start.

[1,000 words including title]

I loved the little details like the F! earrings and the gray FAKKU shirt with a paper question mark mask.
THis made my day!

Boo! This is worse then my herpes outbreaks.

Boo! This is worse then my herpes outbreaks.

I'm very pleased it had that effect on you. Thank you for your kind words.

From the first half of the first paragraph, I was totally digging the story. Manly-tears of thorough enjoyment ran down my cheeks as I read this. This has got to be the best story I've read. Ishihara and Longevity are on a different level, of course - but as a really real contest entry, or as a really real story, for that matter, this wins, hands down.

You shed manly tears on my story? Your response brings me manly tears alone. I cannot express enough thanks for your kind thoughts. Thank you so much.

There are some good entries to this competition, and then there are some great entries to this competition, and this one falls soundly into the latter. I would love to win this contest, and still believe that I have a chance, but this is one entry I could accept losing to. Nothing else really needs to be said.

It's an honor to hear you say something so flattering. Really, I could justify the same thing for your submissions. I merely say may the most deserving submission win, and if that should be your submission, I would humbly and gratefully accept that as well. Thank you, kind sir.

This was good. Jacob's appearance was like a charming demon knight arriving to save his cherished one from the ever hungry eyes of the well. Let's be frank here. Lustful. LoL. Enjoyed it very much~

Happy Holidays ~

I liked the way you described everything thoroughly, your use of words were nice, plus it looks well written. Something tells that you may be the winner.

I felt bad for you on the story though.

Thank you very much, Wabi-san. Haha, I did try to make him appear booming. Happy holidays!

Rise-chan, thank you kindly for the sincere compliments. I simply do my best to convey a meaningful story, which may result in my expense as a character, haha. I believe we all hold a very equal chance at the competition, but to hear you say that makes my heart melt a little on the inside. Thank you so much for your kind words.

Mutual mustache rep.

from the first to forth paragraph are good... i give u thumbs up on that... because u include all the members of the fakku... most importantly jacob... i could be more interesting if put a twist after momoka left..;)

Hmm, an interesting proposition. I actually had plans for a much happier end where I did see the beauty of a much simpler girl, but that's the word limit for you.

Very nice imagery



Greatest compliment a girl can receive.

Haha, yes, I thought it would be nice. Don't take that as a misspelling of 'doujin,' though. I had some drunk slurring in there but cut back due to the limit.

Ah the dreaded word limit
In some ways it was good and we got some nice, readable stories out of it and we had to test our skills,

But... It kind makes you feel like you could have added that much more :)

It may be a lot easier said than done (especially considering the varying writing styles of everyone) but the word limit shouldn't really be a problem, as the piece has to be more streamlined overall. Maybe it's a matter of going in with the intention of the work being short and prosodic.

For example, the first draft of my second entry was 350 words. Start short and expand so if anything you'll feel happier about the end result instead of cut short.

Again, take this with a grain of salt, since everyone's personal writing style is naturally tuned to different facets of literature.

Quite an intriguing perspective, flipping the goal on the reverse by coming up with a short and lengthening it. I can only imagine the results I would have gotten, or the kind of story I would forge, but I've been more interested in telling meaningful, dramatic, and slightly humorous tales than creating small masterpieces. It's always been, as you say, my personal writing style. There's nothing salty about your response and as such, I'll learn from it.