[Contest Entry] Snowy Desperation
0
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
I'm pleased to have the opportunity to participate in this contest and thank the creators of it for finally drawing me into the forums after a long long lurking period. Happy holidays, and may this bring the Writing section the attraction it so deserves. Thank you.
It was deep in the holiday season and Jacob plopped in his chair in front of his laptop. Holidays had come early and Christmas wasn’t far away, but holidays were the last thing on Jacob’s mind after yesterday. Yesterday became a shock to Jacob when he was hanging about with dear Momoka, Miss FAKKU. She was ripped from his grasp by an evil and corrupt organization. The moment played over in his head like a shoddy discount movie theater.
---
“Jacob-san! Jacob! They’re taking me away! Don’t let them, please!” Momoka begged and pleaded with all her heart, clutching onto Jacob as if her life would end if she did not.
“Wha-! What are you talking about, Momoka? Who’s taking you away? Why?!” Jacob’s eyes dilated a bit, he couldn’t believe what she had said and without much respect for the moment, Jacob’s room door was busted in by armed suits.
“Don’t move! She’s coming with us! If you want her back, you’ll shut down that site forever by Christmas!” One of the guards approached them and grabbed Momoka. Jacob flinched in rage and reached out to take her back, but the suits cocked their pistols and the fear was enough to stop Jacob dead in his tracks. It was all over and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it. The main suit apparently leading the bunch lowered his dark shades and looked Jacob up and down, as if he knew exact who Jacob was. Then he made a hand signal and they all departed, Momoka with them. Collapsing on his knees after they left, Jacob sat on the floor and leaned back onto some furniture, wrapping his arms around his knees and his head between them. That night, it relentlessly began to snow outside.
---
Today Jacob sat and moped in front of his laptop, browsing around FAKKU and the always vibrant activity. How could he destroy such a thing in order to get Momoka back? The even greater question remained: How could he not for precious and sweet Momoka? Jacob reluctantly made a front page post with big bold FAKKU red letters: “FAKKU must disappear if Momoka is to be saved.” Following the title was a brief description of how she was taken and how this was the only way to save her. Jacob couldn’t take it, got up, and left to take a walk out in the snowy abyss.
Jacob was greeted on his walk by people who knew him, oblivious to what had happened. “Hey, Jacob. Nice snowfall, huh?” said a man with his girlfriend as they built a snowman together. He couldn’t respond or watch.
“Hey, Jacob. When’s the next update coming?” A person asked him while passing as a hello, but he paid less attention and tightened his coat.
“Jacob!...How are you gonna get her back?” Jacob stopped and looked in front of him as a young woman stood with concern on her face. He looked at her closely as she had her phone out. A bright and red “F!” identified the site on the screen. He looked slowly down to the ground and shivered before speaking softly.
“I…I don’t know.”
---
Jacob returned after being out all day thinking of what to do. He really didn’t want to destroy his greatest creation that brightened the lives of millions of people. However, everything reminded him of Momoka that day. The twin-tailed snowwoman in front of a house, the arrangement of red lights on another, even the red †˜Mocha’ font at the coffee shop. He took off his winter clothes and plopped down on his chair just like when the day begun. It was 11:30pm Christmas eve and he couldn’t hold off any longer.
Jacob woke the laptop up from sleep and refreshed the front page post on reflex. He sat there awestruck. It had accumulated 50 pages in the span of a day. He began to feel his heartbeat rise as he read each comment, some crying over the fact, some enraged. Some begged him not to close it, while others ask him why he would put a website in front of their blessed mascot goddess, Momoka-chan.
Jacob was truly touched, reading through the comments with endearment. The clock revealed that he had 10 minutes left until midnight and he couldn’t stop reading them. He felt the affection of all FAKKU’s forum members speaking their mind and bringing together what he hoped in a community that was unique and made him proud. But for dear Momoka, he was forced to end it just as it all had begun.
Five minutes left and Jacob sighed deeply, about to flip the kill switch to his beloved creation. He peered out his window at the dark blizzard. As if it were too late, his eye caught the screen again and he noticed his messages. Although most were pleading, the most recent caught his attention: “Happy Holidays, Jacob. Enjoy the present.” He brought it up immediately and it read as thus:
“Dear FAKKU founder,
I enjoyed seeing you in your room in person for the first time, although the moment could have been on better terms. You’ll be happy to know I’m sending you a gift before this night is through so…”
Jacob stopped paying attention and reading it as he saw dear Momoka at his door through the window. His mouth opened slightly, not being able to believe it. It was a holiday miracle and he got up as fast as he could without putting any winter gear on and running to the door. He opened it and the two fell into each other’s arms, holding each other in tears as the snow fell upon them. He received nothing more than he had wanted and it was more than enough.
Jacob’s laptop with the message still shone bright at the window…
“…so enjoy her and never doubt your many friends in high places. Thank you for the H over the years.
Regards,
TheDoubleAgent1337
FakkuBelievingInstitution”
[1,000 words including title]
Snowy Desperation
It was deep in the holiday season and Jacob plopped in his chair in front of his laptop. Holidays had come early and Christmas wasn’t far away, but holidays were the last thing on Jacob’s mind after yesterday. Yesterday became a shock to Jacob when he was hanging about with dear Momoka, Miss FAKKU. She was ripped from his grasp by an evil and corrupt organization. The moment played over in his head like a shoddy discount movie theater.
---
“Jacob-san! Jacob! They’re taking me away! Don’t let them, please!” Momoka begged and pleaded with all her heart, clutching onto Jacob as if her life would end if she did not.
“Wha-! What are you talking about, Momoka? Who’s taking you away? Why?!” Jacob’s eyes dilated a bit, he couldn’t believe what she had said and without much respect for the moment, Jacob’s room door was busted in by armed suits.
“Don’t move! She’s coming with us! If you want her back, you’ll shut down that site forever by Christmas!” One of the guards approached them and grabbed Momoka. Jacob flinched in rage and reached out to take her back, but the suits cocked their pistols and the fear was enough to stop Jacob dead in his tracks. It was all over and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it. The main suit apparently leading the bunch lowered his dark shades and looked Jacob up and down, as if he knew exact who Jacob was. Then he made a hand signal and they all departed, Momoka with them. Collapsing on his knees after they left, Jacob sat on the floor and leaned back onto some furniture, wrapping his arms around his knees and his head between them. That night, it relentlessly began to snow outside.
---
Today Jacob sat and moped in front of his laptop, browsing around FAKKU and the always vibrant activity. How could he destroy such a thing in order to get Momoka back? The even greater question remained: How could he not for precious and sweet Momoka? Jacob reluctantly made a front page post with big bold FAKKU red letters: “FAKKU must disappear if Momoka is to be saved.” Following the title was a brief description of how she was taken and how this was the only way to save her. Jacob couldn’t take it, got up, and left to take a walk out in the snowy abyss.
Jacob was greeted on his walk by people who knew him, oblivious to what had happened. “Hey, Jacob. Nice snowfall, huh?” said a man with his girlfriend as they built a snowman together. He couldn’t respond or watch.
“Hey, Jacob. When’s the next update coming?” A person asked him while passing as a hello, but he paid less attention and tightened his coat.
“Jacob!...How are you gonna get her back?” Jacob stopped and looked in front of him as a young woman stood with concern on her face. He looked at her closely as she had her phone out. A bright and red “F!” identified the site on the screen. He looked slowly down to the ground and shivered before speaking softly.
“I…I don’t know.”
---
Jacob returned after being out all day thinking of what to do. He really didn’t want to destroy his greatest creation that brightened the lives of millions of people. However, everything reminded him of Momoka that day. The twin-tailed snowwoman in front of a house, the arrangement of red lights on another, even the red †˜Mocha’ font at the coffee shop. He took off his winter clothes and plopped down on his chair just like when the day begun. It was 11:30pm Christmas eve and he couldn’t hold off any longer.
Jacob woke the laptop up from sleep and refreshed the front page post on reflex. He sat there awestruck. It had accumulated 50 pages in the span of a day. He began to feel his heartbeat rise as he read each comment, some crying over the fact, some enraged. Some begged him not to close it, while others ask him why he would put a website in front of their blessed mascot goddess, Momoka-chan.
Jacob was truly touched, reading through the comments with endearment. The clock revealed that he had 10 minutes left until midnight and he couldn’t stop reading them. He felt the affection of all FAKKU’s forum members speaking their mind and bringing together what he hoped in a community that was unique and made him proud. But for dear Momoka, he was forced to end it just as it all had begun.
Five minutes left and Jacob sighed deeply, about to flip the kill switch to his beloved creation. He peered out his window at the dark blizzard. As if it were too late, his eye caught the screen again and he noticed his messages. Although most were pleading, the most recent caught his attention: “Happy Holidays, Jacob. Enjoy the present.” He brought it up immediately and it read as thus:
“Dear FAKKU founder,
I enjoyed seeing you in your room in person for the first time, although the moment could have been on better terms. You’ll be happy to know I’m sending you a gift before this night is through so…”
Jacob stopped paying attention and reading it as he saw dear Momoka at his door through the window. His mouth opened slightly, not being able to believe it. It was a holiday miracle and he got up as fast as he could without putting any winter gear on and running to the door. He opened it and the two fell into each other’s arms, holding each other in tears as the snow fell upon them. He received nothing more than he had wanted and it was more than enough.
Jacob’s laptop with the message still shone bright at the window…
“…so enjoy her and never doubt your many friends in high places. Thank you for the H over the years.
Regards,
TheDoubleAgent1337
FakkuBelievingInstitution”
[1,000 words including title]
0
Well written, humorous ending, AND believable emotions and interactions?!
Fantastic job on this, I think it's really good.
Fantastic job on this, I think it's really good.
0
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
Thank you, really. I'm quite pleased with it after seeing it displayed as it is.
0
This is the first time, thus far, that I have taken some time out to read one of the entries, therefore I don't have anything to compare it to, yet (Not that I'm one of the judges, anyway, lol). Nonetheless, it is just as President Cleaveland says:
Fantastic job on this, I think it's really good.
Only thing is that, of course, having just 1000 words at his disposal, it comes up a bit short. But at least this rule allows us to go through more entries, which I'm sure I will, now that I'm into this reading
GroverCleaveland wrote...
Well written, humorous ending, AND believable emotions and interactions?! Fantastic job on this, I think it's really good.
Only thing is that, of course, having just 1000 words at his disposal, it comes up a bit short. But at least this rule allows us to go through more entries, which I'm sure I will, now that I'm into this reading
0
I loved it! It's really nice and I think I'm in love with your writing style. It has cuteness and humor so yeah. Good job.
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I must say, the feelings you bring out of the characters are simply... nothing short of amazing. This was really cute. I especially loved the ending. <3
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Xenon
FAKKU Writer
Thank you for taking the time to read it, Kuu. Even if you do prefer epic randomness. Much appreciated.
Thank you kindly, Haburi-chan. I'm truly honored to hear you say such kind words, really.
Thank you, Sushimi. I'm very happy you enjoyed it and appreciate the wonderful compliment.
Thank you kindly, Haburi-chan. I'm truly honored to hear you say such kind words, really.
Thank you, Sushimi. I'm very happy you enjoyed it and appreciate the wonderful compliment.