Was it at a funeral or a marriage? There was crying, but was it out of joy or sadness? I just know I was at a old church surrounded by graves. The people there.. I can’t remember.. Though I don’t really mind either way. Faces of people who I don’t know. Sad faces or happy.. Its not like I care. I cant remember much about that day. I just know what everyone told me. I disappeared that day, and one month later I was found in a park on the other side of the country.
Every night… every single night I would see her. Long white hair that fell to her feet, sharp silver eyes that could pierce the heart, a form of a grown woman as if blessed by a goddess of fertility with white skin that was pale as the moon. She sat on a stone bench and stared off into the distance. A picture so perfect only the a master artisan could have dreamt it up, or could it have all been a dream? Maybe I was awake… or maybe nothing is real… She looked like an angel, but there was something about her. It felt like… danger, loneliness, heartache, fear, love and death.
She looked up at me and smiled. A smile… Normally a smile represented happiness.. But.. that’s not what I felt when I saw hers. My body would shake uncontrollably just thinking about it. I would wake in a cold sweat. She was so clear to me. She was so beautiful that you would think she was an angel. Why would a person who looked like that want with me… was it something I had? I had nothing to my name, nothing I owned that was valuable. Was it my blood? That couldn’t be, my bloodline consists of simple farmers. It’s not like I came from a long line of Magic users, or demon exorcists.
Like those things really existed. I lived my life like any other person in the small city I was in. You wake up, got ready for the day, went to school or to work, hanged out with friends, go home, sleep, eat, maybe not in that order but that was what days in a simple life was like. Isn’t that what normal? You would see things on TV or in movies. Romance, horror, comedy. Stuff like that, but no one really lives like that. Well at least no one I knew.
I only ever wanted to live a simple and peaceful life. I was often told I was born in the wrong era. I would day dream about living in a vast forest. Living off of nature, being alone with nature. All by myself… Though would wanting such a life make me abnormal? My thoughts swelled up inside of me a I walked out my front door, a one bedroom apartment, where I lived by myself. Maybe this makes me abnormal? A sixteen year old living by himself in the middle of a city. Even though it was a small city, it was a city nonetheless.
At least that’s what my teachers told me. I didn’t find it weird at all. Though I thought it would be better not to mention it to my fellow classmates. Well its not like I had anyone to really talk to. Everyday I sat in the back of the class next to the window. Staring outside into the nothingness that was the blue sky. “What are you looking at?” Ask a high pitched voice.
I turned my head, “…” A girls face was right in my face. “Is she going to kiss me or something?” I thought to myself. She continued to stare, “what is she waiting for?” I sighed to myself. Her brown eyes seem to melt as they stared into mine. “…” I stayed silent, “maybe she†˜ll go away if I stay quiet.”
“You know, its really rude not to answer someone when they ask you a question.” Her petite little face which had a sign of curiosity a moment ago now seemed to be upset. Her eyebrows narrowed and her eyes were stern. “…” What did she expect of me? I never talk to anyone in class. What makes her think I’ll suddenly answer a question someone asks me out of the blue?
“Fine, be a stuck up jerk!” She stomped away toward a cluttered group of girls. They all looked up as she joined them. Then they looked at me and stuck out their tongues. “What a jerk! You would think he would at least talk to me, after I went over there as a courtesy.” The was obviously the girl who tried to talk to me. “What do you expect? We told you he was a snob! He probably think he†˜s better then us or something.” That went right through my heart. Its not like I wanted to come off as that. I just cant handle girls. Its weird, I don’t think I was always like that. Something must have changed me.
Suddenly my arm began to itch. “Ugh not again,” my skin turned red, it was so unbearably itchy that I couldn’t help but scratch it. The itch only got worse. Before long my skin began to bleed as I drove my nails into them, it even began to come off. “AHHHHH!” One of the girls whom of which were talking about me at that very moment noticed a stream of blood running down my left side. “Funny, I didn’t feel anything.”
Class didn’t even start yet, heck school didn’t technically start yet, and yet here I am in the nurses office with my arm covered with bandages lying down on the bed that was in there. I looked at my right hand, there was dry blood and pieces of flesh under my nails. I sniffed my finger tips. It smells like blood… obviously… I placed my fingers into my mouth and sucked on them, and I made sure to use my tongue to clean under my nails. “It tastes like dry turkey.”
“That’s gross you know? Lying down by yourself in silence and sucking on the crap that’s under your fingernails.” The school nurse, barely out of medical school stood by to door looking down at me with my fingers in my mouth. “…” I slowly removed my saliva covered fingers from my lips. “Oh look at that, perfectly clean aren†˜t they? That’s just gross. You know that your eating you own body right?”
I just simply wiped my hand on my shirt and went back to looking out the window. “…” The nurse, whose name a I could not remember soon gave up trying to get a response out of me and took her seat at her desk. My left arm began to itch again. “I just have to deal with it this time.” My arm felt like it was covered in mosquitoes or some kind of insect that crawled around on your skin. Though before long it went away.
The nurse was on a personal computer that sat on top of her desk. The Desk was decorated with pictures and had stalks of paper and folders. There was a nameplate that read, “School Nurse: Athena Caroline.“ Stood out in bold gold. “What a pretty name.” Her appearance matched her name. Beautiful and elegant. Though she kept her hair tied up in a bun. Her glasses adorned her face like a pair of socks draped over a fireplace.
A pitch black room, Silver eyes opening slowly. You would think by now I would be used to it. No, its still as unsettling as it was a few years ago. What would change it so that it wasn’t? Every night its her, she just stares at me from the shadows, from the dark abyss.
“When will you come back home to me Koibito-kun?”
