FATE / INFERNO CANTO.2
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canto.2
right below
just scroll it down.
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FATE / INFERNO
CANTO.1
- the surface -
death
II
right below
just scroll it down.
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FATE / INFERNO
CANTO.1
- the surface -
death
I
through the midpoint of the journey of my life. i found myself in this dark forest.
but my clear path was lost. i mean. how hard it is to say. what was this forest? savage and rough. it is like the true meaning of death as i look upon the surroundings of corpses. but the better treat. i found the soul that i have seek. with death on her side together with the other souls that death had taken. so as i follow death's path towards the inferno where all the souls have imprisoned there.
but my clear path was lost. i mean. how hard it is to say. what was this forest? savage and rough. it is like the true meaning of death as i look upon the surroundings of corpses. but the better treat. i found the soul that i have seek. with death on her side together with the other souls that death had taken. so as i follow death's path towards the inferno where all the souls have imprisoned there.
II
after my long journey to follow the soul that i have seek. i have rested. until then in the midnight of dark with fires that light the darkness ive awakened. and what i saw is a panther with the eyes of gold with a frighting stare. so i slowly stand and pulled my sword. with an angry stare the panther roars as he saw my weapon. he attack me first and i stab him in the stomach and kicked him back. but the panther is unable to stand and to gain his strength. the panther is still standing with blood lost and the panther walks away in the woods with his blood spills in the ground. my armor and sword is soaked with blood. and so as i rest to continue my journey.
III
after that. in the blackest morning in the journey of my life. i saw a great black cloud
and a huge pit that leads towards hell. and right in front of me is the soul that i have seek that soul is my murdered sister "REBECA" she stares at hells pit as she prays for the devil she wants to marry?. just like what i thought shes been taken and controlled by a dark force. then suddenly came a black figure is death with dark robe and giant scythe. and i quickly ready to pull my sword as i watched the unholy entity as death ready to swing his unholy scythe towards my sisters soul. its now or never i throw my sword to death's head as he disappear in a pile of smoke. and death is no more and my sister's soul is falling towards hell. as i jump and grab death's scythe. so my journey to the the 9 circles of hell begins.
and a huge pit that leads towards hell. and right in front of me is the soul that i have seek that soul is my murdered sister "REBECA" she stares at hells pit as she prays for the devil she wants to marry?. just like what i thought shes been taken and controlled by a dark force. then suddenly came a black figure is death with dark robe and giant scythe. and i quickly ready to pull my sword as i watched the unholy entity as death ready to swing his unholy scythe towards my sisters soul. its now or never i throw my sword to death's head as he disappear in a pile of smoke. and death is no more and my sister's soul is falling towards hell. as i jump and grab death's scythe. so my journey to the the 9 circles of hell begins.
IV
THROUGH HERE IS THE WAY TO THE CITY OF FIRES.
THROUGH HERE THE WAY IS TO ETERNAL DULL.
THROUGH HERE THE WAY AMONG THE PEOPLE LOST.
JUSTICE UNSIGHTED IN MY SUBLIMED CREATOR.
CREATED ME DIVINE INHERITANCE THE HIGHEST WISDOM AND THE PRIMAL LOVE.
BEFORE ME THEY ARE NO CREATED THINGS. ONLY A TURNED AND
I ETERNAL LOST. ALL HOPE ABANDON YE WHO ENTER IN.
THROUGH HERE THE WAY IS TO ETERNAL DULL.
THROUGH HERE THE WAY AMONG THE PEOPLE LOST.
JUSTICE UNSIGHTED IN MY SUBLIMED CREATOR.
CREATED ME DIVINE INHERITANCE THE HIGHEST WISDOM AND THE PRIMAL LOVE.
BEFORE ME THEY ARE NO CREATED THINGS. ONLY A TURNED AND
I ETERNAL LOST. ALL HOPE ABANDON YE WHO ENTER IN.
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[ zeph ]
thanks man! *bow*
[ orpheus ]
i like the last part though. but i edit some of the parts
that you didnt understand like 2 and 3 you should re-read it! and thanks again!
thanks man! *bow*
[ orpheus ]
i like the last part though. but i edit some of the parts
that you didnt understand like 2 and 3 you should re-read it! and thanks again!
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DAMIEN! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!
....he's not here, dammit.
Anyways, it was pretty much applaudable. Although everything would've made more sense if you would've explained a bit more.
For example, is this Saber "Arturia"? Because if it's her, then everything that you've wrote would've made no sense whatsoever.
I can't give out a score till you make that question clear.
....he's not here, dammit.
Anyways, it was pretty much applaudable. Although everything would've made more sense if you would've explained a bit more.
For example, is this Saber "Arturia"? Because if it's her, then everything that you've wrote would've made no sense whatsoever.
I can't give out a score till you make that question clear.
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Uzumaki101 wrote...
DAMIEN! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!....he's not here, dammit.
Anyways, it was pretty much applaudable. Although everything would've made more sense if you would've explained a bit more.
For example, is this Saber "Arturia"? Because if it's her, then everything that you've wrote would've made no sense whatsoever.
I can't give out a score till you make that question clear.
her name is Elizabeth saber
a crusader and a mercenary
that defies death and fighting against
impossible odds. she is not Arturia Pendragon.
this saber is different than the original.
shes has no holy powers the only power she
has is death's scythe a demonic blade
that can pierce through ghostly souls and demonic flesh.
and finally this saber is brutal
she can break bones and rip demons head off
with her bare hands without using magic
like kratos from GOD OF WAR.
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Hmm. If it comes to that, then 8/10.
Some things are still unclear, not gonna mention what. But i'm hoping everything will be clear after the story is finished
Some things are still unclear, not gonna mention what. But i'm hoping everything will be clear after the story is finished
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FATE/INFERNO
CANTO.2
- limbo -
the great air battle between
the dragons of hell
I
falling towards hell and this fog around me
and the falling people in the heavens
that punished by god by commiting a great sin.
and i am different i wasn't
punished by god. i just entered here to rescue my sister
and free her soul from this unholy place. and
with me is death's reaping scythe that i have stolen
after i kill death. and i will use this
against the demons and the evil spirits and all
that is unholy.
CANTO.2
- limbo -
the great air battle between
the dragons of hell
I
falling towards hell and this fog around me
and the falling people in the heavens
that punished by god by commiting a great sin.
and i am different i wasn't
punished by god. i just entered here to rescue my sister
and free her soul from this unholy place. and
with me is death's reaping scythe that i have stolen
after i kill death. and i will use this
against the demons and the evil spirits and all
that is unholy.
II
till the fog fades away
i saw i great plane of fires and the skies
that engulf with flames and cloud ashes.and i hear
screams of torcherd people. i can see all of them here in the sky
and i see a gigantic castle with giant chains attached to it. and the ground
is like a torcher chamber like city.
till the fog fades away
i saw i great plane of fires and the skies
that engulf with flames and cloud ashes.and i hear
screams of torcherd people. i can see all of them here in the sky
and i see a gigantic castle with giant chains attached to it. and the ground
is like a torcher chamber like city.
III
suddenly i saw something flying towards me.
good lord....its a dragon! bloody hell! i cannot do combat while im in air.
but ill use the scythe while the dragon flying towards me.
the dragon open his jaws and i stab the dragons mouth the dragon
roars in agony and the dragons head waving and throw me back.
suddenly the scythe's blade changing into a blade like sword.
i aim the scythe towards the dragon and suddenly it shoots like a harpoon.
the scythe can stretch? now thats something! it pierced through the dragons heart
i pull the dragon towards me and sliced it in half.
bloody hell this scythe kicks back a bitch! wait three dragons aproaching!
suddenly i saw something flying towards me.
good lord....its a dragon! bloody hell! i cannot do combat while im in air.
but ill use the scythe while the dragon flying towards me.
the dragon open his jaws and i stab the dragons mouth the dragon
roars in agony and the dragons head waving and throw me back.
suddenly the scythe's blade changing into a blade like sword.
i aim the scythe towards the dragon and suddenly it shoots like a harpoon.
the scythe can stretch? now thats something! it pierced through the dragons heart
i pull the dragon towards me and sliced it in half.
bloody hell this scythe kicks back a bitch! wait three dragons aproaching!
IV
one dragon try eat me but i avoid its jaws
by stretching the scythe towards the other dragon and stab its stomach
and slice it and i jump again but the other dragon heading towards me
but i slice its head off. damn! i almost at the ground!
i change the scythe's blade into hook like blade.
as i dive towards the ground i wait till the time comes.
and then i saw a concrete stone like door i quickly stretch the scythe
and swing towards the ground safely at last.
to be continued....
i hope you like the story!
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Holy Shit, the song changed my mood to read this.
Good chapter. The actions sequences could be better or at least polished. It was good. but the way you portrayed it... well, it was kinda stiff.
And, most importantly, fix the sentences and typos. there are tons in there.
...Now that I mention it, I re-read the 1st one and saw that there are also a few sentences that needs to be fixed, although not as much as the one above.
Overall, it's around 6-7/10
Good chapter. The actions sequences could be better or at least polished. It was good. but the way you portrayed it... well, it was kinda stiff.
And, most importantly, fix the sentences and typos. there are tons in there.
...Now that I mention it, I re-read the 1st one and saw that there are also a few sentences that needs to be fixed, although not as much as the one above.
Overall, it's around 6-7/10
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mangaka350 wrote...
Uzumaki101 wrote...
DAMIEN! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!....he's not here, dammit.
Anyways, it was pretty much applaudable. Although everything would've made more sense if you would've explained a bit more.
For example, is this Saber "Arturia"? Because if it's her, then everything that you've wrote would've made no sense whatsoever.
I can't give out a score till you make that question clear.
her name is Elizabeth saber
a crusader and a mercenary
that defies death and fighting against
impossible odds. she is not Arturia Pendragon.
this saber is different than the original.
shes has no holy powers the only power she
has is death's scythe a demonic blade
that can pierce through ghostly souls and demonic flesh.
and finally this saber is brutal
she can break bones and rip demons head off
with her bare hands without using magic
like kratos from GOD OF WAR.
If I knew this in the first place then I would of understood it the first time I read it...lol
But I did like it ^___^
