I"ll never leave you again.
2
Kuri
Lover of Dark and Tan
This is my first time here so...here I go. This short story is about two "lovers".
So what do you think? Please leave comments. Thank you.
Title:I'll never leave you again.
In a small village lived two kids,a boy and a girl.
These kids knew each other since the day they were born.
Nothing kept these kids down,they both were happy being together,but one day...
Everything changed,the boy found out that the girl was moving away.
So on her last day the boy gave her a bracelet,a bracelet with his initial on it.
As the boy sees the girl and her family off,the boy with a smile shouts,
"I promise some day I'll find you and when I do we can be together!"
The girl with tears running down her cheeks yells,
"Its a promise!"
13 years later...
The boy who was now in his late teen years enters a town trying to find the girl who he made a promise to.
Tried and hungry he enters a bar,takes a seat and asks for a waiter.
A fine young lady approaches him to take an order.
Minutes later the young lady serves him his food.
Realizing her working time was coming to a close she took a seat across from him and started a conversation.
The young lady asks,"What brings you here?"
The boy replies,"I'm looking for someone...someone important."
The young lady then ask,"Is this "person" that important?"
The boy then says,"Yeah this person is important. Years ago I made a promise."
The young lady interested with his story asked,"Are you going to keep it?"
The boy with a smile says proudly,"Of course im going to keep it! And nothing is going to stand in my way!"
The young girl giggles,"Well than I hope you find this "person".
"Thank you",the boy says.
"Oh across this bar is a inn you should rest up there.",says the young lady as she walks away.
The next day...
Its late after noon and the boy comes out of the inn. With nothing to do he heads to the market place.
The boy looks among the goods and bumps into that same young lady from the bar.
Being the kind person the boy is he offers a helping hand and helps the young lady with the bags.
The lady suggest to take a little rest in the park.
The boy remembering about yesterday ask the young lady,"Why do you care if I keep my promise or not?"
The young lady shocked says,"Well because years ago this boy gave me this bracelet
and promise me that he will find me."
The boy's heart raced and he ask,"Can I see the bracelet?"
The young lady shows him the bracelet and with widen eyes the boy says,"Thats the bracelet I made!"
The young lady with her face of doubt says,"Can you prove it to me?"
"Of course I can!",says the boy and brings out a dog tag with his initials.
The young ladys eyes widen as she compares initials and after a while tears run down her cheeks and makes a mad dash to her house. The boy follows her half way up a hill to her house where the young lady trips near her house door.
The boy ask,"Are you okay? Why did you run?"
The lady then says,"Because your the boy many years ago I made a promise to."
The boy then says,"Why run then?"
A brief silence is place upon them.
The girl says,"Because we cant be together."
"Huh?" The boy wonders.
"Days ago I got a letter from my mother stating that I'll get married this month.
Thats why I can't be with you.",says the young lady as she crys.
The boy filled with sadness runs up the hill to the top and breaks down crying.
He pounds the ground as tears overwhelms his eyes. He then notice a tree with a broken swing laying on the ground next to it. The boy takes the rope off the swing,climbs the tree and prepares to kill himself. Meanwhile half way down the hill the boy's friend gets a letter that stated:"Under unseen circumstance the wedding has been callled off. I'm sorry my daughter I'll try to find someone again,sincerely Mother.
With happiness the girls runs out of the house to the top and notice a figure high in the tree.Its the boy looking at the sun set and notices the girl. The boy with tears start to run down his eyes yells,"I pray your life will be full of happiness...make a promise to me to live a happy life!"
And with with a smile walks off the branch...a calm wind blows and the boys body hangs.
Terrified the girl runs up the hill and trys to pull the boys hanging body.
"Please don't leave me!"the girl yells.
The tree branch breaks and the boys body falls.
The girl removes the rope,"Please don't leave me! I don't want to be alone!"
....
....
....
You wake up from that dream just remembering that you were in a car crash. You then notice a girl crying next to you holding your hand.
You then say,"Why are you crying?"
She quickly looks at you then says,"Don't scare me like that! I only have you...please don't leave me....I don't want to be alone."
That last line widens your eyes. You move your hand to her cheeks and with a smile you say "Don't worry, I'll never leave you again."
In a small village lived two kids,a boy and a girl.
These kids knew each other since the day they were born.
Nothing kept these kids down,they both were happy being together,but one day...
Everything changed,the boy found out that the girl was moving away.
So on her last day the boy gave her a bracelet,a bracelet with his initial on it.
As the boy sees the girl and her family off,the boy with a smile shouts,
"I promise some day I'll find you and when I do we can be together!"
The girl with tears running down her cheeks yells,
"Its a promise!"
13 years later...
The boy who was now in his late teen years enters a town trying to find the girl who he made a promise to.
Tried and hungry he enters a bar,takes a seat and asks for a waiter.
A fine young lady approaches him to take an order.
Minutes later the young lady serves him his food.
Realizing her working time was coming to a close she took a seat across from him and started a conversation.
The young lady asks,"What brings you here?"
The boy replies,"I'm looking for someone...someone important."
The young lady then ask,"Is this "person" that important?"
The boy then says,"Yeah this person is important. Years ago I made a promise."
The young lady interested with his story asked,"Are you going to keep it?"
The boy with a smile says proudly,"Of course im going to keep it! And nothing is going to stand in my way!"
The young girl giggles,"Well than I hope you find this "person".
"Thank you",the boy says.
"Oh across this bar is a inn you should rest up there.",says the young lady as she walks away.
The next day...
Its late after noon and the boy comes out of the inn. With nothing to do he heads to the market place.
The boy looks among the goods and bumps into that same young lady from the bar.
Being the kind person the boy is he offers a helping hand and helps the young lady with the bags.
The lady suggest to take a little rest in the park.
The boy remembering about yesterday ask the young lady,"Why do you care if I keep my promise or not?"
The young lady shocked says,"Well because years ago this boy gave me this bracelet
and promise me that he will find me."
The boy's heart raced and he ask,"Can I see the bracelet?"
The young lady shows him the bracelet and with widen eyes the boy says,"Thats the bracelet I made!"
The young lady with her face of doubt says,"Can you prove it to me?"
"Of course I can!",says the boy and brings out a dog tag with his initials.
The young ladys eyes widen as she compares initials and after a while tears run down her cheeks and makes a mad dash to her house. The boy follows her half way up a hill to her house where the young lady trips near her house door.
The boy ask,"Are you okay? Why did you run?"
The lady then says,"Because your the boy many years ago I made a promise to."
The boy then says,"Why run then?"
A brief silence is place upon them.
The girl says,"Because we cant be together."
"Huh?" The boy wonders.
"Days ago I got a letter from my mother stating that I'll get married this month.
Thats why I can't be with you.",says the young lady as she crys.
The boy filled with sadness runs up the hill to the top and breaks down crying.
He pounds the ground as tears overwhelms his eyes. He then notice a tree with a broken swing laying on the ground next to it. The boy takes the rope off the swing,climbs the tree and prepares to kill himself. Meanwhile half way down the hill the boy's friend gets a letter that stated:"Under unseen circumstance the wedding has been callled off. I'm sorry my daughter I'll try to find someone again,sincerely Mother.
With happiness the girls runs out of the house to the top and notice a figure high in the tree.Its the boy looking at the sun set and notices the girl. The boy with tears start to run down his eyes yells,"I pray your life will be full of happiness...make a promise to me to live a happy life!"
And with with a smile walks off the branch...a calm wind blows and the boys body hangs.
Terrified the girl runs up the hill and trys to pull the boys hanging body.
"Please don't leave me!"the girl yells.
The tree branch breaks and the boys body falls.
The girl removes the rope,"Please don't leave me! I don't want to be alone!"
....
....
....
You wake up from that dream just remembering that you were in a car crash. You then notice a girl crying next to you holding your hand.
You then say,"Why are you crying?"
She quickly looks at you then says,"Don't scare me like that! I only have you...please don't leave me....I don't want to be alone."
That last line widens your eyes. You move your hand to her cheeks and with a smile you say "Don't worry, I'll never leave you again."
So what do you think? Please leave comments. Thank you.
0
hi first
the story is not bad but very easy to get lose and the word u pick i think is a little wrong.
the story is not bad but very easy to get lose and the word u pick i think is a little wrong.
0
Kuri
Lover of Dark and Tan
kinre wrote...
hi firstthe story is not bad but very easy to get lose and the word u pick i think is a little wrong.
Thank you kinre-san now I can improve more.
0
Its pretty good. Makes me want to write one. But it seems a tad redudant. He said, she said, he said, she said. There are a couple of alternatives but itd be better to put more things like spoke, shouted, shivered, and other things. They add a lot of emotion into the story without actions, which makes the story altogether seem a little more real.
1
Kuri
Lover of Dark and Tan
church wrote...
Its pretty good. Makes me want to write one. But it seems a tad redudant. He said, she said, he said, she said. There are a couple of alternatives but itd be better to put more things like spoke, shouted, shivered, and other things. They add a lot of emotion into the story without actions, which makes the story altogether seem a little more real.Damn,thank you so much church-san. Your advice will greatly help me. I'd give u a Rep+,but I can't right now.
