Infinite Cipher

hmm that was interesting ill give u that...but that's all i can really say...it wasn't bad but it wasn't great either...maybe i just need more lol

Thanks for the feedback, and thanks for reading. I see your point, this isn't much except maybe a teaser at what's to come, so I guess it's hard to form a true opinion. I'll try to have another chapter up soon, and we'll see how that goes.

Absolutely loved the forward, it definately made me want to read more.
For some reason when he started confessing to her and talking so long, that kinda...seemed to me a bit...I can't really think to explain it other than by that time I had already started to build his character up in my mind and it took me by surprise. I guess I don't see usual characters who confess long sentences to someone and then are still focused on in the main story. It's defiantely interesting, it's nice to see a different side for a story. Looking forward to more :)

This story has a lot of promise, though I have to wonder if it's going to be a gloomy read the whole way through. It's difficult to tell from just this first part what the general feel of the story is going to be, quirky, depressing, fun, hopeful, grim, etc... That's not a criticism, I'm just telling you that you shouldn't wait too long to establish a general FEEL of the story. Once you do, try to stick with it. Start as you mean to go on, as it were.

One small correction... If they're in the same grade, she wouldn't call him "-sempai". That's something you call someone who's of a higher grade than yourself. She'd call him "-san" or even "-kun" if she knew him decently well.

Good story so far! I'm looking forward to reading more. ( '.')b

Thanks for all your feedback, I'll write the second part this friday, when I finally have a day off from work and enough time to finish it up.



Good call, thanks for that! At first I had Konami as a 2nd year, but somewhere between rewrites I changed it, but I clearly didn't change everything pertaining to it, so stuff like that happens.