Is Isolation That Bad
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[[ Is writing a single poem for each post allowed? ]]
Here I am
Again
On Fakku!
Reading stories
...
Perverted stories.
It's midnight
Again
And I feel
Drunk
From the loud rain outside.
My sister crashes into
My room
And tells me to be quiet
On my typing
And singing.
She doesn't
Want the other tenants,
Especially the one below us,
To complain again.
She's always the one to
See him.
I,
On the other hand,
hide.
She said,
"You should see
Other people, onii-san."
I said, "Yes."
But don't plan to.
It's just to
Shut her up.
My ex said the same.
She said, "I'm happy that
You're always thinking about me,
Having only me
In your mind.
The only woman
In your life.
But it's not good.
The way you live
Is not good."
"Is isolation that bad?"
I said to her.
"Yes," she said.
But here I am
On Fakku!
With people
Who seem to have no
Qualms
With isolation.
We haven't killed
Anyone.
Haven't raped
Anyone.
Have not even
Stolen a candy
In a 24-hour store,
Although that one time
Was out of
Impulse.
Isolation is not that bad.
My friends,
Old friends,
Seem to think it's
Not
A problem for me.
One said,
I forgot his name,
"Still the same old
Bastard
That we all love."
Another said,
"Haha.
Keep up the
Good work."
The next one said,
"When
Will you grow
up?"
I find them
On facebook
From time to
Time. They
See me still the same.
Normal.
And I don't seem to
Be in
Need of them.
I only read their posts,
And reply
Whenever.
If I'd
Hunger of
Them,
Then what she said
Made sense.
Isolation
Is
Bad.
But I don't seem to
Be in
Need of them.
I hate it though
When they
Catch me online.
They talk
To me
And say things
I've done
That I've
Forgotten.
I just want to
Be alone.
Even from
Who I was.
I find comfort being
In isolation.
Here I am
Again
On Fakku!
Reading stories
...
Perverted stories.
It's midnight
Again
And I feel
Drunk
From the loud rain outside.
My sister crashes into
My room
And tells me to be quiet
On my typing
And singing.
She doesn't
Want the other tenants,
Especially the one below us,
To complain again.
She's always the one to
See him.
I,
On the other hand,
hide.
She said,
"You should see
Other people, onii-san."
I said, "Yes."
But don't plan to.
It's just to
Shut her up.
My ex said the same.
She said, "I'm happy that
You're always thinking about me,
Having only me
In your mind.
The only woman
In your life.
But it's not good.
The way you live
Is not good."
"Is isolation that bad?"
I said to her.
"Yes," she said.
But here I am
On Fakku!
With people
Who seem to have no
Qualms
With isolation.
We haven't killed
Anyone.
Haven't raped
Anyone.
Have not even
Stolen a candy
In a 24-hour store,
Although that one time
Was out of
Impulse.
Isolation is not that bad.
My friends,
Old friends,
Seem to think it's
Not
A problem for me.
One said,
I forgot his name,
"Still the same old
Bastard
That we all love."
Another said,
"Haha.
Keep up the
Good work."
The next one said,
"When
Will you grow
up?"
I find them
On facebook
From time to
Time. They
See me still the same.
Normal.
And I don't seem to
Be in
Need of them.
I only read their posts,
And reply
Whenever.
If I'd
Hunger of
Them,
Then what she said
Made sense.
Isolation
Is
Bad.
But I don't seem to
Be in
Need of them.
I hate it though
When they
Catch me online.
They talk
To me
And say things
I've done
That I've
Forgotten.
I just want to
Be alone.
Even from
Who I was.
I find comfort being
In isolation.
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Jericho Antares
FAKKU Writer
You can have a poem per post, yeah, but I'd advise against making the font so gregariously large.
As for response to your poem: Isolation in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing, depending on the person, but you aren't exactly isolated. You come off as more of a simple shut-in. You have a wealth of information and communication at your fingertips in the form of the internet, and are clearly still interacting with people. Isolation implies that you are alone. Perhaps you are physically and spiritually alone, but you are still communicating, thus you are not isolated.
As for response to your poem: Isolation in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing, depending on the person, but you aren't exactly isolated. You come off as more of a simple shut-in. You have a wealth of information and communication at your fingertips in the form of the internet, and are clearly still interacting with people. Isolation implies that you are alone. Perhaps you are physically and spiritually alone, but you are still communicating, thus you are not isolated.
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Jericho Antares wrote...
You can have a poem per post, yeah, but I'd advise against making the font so gregariously large.As for response to your poem: Isolation in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing, depending on the person, but you aren't exactly isolated. You come off as more of a simple shut-in. You have a wealth of information and communication at your fingertips in the form of the internet, and are clearly still interacting with people. Isolation implies that you are alone. Perhaps you are physically and spiritually alone, but you are still communicating, thus you are not isolated.
Thanks for the clarification.
As for the psych evaluation: as someone who knows writing, you should be wary of associating authors from their work.
I'm happy that you complimented me... or my work?
Either way, it's nice to get a response.
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Theme wise: I found it interesting, but agree with Jericho about the lack of "Isolation"
Poetry wise: I was put off by a few things.
-It is pretty unstructured, which can be a good thing sometimes, but just feels disjointed and haphazard here, as such there is no real flow to it. It lacks a rhyme scheme, and it feels like you were just writing a prose passage and pressing the enter key every few words.
Poetry wise: I was put off by a few things.
-It is pretty unstructured, which can be a good thing sometimes, but just feels disjointed and haphazard here, as such there is no real flow to it. It lacks a rhyme scheme, and it feels like you were just writing a prose passage and pressing the enter key every few words.
0
GroverCleaveland wrote...
Theme wise: I found it interesting, but agree with Jericho about the lack of "Isolation"Poetry wise: I was put off by a few things.
-It is pretty unstructured, which can be a good thing sometimes, but just feels disjointed and haphazard here, as such there is no real flow to it. It lacks a rhyme scheme, and it feels like you were just writing a prose passage and pressing the enter key every few words.
Understandable, and I totally agree. But I'm often more inclined to prose poetry.
One thing... actually two things. a) I know how structure works and I purposefully cut structure to meet unstructured poems b) I write my poems thoroughly.
But if mistakes happen, they're usually because I was drunk. And I was drunk with this one.
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darkblack wrote...
GroverCleaveland wrote...
Theme wise: I found it interesting, but agree with Jericho about the lack of "Isolation"Poetry wise: I was put off by a few things.
-It is pretty unstructured, which can be a good thing sometimes, but just feels disjointed and haphazard here, as such there is no real flow to it. It lacks a rhyme scheme, and it feels like you were just writing a prose passage and pressing the enter key every few words.
Understandable, and I totally agree. But I'm often more inclined to prose poetry.
One thing... actually two things. a) I know how structure works and I purposefully cut structure to meet unstructured poems b) I write my poems thoroughly.
But if mistakes happen, they're usually because I was drunk. And I was drunk with this one.
The idea of unstructured poems is they still make sense, just not necessarily the organized type of sense you'd get otherwise. Mostly though, I agree with Grover on pretty much everything he said.
That aside: writing drunk is very little excuse. If you wrote it while inebriated and don't like it, don't post it. If you do like it, take time (while sober) to fix it up. You can keep the theme your drunken self decided on while still making it readable.
Don't get me wrong though, message and content wise I quite like it, it's just the structure cut into my reading.
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Toxic Influence wrote...
darkblack wrote...
GroverCleaveland wrote...
Theme wise: I found it interesting, but agree with Jericho about the lack of "Isolation"Poetry wise: I was put off by a few things.
-It is pretty unstructured, which can be a good thing sometimes, but just feels disjointed and haphazard here, as such there is no real flow to it. It lacks a rhyme scheme, and it feels like you were just writing a prose passage and pressing the enter key every few words.
Understandable, and I totally agree. But I'm often more inclined to prose poetry.
One thing... actually two things. a) I know how structure works and I purposefully cut structure to meet unstructured poems b) I write my poems thoroughly.
But if mistakes happen, they're usually because I was drunk. And I was drunk with this one.
The idea of unstructured poems is they still make sense, just not necessarily the organized type of sense you'd get otherwise. Mostly though, I agree with Grover on pretty much everything he said.
That aside: writing drunk is very little excuse. If you wrote it while inebriated and don't like it, don't post it. If you do like it, take time (while sober) to fix it up. You can keep the theme your drunken self decided on while still making it readable.
Don't get me wrong though, message and content wise I quite like it, it's just the structure cut into my reading.
I don't write and get drunk. I was drunk then I write. I dunno, when I drink I get inspiration of sorts.
And I like this poem. This was written within a span of 2 hours. Is two hours too long or too short to meditate over a poem?
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Xenon
FAKKU Writer
darkblack wrote...
Is two hours too long or too short to meditate over a poem?Differs per poem, great poets can spend an obscenely long amount of time on the shortest poem, yet some can crank out a long one in under an hour. Do what feels right for you, but chances are you will get a better result if you actually take the time to breathe in the flow of your poem.