Learning To Fly (Part II is up)

I used to live in California, the key there is “used to”, it’s been years since I’ve even set foot near where I used to live; and for the record no, I did not live in Hollywood or LA or one of those huge cities where people assume you can see Brad Pitt walking down the street every day. No, I lived nowhere near a movie studio or any glamorous houses, but we did have a beach in our small town. However I wasn’t particularly interested in the beach, it was hot and crowded, not a place I wanted to be. That was during the summer though; when it got cooler and almost no one was there it was a lot nicer, especially at sun set. The sun would paint the sky purple and pink and gold, and the reflection on the clear water was the one thing that made having the beach nearby worth it. I would stand at the boardwalk, away from the sand, and just take it in letting the salty breeze blow away all my troubles. I did this in secret however, my parents expected a lot from me, so most of my time was spent studying and playing the piano, just like mama and papa wanted for their son.

One day when I went to look at the sea, I think it was late August when everyone had already left for the summer, I saw someone down at the ocean’s edge. It was a girl, she was of normal standing with long flowing black hair, like when you put black ink or dye in water and it swirls and makes kind of a smoky effect, that’s what her hair reminded me of. She had her shoes farther back on the sand and was standing in the water barefoot, her skirt swaying in the wind, and her arms extended out as if she was trying to give the ocean a hug. I felt, ummm, entranced by her I guess, it was an odd feeling that I couldn’t and still can’t quite put my finger on.

As I looked at her she suddenly put her arms down and turned her head, her eyes gazing straight into mine, she had very childlike, innocent eyes. She smiled and gave me a wave, I was somewhat dumfounded as she picked up her shoes and walked up to me at the boardwalk. I, of course, had started staring at the sky as if I never noticed her, but then she decided to do the one thing I had hoped she would’t do in this situation. She talked to me.

“Hello” her voice was sweet and high, just like you would imagine a cute high school girl’s voice would sound.

I simply did nothing, hoping that she would just go away, no such luck.

“What are you doing here?”

“What’s it to you” I said without thinking, I kind of felt bad for being so cold to her when she really didn’t do anything.

“I was just kind of wondering”, didn’t even flinch.

“I was watching the sun set”

“Really me too” she said happily, I had been leaning against the guardrail, she put her arms down and put her chin on them as if mimicking me. She never looked over at me, just stared at the sunset, I on the other hand could not take my eyes off of her, and I kept stealing these weird sideways glances at her. Who was this weird girl and why the hell was she just staring at the sky after she had engaged me in conversation.

She started talking again though, even though she seemed to talk about everything at the same time it felt like she was talking about nothing at all. She rambled on about birds and fish, she talked about music, apparently she was a violist when she was in middle school, but then quite for a reason she never told me. She asked me questions, I usually just responded with a grunt, trying to look bored at her presence, but she did manage to pry a few things from me. I told her a few things about my family, I had a little brother and my father was a normal business man and my mother was a teacher. I stumbled over my words quite often, and my voice was pretty quiet, I also never looked her in the eye when I talked. I realized it must be boring talking to me, I wasn’t really an interesting guy and I must have sounded like a dumbass in this situation anyway. Yet she never said a word and just looked at me silently as I talked, it made me a bit uncomfortable.

“How about school, do you get good grades” she asked without a hint of malice, but I’m sure when she mentioned school a dark shadow fell across my face.

“I don’t really like talking about school” I said, shocked at how dark my own voice sounded.

“Oh” she responded simply, I seemed to have killed the mood. We stared at the sky again, the wind the only music that played in our ears. We stayed like that for a while. I felt bad for ruining that mood, except I felt weird even talking to this girl, why was she here? Why in the name of god was she talking to someone like me in the first place, I was about to say something to make my escape.

“Hey” she said, shaking the well-established silence and throwing me out of my thoughts “do you know how to fly?” Yep this girl was crazy, what the hell did she mean by that anyway? I didn’t say anything, so she just kept going as if she was just thinking out loud.

“I’ve always wanted to fly, to see what’s beyond the sunset, see where all those beautiful colors come from” her voice felt far off and her eyes seemed misty, and the small smile gave off a sense that she was feeling nostalgic about something.

“Well at least that’s how I felt when I was younger” she said chuckled softly “of course I know there is no magical beings at the end of the sunset, but still…” her voice began to trail off. She then quickly pushed herself from the guardrail, only then did I notice that it was getting quite dark and I needed to get home, but I still felt somewhat encapsulated by this girl. Who was she, and why did she talk like some doobie smoking hippie. I had told her quite a bit about myself and she had said quite a lot about herself, yet she never even asked my name. She had already walked quite far and I assumed this was just going to be a chance meeting that we would both forget about quickly, that is until she turned and started walking backwards.

“I come here a lot, let’s hang out some more, I really liked talking to you” she raised her voice so I could hear her from where I was at, she then smiled “what’s your name.” I yelled my name a bit louder than needed and not a fluid and smooth as I hoped it would come out.

“That’s a nice name” she said “my friends call me Ray, so you can call me that too.” She passed underneath a streetlight, just as it turned on, she was wrapped in a veil of yellow light and for a moment my breath caught in the throat. I tried to think of something to say, but by the time my brain had kicked into gear she had already turned a corner and was gone into the night.

A million different thoughts ran through my head like it was a marathon of contemplation. My brain was a little less foggy with her gone, but then I thought of something. Does that mean the girl who I had met maybe two hours ago, already thought of me as a friend?

School started on September first, so I had very little time to think about the girl I had met at the beach. Or at least that’s what I would of liked to say, the truth was I really couldn’t get this girl out of my head, everything seemed to remind me of her, streetlamps, birds, just the smell of the beach, everything. Being the ration young man I was, I decide to think through this logically, I laid out all the reasons in my head. One, she was just crazy and my mind was somewhat fascinated with just how insane she was. Two, I actually enjoyed talking to her and getting a few things off my chest, but in that case anyone would have done. Three, I was in love, this was quickly dismissed. My own feelings were a huge mess, so I did what I normally would when I was depressed, I went to the beach and watched the sunset.

I had expected to see Ray there but the first day I went I just sat there alone and gazed at the golden pool of light in the sky. The second day she wasn’t there either, I sighed and sat down on the wooden floor of the board walk, let my legs hang off the edge and put my arms on the lower rail.

“She said she would be here” I said softly. I guess it was just a chance meeting, and soon Ray would just become some distant memory pushed into the back of my mind that I would occasionally remember very fine details about, no such luck. I heard a very soft thud that could have been the footfall of a child next to me and before I knew it there she was, like some fairy that had appeared because I thought of her. He round, childlike face was illuminated by the glow the sun cast and the reflection of the waves, her long black hair lay flatly on her back and behind the salty smell of the sea I could sense her sweet sent. She wore a white blouse and a matching white skirt, they were oddly frilly, not what I expected from her. She stuck her creamy white legs out over the edge like me and began swinging them back and forth.

“You shouldn’t stare at me so much, I might just catch on fire” she said cheekily giving me a smile, free of charge. I quickly turned away, embarrassed, so she really had come.

“You never showed up, I’m glad you came today though” she said.

“I came yesterday, but you weren’t here, you should be glad I came again today.”

“Oh, you were here yesterday? I’m sorry I couldn’t come, I had other stuff to do”

“Hmmm” I said, turning to look at her “like what?”

“Oh you know” she said, pausing perhaps for dramatic effect “stuff.”

“You’re being vague, where you doing something bad” I said slightly sarcastically, I was honestly interested in what she had been up to that she could have come every day but not yesterday.

“I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you” she shot me a mischievous grin, but it quickly turned back into her usually warm smile as she laughed “sorry, I just can’t keep a straight face if you look at me like that.” Her laugh was sweet and seemed a little hardy even though it came from such a small body.

“You saying my face look’s funny” I said like I was New York mobster, this only made her laugh harder.

“I’d tell you but then I’d have to, hahaha” she couldn’t even get through the line this time.

I cleared my throat “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.” I said it in a dark low voice that made it seem I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.

“Ooo really scary” she said backing away as if I was really going to kill her, but you could easily pick out the sarcastic quality in her voice.

“Well, at least mine was better than yours.”

“If you say so” she said waving her hand as if dismissing the notion. Dammit, I was getting caught up in her again, I barely knew this girl yet I was talking like we’ve known each other forever, I, I.

“I want to know more about you” I said, unfortunately I had not meant for that to be out loud, my face instantly became red as a fire truck, but her face barely changed expression. Well actually it was more like her normal curious and playful expression had intensified, I quickly turned my face away from hers again.

“Sorry, I just, well you see” I was trying to stammer out a halfway good excuse, god I sounded like an idiot. But as I was trying to think of a way to take back what I just said, maybe I could invent time travel real quick, I felt something on my face. It cupped around both sides of my face, it was warm and soft like the sun somehow shining on me from both sides, but I soon realized it was Ray’s hands. She pulled my face back towards her and put our faces so close I could hear her small breaths over the sound of the ocean; her eyes actually looked slightly annoyed at me.

“You know I don’t like it when you look away from me” she said in a matter of fact tone. I thought she was really mad at me, but then she smiled very gently “If you’re embarrassed, that’s okay but I really prefer when people look at me if we’re talking, besides” she paused, and now her face turned slightly red “you have a very handsome face, it’d be a waste to hide it.” My cheeks at this point felt like they were going to burn Ray’s hands, but I really couldn’t think of anything to say, so we just stayed like that staring into each other’s eyes; it really wasn’t as romantic as it sounds or as romance novels made it out to be, but I can’t say I didn’t like it. Eventually she took her hands away from my face.

“So anyway” she said, wow that was a fast recovery, she was already smiling like normal again “what do you like to do, I realized I do a lot of the talking, but I really don’t know a whole lot about you, I mean I know some about your family, but not a lot about you personally.” I felt like I should be the one saying most of that.

“I like to write, someday I want to be a writer” I said looking off into the sunset, I felt kind of cool saying like that.

“Really, like what kinds of stuff do you write” she seemed genuinely interested.

“Stories, poetry, stuff like that”

“Really” I couldn’t tell if she was mocking me or not, but really she didn’t seem like the type of person to do such a thing “do you write a lot.”

“Uhhh, not really” I said truthfully.

“Why not”

“Because”

“Why because”

“I’d rather not talk about it”

“Really”

“Yes really”

“Oh okay” her eyes got downcast a little, but then they sprang right back up. “So is there anything else you do.”

“Uhh, well, I play piano”

“Wow, that’s cool, I wish I could play that piano, but I was always kind of intimidated by all those keys.” she said giggling a little. “Have you been playing long?”

“Yeah, as long as I can remember, I even have a baby grand up at my house” I said, with little emotion in my voice.

“I’d love you hear you play sometime.”

“Maybe sometime” silence.

“What about you, you never mentioned your hobbies before?”

“Ummmm” she said putting her finger on her lips in thought “I love acting; I want to be an actor.”

“Seems like a pretty common thing to want, especially around here, of course that means there is a lot of other people who want the same thing.”

“Yeah I know, I doubt my dream will ever come true, but it’s okay to dream.” Her words seemed to echo in my head, †˜it’s okay to dream.’

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, but with the way you said that line earlier I doubt you’d get very far anyway” I said looking at her, an evil grin on my face.

“I doubt a writer who can’t properly express his feelings would be much of a writer” she shot back; well she’s got me there. We continued on like this for a while longer, just talking, not really saying anything important that needed to be said, just saying whatever crossed our minds, it was nice. We noticed the sun was going down so we decided to call it a day.

“I’ll make sure to be here tomorrow, so make sure to come.”

“I don’t know, I might be busy” then I thought “do you have a cellphone?”

“Yeah, do you want to me to give you my number?”

“Yeah, so we can keep in touch.”

“Wow, you’re pretty ballsy, asking for a girl’s number outright” she said playfully.

“Shut up, just give me your number” I said as I pulled my phone out of my jean pocket. She pulled hers out of her bag and we exchanged numbers. “Alright I’ll call you if something comes up; if I don’t call then I’ll definitely be here.”

“Okay” she nodded affirmatively. Then before I knew it we had parted and gone our separate ways, to our separate house, to our separate lives, what was her life like, what were her parents like. I guess I could always call her, but I decided against it, would have plenty of time to talk to her tomorrow.