SolidShark wrote...
On dreamwriting, not all dreams can be made into a story.
Remember some dreams can be remembered more than other, have more logic than others, etc.
You're technically making a sort of quickly-paced self-aimed dream journal.
Many times, our dreams have some logical situations, others not as much, one moment we are in a space station, then in an old sunny American war of independence town and then, in the next scene, one is being chased down and beheaded (seriously), and one sees ones body separate and one's head pierced by multiple swords and thrown into the sea. Gross. Just...Gross.
Try this:
1: Anyway, your dreams have a variety of uses.
a:
You can use the the few images in your dream when there is no plot, these help you describe a scenery while you write. Crashing rubble from the trembling earth, rays of sunlight. A red sunset.
b:
Try to imagine what kind of story would be made from the situation in the dream.
Maybe he is a bodyguard, maybe he found her by accident. Who was that man? Is he a hero? A villain? Cold-Blooded murderer or savior? Make an idea for the past of your characters, and how they thread together.
What about the girl? Is she a main character? Maybe a character which will alter his life? How?
Brainstorm possible scenarios and situations and stories out of your dreams. Write them all down, don't worry if it doesn't fit at the moment. Maybe useless scraps can he used to fill a block in a future chapter.
2: "his eyes flashed red he quickly lunged and grabbed her.", with fixed grammar would be
"His vision flashed as he lunged. In an instant, he had her in his arms. She looked into the red lens on his helmet, trembling.
As she fasped for air, "P-plea- don't let them come...".
The look of fear fillled her eyes. Drops of sweat slipped down from her small forehead. She could no longer stay awake. Her body ached from running and climbing. Her eyes closed slowly, and she fell asleep, in disregard even for with the sounds of gunfire afar.".
Try to write your dreams as a story, add emotion, not a sort of log, and don't forget spacing.
3: Starting in your fourth paragraph of the first story, every new paragraph starts with "she", fix that.
4: On the second story, we find a problem of perspective. You are writing somewhat as the perspective of Robinson Crusoe, rather than normal stories. To write from the MC's view, the story has somewhat less potential if you ask me.
"I woke up in jail bars", how? This is where YOU COME IN. Last time he was in suit and with a little girl. How did he end there? Ambush or conspiracy (treacherous girl)? Did he give up or was taken down before he could act? That's an example.
Make a story from the confusing plots one's mind crafts.
Will make more edits to this post.