My Confession Poem

For those of you who did not know, I recently confessed to a girl and got rejected. Together with my confession letter, I gave her a poem too.

I thought I might be allowed to post the poem here, to see how I can improve in future, should the need ever arise. T_T



Thank you for reading.

I expected to see more rhyming on it, but maybe poems don't usually rhyme a lot? I dunno much about poems, actually, so I'm afraid I'm can't offer much criticism or any advices for improvement, regarding your poem.

And I'm sorry once again to hear you got rejected, I hope you feel well soon enough, Gambler.

Rise:「Poems don't need to rhyme.」

OT: 「Wow... I can really feel your feelings in it Gambini and the way you describe her is really amazing and beautiful. I really like this peace. It describes a cold person, but when you look past that, it's someone who's full of warmth and care. Gambini, hats off to you my dear friend p_^」

I feel for you Gambler. I got rejected once as well. But I don't know why you would think you would need to improve upon your poetry. I feel that so long as it comes from your heart, and you put all of your feelings in it, it is a masterpiece.

Lovely poem, Gambler.

Hope you feel better over this soon, you'll find your significant other sooner or later. Just don't lose hope.

It's a nice poem.

Confession letter and a poem; You're such a romantic Gambler. Though from reading your poem about her, I suppose you weren't all too surprised to get rejected then?

Our section has always respected you, Gambler. Time will be your friend.

Subconsciously, you did call her a cold and emotionless person, though. It's like calling a women old, but also a MILF. She doesn't want to be called old, even if you also said she was beautiful. However, I'm sure it wasn't for that reason alone that you got rejected. Better luck in the future.

i don't have to read this poem to know that you bleed out what you feat for her on this one tiny letter to her. I can personally you that rejection sucks and that it can take days,weeks,or even months to recover from it. Hell man i'll go has far as to say you may never recover from it. But don't YOU stop being friends with her,you already had a relationship with her and that status was being a friend. You said your feelings,now it time to hear hers. I also notice that most people basically said "eh,what ever,get over it" or "nice poem" there was an exception to this,but i won't point him/her out. lastly i'' say that "love isn't something that you give or receive its something that you simply have and must keep try to find"- S.M

I was hoping that my sincerity and true feelings would be able to touch her, but apparently, I failed.



Getting back on the topic of writing (and poems), what you said does make sense. I ought to be more careful with my choice of words in future.

Ignoring context and just looking at the poem: It's ok to not rhyme, and it's ok to rhyme. But having one stanza out of four rhyme with a-a-b-b and the rest being free verse is just . . . weird. Even doing middle two stanzas using a-a-b-b and c-c-d-d and having first/last be free verse would have been better simply because it has a pattern. See what I'm getting at? Random rhyming stanza out of nowhere just doesn't fit very well.

Thank you for your input, Toxic Influence. I believe I have lots more to learn about writing poems, not just of a romantic nature. If I do have further queries, would it be all right for me to approach you in future?

Of course, though I'd hardly consider myself an expert. I'm happy to at least try to help, though.

Great one, gambler!(Though i arrived a lil' late for that.) Hope your heart will be mended soon!!

I wouldn't advise the poetry approach - In future - Just saying that sort of thing might freak people out nowadays.