my family are succubus !!!!!

all the building just flashing before my eyes melting in with the noise of my train make me drop even more in deep taught. today is the first day that i will see my family in 10 years im eighteen now .when i think back to ten-year back when i was only eight my parents sent me away to a boarding all guy school and I never heard from them again.


for a while I taught that the were dead or something had happen to them since for all the letters i sent no reply came back but when I grew older it became apparent that my family discarded me then like a mental block all memory of my family became blocked by my rage so i left that they paid for not wanting to have any connection with them. to get my life back i swore that i would never talk see or be part of that family again.
i went to Paris to learn to cook and became a real high-class cook working in France to earn money to come back to japan and open my own french cuisine but it all changed when a lawyer came at my work to deliver me my father will with me as sol heir to the family fortune.at first taught of not going for i
wanted noting more to do with this family
but then i came to my sense i could take the money and open my restaurant and with the money i would have i could make it bigger better that i had in my dreams so there i was to the end of my journey as the train voice said my stop i took my small luggage since all i had was clothes and my chef knife and step off the train my feet did not even touch the ground and i heard my name screamed by the voice of a girl i dint recognize only to find her talking me on the ground and started kissing me what the hell was going on.

Very interesting story you got there.
A suggestion might be to arrange it into different paragraphs for easy reading and the dots and comas.

I am looking formward for more :)

Normally I wouldn't bother, but I was impressed that anud gave useful advice.

Decent story, but a horrid conglomeration of run-ons. You have three-to-five line sentences...Use punctuation and capitalization and proof-read, for the love of god.

lol, maybe you need an editor to help. Though it seems that you aren't so skilled in the English language (or was just plain lazy), your work is very interesting. :D

yes sorry for my lack of proof reading. and you are right im not used to write in english. but I want to get better at it so im trying to learn by writing. just like I learned my english from immersion. so sorry if my text gets a Little weird or doesn't seem right sometime but I appreciate all your advise. ps. should I just edit if I what to continue my story or do I post again