Romantic Poems
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Just a trial. Anyway, I’d like to have this thread as my collection of Romantic Poems. I would appreciate some reviews and critiques concerning about my style, measurement, rhyming, et cetera. Everything you see fit for me to improve. The first one is below. Hope you had the interest to read.
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Unrequited
You’re charming, and sweet, and lovely,
I know no one who can resist your smile.
Yet you’re tough, and strong, and edgy,
But believe me, you never looked so vile.
For we are †˜The Bestfriends’, you and me.
You’ll always be my sanctuary.
Have I ever had that small chance,
To tell how beautiful you are, my friend?
The few moments I want to dance,
With you that always come to lonesome end?
I know, I’m no special man to you.
Have I had the courage to tell you…
That you are blind! You always are.
You never took notice of the small thing.
You’re always gazing from afar,
When a man more worthy is near, waiting.
To you, what could be my true value?
The pain, my friend, it hurts so true!
It aches, everytime I see you,
When the moment you kiss the man you love.
The affection I meant for you,
You did with other stupid, flightless dove.
I need you badly, like a man needs air.
Strip me, hit me, kill me, I don’t care.
Let me be the one to love you,
How desperate I am to hold your face.
Oh, let me make your dreams come true,
Let me take your soul to that secret place.
Make love to me, and see how it felt,
Both pain and pleasure, to me you dealt.
I have been weeping every night,
Of the love that can never be repaid.
Love conquers all; I hope it might.
For my heart needs the most prevailing aid.
My bestfriend, it hurts, to set you free.
Still I did, since it made you happy.
I know no one who can resist your smile.
Yet you’re tough, and strong, and edgy,
But believe me, you never looked so vile.
For we are †˜The Bestfriends’, you and me.
You’ll always be my sanctuary.
Have I ever had that small chance,
To tell how beautiful you are, my friend?
The few moments I want to dance,
With you that always come to lonesome end?
I know, I’m no special man to you.
Have I had the courage to tell you…
That you are blind! You always are.
You never took notice of the small thing.
You’re always gazing from afar,
When a man more worthy is near, waiting.
To you, what could be my true value?
The pain, my friend, it hurts so true!
It aches, everytime I see you,
When the moment you kiss the man you love.
The affection I meant for you,
You did with other stupid, flightless dove.
I need you badly, like a man needs air.
Strip me, hit me, kill me, I don’t care.
Let me be the one to love you,
How desperate I am to hold your face.
Oh, let me make your dreams come true,
Let me take your soul to that secret place.
Make love to me, and see how it felt,
Both pain and pleasure, to me you dealt.
I have been weeping every night,
Of the love that can never be repaid.
Love conquers all; I hope it might.
For my heart needs the most prevailing aid.
My bestfriend, it hurts, to set you free.
Still I did, since it made you happy.
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leonard267
FAKKU Non-Writer
It would work well as a song considering that this poem is easy to understand and it would appeal to people who are new to relationships.
I hope you would not mind me saying that. I feel that it is appropriate to include my first impressions after reading the poem because I feel that it is almost as important as the structure and content of the poems.
That aside, I am quite sure you are writing to people who do not know how to write poems as well. Am I right to say that?
That aside allow me to do some blatant advertising here. You may be interested in the Writer's Lounge in the Chat Topics and Forum Games section. Wannabe writers post there all the time. And I am one of them.
https://www.fakku.net/viewtopic.php?t=77796
And to thank you for the effort for writing this poem, I would present to you a few stories of my own. Here are the links found in my signature. You may be utterly disgusted after reading through them. This always happens. :(
https://www.fakku.net/viewtopic.php?t=91238
https://www.fakku.net/viewtopic.php?t=92757
I hope you would not mind me saying that. I feel that it is appropriate to include my first impressions after reading the poem because I feel that it is almost as important as the structure and content of the poems.
That aside, I am quite sure you are writing to people who do not know how to write poems as well. Am I right to say that?
That aside allow me to do some blatant advertising here. You may be interested in the Writer's Lounge in the Chat Topics and Forum Games section. Wannabe writers post there all the time. And I am one of them.
https://www.fakku.net/viewtopic.php?t=77796
And to thank you for the effort for writing this poem, I would present to you a few stories of my own. Here are the links found in my signature. You may be utterly disgusted after reading through them. This always happens. :(
https://www.fakku.net/viewtopic.php?t=91238
https://www.fakku.net/viewtopic.php?t=92757