Scarlet Requiem
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Xenon
FAKKU Writer
Hmm, very interesting tid bit here. Do you have any background on this piece, like inspiration or time written? It's very alluring.
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Well, I would say this is quite well done. It has quite the impact for a first chapter. Now let us get down to the criticizing.
Pros:
1) Good pacing: The story had good pacing from start to finish of Chapter 1. It flows well and I like the way it went.
2) Original: I like how you made a whole new world for your story. I'm not sure what the whole setting is supposed to be but at least you've piqued my interest. I'll make sure to check up on updates.
Cons:
1) Apostrophes and spelling in general: Okay... I'm really annoyed about this one. Too many apostrophes mistake. Here's an example:
And another....
Spelling wasn't bad actually, I found a few minor mistakes but that was it.
2) Descriptive: Descriptions were rich but I think this could be improved further. Maybe you should describe in more detail about the main character. The only thing I know is that he's a kid, no physical description at all.
Pros:
1) Good pacing: The story had good pacing from start to finish of Chapter 1. It flows well and I like the way it went.
2) Original: I like how you made a whole new world for your story. I'm not sure what the whole setting is supposed to be but at least you've piqued my interest. I'll make sure to check up on updates.
Cons:
1) Apostrophes and spelling in general: Okay... I'm really annoyed about this one. Too many apostrophes mistake. Here's an example:
Spoiler:
And another....
Spoiler:
Spelling wasn't bad actually, I found a few minor mistakes but that was it.
2) Descriptive: Descriptions were rich but I think this could be improved further. Maybe you should describe in more detail about the main character. The only thing I know is that he's a kid, no physical description at all.
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Thanks, finally some good criticism!
I'll start implementing your suggestions.
Actually it's just a one shot short story. I can't make any progress with my main works so this helps me exercise writing, while I think of new ideas.
I'll start implementing your suggestions.
Actually it's just a one shot short story. I can't make any progress with my main works so this helps me exercise writing, while I think of new ideas.
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Xenon wrote...
Hmm, very interesting tid bit here. Do you have any background on this piece, like inspiration or time written? It's very alluring.glad you liked it, the truth is I have writer's block, my mind can't come up with new ideas for this novel that I'm writing so I thought I could write a short story to let my mind work out some ideas...
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artcellrox
The Grey Knight :y
MVmastervileviolatorMV wrote...
I hope there'd be a plus a rank up (like) or +1 function in the threads section alongside the Quote, etc function (wishful thinking).Looking forward to the next read.
Please keep fermenting more of this goodness.
*thumbs up*
... are you blind? There IS a quote function! Look at the right of the post you want quote, right underneath the timestamp.
As for rep, it's only unlocked for a user once you have 15 posts.
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artcellrox
The Grey Knight :y
Xenon wrote...
Why the deletion?...No clue, actually. Her account's gone too. Must have either requested something to be deleted, or got banned.