[Summer Contest Entry 2012] Furuichi's Problem
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This is a Beelzebub fanfiction. Hope you like it.
'Hi, this is Furuichi Takayuki speaking in my daily monologue. It is summer vacation and any young healthy high school boy knows what that means! The beaches! The beautiful ladies! Bikinis! Oh, how wonderful summer is! Normally, I would be there at the beach using my charm towards the beautiful ladies, but when you have a rampaging ogre as your best friend, something like that is impossible. Which reminds me...'
“What the hell are you doing in my room!? I don't remember inviting you!” Furuichi yelled across the room toward his best friend, Oga Tatsumi as he drank a cup of tea that originally belonged to Furuichi. “Don't just drink my tea!”
“You're so noisy.” Oga complained, and used his pinkie to clean out his right ear.
“Dah!” Baby Beel, who was laying on top of Oga's head, imitated him.
“Screw you! Don't just change the subject! How did you get into my house!?"
“Alaindelon transported me here. He said something about you acting strange. I replied saying that you were always strange.”
“You're the strange one!”
“Shut up and let me finish!” Oga yelled back and punched Furuichi in the face. He sighed and sat back down. “Anyway, I was then dragged into his body and he transported me to your room.” Oga finished.
“So, where is that Alaindelon?” Furuichi asked, hoping the tall trans-dimensional demon didn't pop up anywhere.
“He ran away after leaving me here.” Oga replied. “So, what is so strange about you that interrupted my peaceful life at home?”
'I really doubt you have a peaceful life at home, especially with Hilda and that monster sister of yours.' Furuichi sighed and scratched his head. “I'm fine. He probably was talking about me and this new site I found.”
“New site?” Oga asked, tilting his head to the side.
“Yeah...let me show you.” Furuichi stood up and walked toward his desk. Oga followed. He opened his laptop and typed the URL link. The two waited patiently before the site appeared on the screen.
“Fakku.net? What the hell is this?” Oga asked, looking perplexed.
“Hehehehe...”
“What's with the creepy laugh, Baka-uichi?”
“Poor, poor Oga. You really know nothing about the female anatomy.” Furuichi laughed.
“The female what?”
“Let me tell you Oga. The female body is a wonderful thing. Those luscious curves. The melons that vary in different sizes. The wavy and shiny hair. This is only half of what makes the female anatomy so great.” Furuichi eyes sparkled.
“Creep.”
“Dahboo!” Baby Beel nodded his head in agreement.
“Oh shut up! How can you not admire the wonderful creation that is woman?”
“It's because I'm not you.”
“Shut up and take a look at this!” Oga leaned forward. He watched as Furuichi scrolled down a list of different doujinshi and hentai manga. “So, what do you think?”
“Creep.” Oga replied with his expressionless face.
“How can you not like this!?” Furuichi asked in shock.
“Like I said before, I'm not you.”
“I can't believe I consider you my best friend.” He sighed.
“Whatever. I can't believe I wasted my first day of summer with something as stupid as this.” Oga sighed as well.
“How dare you say that about Fakku.net! Without it, where would young men, and some women, like us find such wonderful work of art that artists put their blood, sweat, and tears into!” Furuichi defended Fakku.net.
“Don't you mean people like you?” Oga corrected him.
“Don't act like you didn't enjoy looking at all those doujinshi and hentai manga!”
“I'm not interested in that kind of stuff.” He told him again.
“Oh please! How can you say that when you have Kunieda-senpai?”
“Huh? Kunieda? What does she have to do with anything?” He asked confused.
“Are you kidding me? You mean you can't tell?”
“Tell what?”
“That she...”
“Ummm...Furuichi-kun...” Furuichi stopped his sentence and turned his head to see Aoi Kunieda giving him a glare that would make anyone cower in fear.
“K-K-Kunieda-senpai...w-w-what are you doing here?”
“I'm sorry Takayuki. When I heard you talking about her, I thought she could help you with your...problem.” Alaindelon answered for her as he blushed and fidgeted.
'D-Damn you, Alaindelon!' Furuichi cursed the trans-dimensional demon. “K-Kunieda-senpai...it's not what you think, you see...”
“Furuichi-kun...exactly how were you going to finish that sentence?” She smiled at him, but he knew that smile had nothing but evil intentions toward him.
“W-Well...I was going to say that you...umm...like Fakku.net as well...” He realized too late at what he just said.
“Fakku.net?” Kunieda settled down and wondered what Furuichi was talking about.
“Huh? You like that stuff too, Kunieda? That's surprising.” Oga responded as he looked at her in shock.
“Huh? Wait a minute Oga...I don't know...” She tried to tell him that she didn't know what Fakku.net was.
“Kunieda-san...I believe Takayuki is talking about this.” Alaindelon showed her the website on his laptop.
'Don't show her that!' Furuichi had a look of horror on his face as he watched Aoi's facial expression turn from normal to shocked and finally to flustered.
“W-W-W-What is this!?” She stuttered.
“You see, Takayuki has been on this website almost daily and I think he has a problem so I asked Oga-kun to help him.” Alaindelon confessed.
“Huh? O-Oga! You mean you like this stuff too?” She asked her crush.
“I'm not Furuichi you know. I don't like that kind of stuff.” He answered truthfully. His reply made Aoi sigh in relief, but she also felt kind of slightly disappointed, but she didn't know why. Aoi then turned to Furuichi.
“I see...so you want us to make him stop going on this website, right?” Aoi asked Alaindelon.
“Yes.” Furuichi looked at her in horror as she gave the white haired teen her glare again.
“Then I know just what to do.” She took out a wooden sword and pointed it at Furuichi.
“K-Kunieda-senpai...w-what are you going to do...?”
“Nothing...nothing at all...” She replied with the same smile that Furuichi knew meant no good. She then swung her sword as Furuichi cried out in pain.
Moments later...
“Huh? What's a Fakku?” Furuichi asked as imaginary question marks appeared above his head.
“Looks like he's cured.” Oga stated as Aoi nodded her head and Alaindelon hugged Furuichi, who tried to get the larger man off of him.
“Dah!”
The End
'Hi, this is Furuichi Takayuki speaking in my daily monologue. It is summer vacation and any young healthy high school boy knows what that means! The beaches! The beautiful ladies! Bikinis! Oh, how wonderful summer is! Normally, I would be there at the beach using my charm towards the beautiful ladies, but when you have a rampaging ogre as your best friend, something like that is impossible. Which reminds me...'
“What the hell are you doing in my room!? I don't remember inviting you!” Furuichi yelled across the room toward his best friend, Oga Tatsumi as he drank a cup of tea that originally belonged to Furuichi. “Don't just drink my tea!”
“You're so noisy.” Oga complained, and used his pinkie to clean out his right ear.
“Dah!” Baby Beel, who was laying on top of Oga's head, imitated him.
“Screw you! Don't just change the subject! How did you get into my house!?"
“Alaindelon transported me here. He said something about you acting strange. I replied saying that you were always strange.”
“You're the strange one!”
“Shut up and let me finish!” Oga yelled back and punched Furuichi in the face. He sighed and sat back down. “Anyway, I was then dragged into his body and he transported me to your room.” Oga finished.
“So, where is that Alaindelon?” Furuichi asked, hoping the tall trans-dimensional demon didn't pop up anywhere.
“He ran away after leaving me here.” Oga replied. “So, what is so strange about you that interrupted my peaceful life at home?”
'I really doubt you have a peaceful life at home, especially with Hilda and that monster sister of yours.' Furuichi sighed and scratched his head. “I'm fine. He probably was talking about me and this new site I found.”
“New site?” Oga asked, tilting his head to the side.
“Yeah...let me show you.” Furuichi stood up and walked toward his desk. Oga followed. He opened his laptop and typed the URL link. The two waited patiently before the site appeared on the screen.
“Fakku.net? What the hell is this?” Oga asked, looking perplexed.
“Hehehehe...”
“What's with the creepy laugh, Baka-uichi?”
“Poor, poor Oga. You really know nothing about the female anatomy.” Furuichi laughed.
“The female what?”
“Let me tell you Oga. The female body is a wonderful thing. Those luscious curves. The melons that vary in different sizes. The wavy and shiny hair. This is only half of what makes the female anatomy so great.” Furuichi eyes sparkled.
“Creep.”
“Dahboo!” Baby Beel nodded his head in agreement.
“Oh shut up! How can you not admire the wonderful creation that is woman?”
“It's because I'm not you.”
“Shut up and take a look at this!” Oga leaned forward. He watched as Furuichi scrolled down a list of different doujinshi and hentai manga. “So, what do you think?”
“Creep.” Oga replied with his expressionless face.
“How can you not like this!?” Furuichi asked in shock.
“Like I said before, I'm not you.”
“I can't believe I consider you my best friend.” He sighed.
“Whatever. I can't believe I wasted my first day of summer with something as stupid as this.” Oga sighed as well.
“How dare you say that about Fakku.net! Without it, where would young men, and some women, like us find such wonderful work of art that artists put their blood, sweat, and tears into!” Furuichi defended Fakku.net.
“Don't you mean people like you?” Oga corrected him.
“Don't act like you didn't enjoy looking at all those doujinshi and hentai manga!”
“I'm not interested in that kind of stuff.” He told him again.
“Oh please! How can you say that when you have Kunieda-senpai?”
“Huh? Kunieda? What does she have to do with anything?” He asked confused.
“Are you kidding me? You mean you can't tell?”
“Tell what?”
“That she...”
“Ummm...Furuichi-kun...” Furuichi stopped his sentence and turned his head to see Aoi Kunieda giving him a glare that would make anyone cower in fear.
“K-K-Kunieda-senpai...w-w-what are you doing here?”
“I'm sorry Takayuki. When I heard you talking about her, I thought she could help you with your...problem.” Alaindelon answered for her as he blushed and fidgeted.
'D-Damn you, Alaindelon!' Furuichi cursed the trans-dimensional demon. “K-Kunieda-senpai...it's not what you think, you see...”
“Furuichi-kun...exactly how were you going to finish that sentence?” She smiled at him, but he knew that smile had nothing but evil intentions toward him.
“W-Well...I was going to say that you...umm...like Fakku.net as well...” He realized too late at what he just said.
“Fakku.net?” Kunieda settled down and wondered what Furuichi was talking about.
“Huh? You like that stuff too, Kunieda? That's surprising.” Oga responded as he looked at her in shock.
“Huh? Wait a minute Oga...I don't know...” She tried to tell him that she didn't know what Fakku.net was.
“Kunieda-san...I believe Takayuki is talking about this.” Alaindelon showed her the website on his laptop.
'Don't show her that!' Furuichi had a look of horror on his face as he watched Aoi's facial expression turn from normal to shocked and finally to flustered.
“W-W-W-What is this!?” She stuttered.
“You see, Takayuki has been on this website almost daily and I think he has a problem so I asked Oga-kun to help him.” Alaindelon confessed.
“Huh? O-Oga! You mean you like this stuff too?” She asked her crush.
“I'm not Furuichi you know. I don't like that kind of stuff.” He answered truthfully. His reply made Aoi sigh in relief, but she also felt kind of slightly disappointed, but she didn't know why. Aoi then turned to Furuichi.
“I see...so you want us to make him stop going on this website, right?” Aoi asked Alaindelon.
“Yes.” Furuichi looked at her in horror as she gave the white haired teen her glare again.
“Then I know just what to do.” She took out a wooden sword and pointed it at Furuichi.
“K-Kunieda-senpai...w-what are you going to do...?”
“Nothing...nothing at all...” She replied with the same smile that Furuichi knew meant no good. She then swung her sword as Furuichi cried out in pain.
Moments later...
“Huh? What's a Fakku?” Furuichi asked as imaginary question marks appeared above his head.
“Looks like he's cured.” Oga stated as Aoi nodded her head and Alaindelon hugged Furuichi, who tried to get the larger man off of him.
“Dah!”
The End
