[Summer Contest Entry 2012] This love transcends boundaries

Beginning Transmission -

"Hello. My name is Wabi-Sabi. And this is my summer romance story. It all started with a few e-mails over Fakku. Went to skype chat. Made a few friends and all... then you know. Met a girl. She was cute and funny and kind. I was falling in love. We had a lot in common. Spend all night talking. Then one day she said, "Wouldn't it be cool if we met in person?" Yeah. I bought a ticket. Flew over the ocean. We met up together with the plan to go an anime convention.

Stoked.

That's when the plane crashed over the sea. A flying naked man clogged up the engines. I'm pretty sure he survived as he was shouting "fap fap away!" and zoomed off. I think. But before he went, that mysterious man said something about true love to a necrophiliac. We got away from the horde as quick as possible. We were stuck on a island which is lucky I suppose, just means that there weren't many places to run to. Our few survivors fell in number over the next few days. The rest got eaten by polar bears.

Oh I forgot to mention. I'm a wizard. Or summoner per say. I can for instance summon tie wearing hens that are invulnerable. They don't do anything unless provoked at which point they gang up on the target of their ire, leaving a sticky mess. A rather favorite spell of mine. I mention this magic only because it'll be important later and I had in my possession a strange mask.

I received this mask upon meeting her. I could tell at the time that it had magic power. I just couldn't figure out what.

So we're there on the island watching some porn together as the batteries died on the tablet... I confessed. Got shot down. So I went off and sat there wondering if I'd die on that wretched island a lonely man. Sat there. Looking at that mask. And I was thinking about what she said and saw how much of a fool I must have been.

"Only a beast can satisfy me," She said. Then she walked off.

Only a beast huh? So I put on that mask shaped like a horse's head. I intended to scare her while she was bathing at the waterfall. It didn't take me long to realize by the way, that the mask was doing something to me as I wore it. It took me a while to realize why it was so familiar. But those thoughts weren't in my mind at the time. I was caught up with seeing her. My emotions all mixed up inside. So I got out there and surprised her. I was just playing around.

But when she came on to me with those eyes... I couldn't help myself. We were doing it! And! And it hurt so good? She was so aggressive squeezing down on me to the point of my dick going numb. Her body was soft, but her grip was like a drowning swimmer. As we went again and again I noticed that my desire for food and water was replaced with a never ending thirst for her. Hunger for her. No matter how much it wasn't enough. I felt the mask giving me the power to go on. In my fool hardiness I drank up that power eagerly. Desperate to keep pace. It's only now that I realize what I saw in her eyes was not love...

It was her raep face.

We were rescued by a cruise ship. I don't remember much beyond her taste and the feel of her lips.... the roundness of her breasts. When we got back to the mainland the convention was already long over. We did a few normal dating things. I believe she sensed my growing suspicions. Always the outings ended with sex. She seemed desperate now to hasten something.

I did some research and found out my suspicions were fact. This mask... it has the ability to turn a proper body into a form of ero-beast. There were others before me. Others who would be called 'Jacob"... Once the transformation was complete. Others who didn't take to it well... Others who died. Drained of their life-force by Momoka. I suspect-no-I'm certain now. She is some form of magic user as well. Our conversations were not by chance. I don't know how much longer I have-

There she is. Standing outside on the street corner. I know she can see me through the window. Haah... The more I struggle against the mask the harder I become. Please if anyone is out there. Please help me. I can feel it changing my brain... Latching onto my neck. Here she comes!

She's knocking at the door.

Oh god she has a key!

My hens! Dammit all, why won't they answer me?

Gah I'm drooling? This is bad. I'm so hungry...

I need... Momoka..."

- End of Transmission

So to explain this thing...
My first thoughts when I realized there as a writing contest: Sitting on the beach watching the sunset. Stranded on this island after trying to go to a convention to see some fakku members face to face. Planewreck/shipwrecked or w/e.

Just me on the beach.
With this cat that also survived.
Me on the beach with a cat watching the sunset.
A cat is fine too.

That is my summer romance story.

While writing it, I did most of it stream. I wanted to convey how important this cat was. How vital it was. And how ultimately, the boundaries between man and cat can close without magical nekomimi mode transformation.

Although to be honest that would have been nice too.

Nekomimi is always nice.

I've actually been sitting here mulling over what the last two words I'd put in there would be... I thought perhaps crazy cat or I'm tired or something. But I opted for I'm hungry. Not sure if you'll pick up on it. But it could have some rather large meanings. Eh? Eh? Don't get it? Want me to explain?

(<_<) Trying to call my bluff eh? (>_>) Wait is it a bluff if you actually mean it? So what do you say when someone questions... =-=;; nvm.

Anyways. It does. It means exactly what it means.
You're on an island and something is tearing off your pants, it smells like food and you're starving. +Cat somewhere.

It shouldn't take long for you to think naughty thoughts. And if that's not sufficient enough, well. You'll just have to go without your meat. Go eat your pudding. Can't have no meat without your pudding.

I'm sorry, but I don't think the actual story has any actual references to Fakku, perverts are perverts, they're not the perverts of Fakkuza. Lol.

If having the fictional character attempting to meet Fakku members, but never getting there doesn't apply, then that's fine.

I ran out of word spaces to throw in Cameo's such as Fakku's mascot or Jacob's horse head. Beyond that, I'm not sure who I would really add.

Vanilla Man?

No like, there's no Fakku mentioned in the story, hinting it is not enough. Either you say that they're the perverts of Fakku, or you insert a user or two's name. Or you'll have to have some kind of a solid reference.

Alright. Since I like it how it is, I'll be fine if it's not accepted for the contest. Thanks for reading.

(Also the deadline to make any changes is over isn't? At least I thought it was.)

The final deadline is July 15th, I believe.

Also, shame that you're opting out of the contest just because of a technicality.

Hurhur for shame indeed. My r/l time got gobbled up by a new job and college classes starting. I barely have enough time to fap when I get home! *sheds tear* But this isn't about my life this is about what I wrote right? Well if I get some time to finish it before the deadline I'll edit it up. If I forget or run out of time then I'm out. I'm happy enough that someone read it to be honest. And if they enjoyed it, even better.

If you do edit your entry, please make a note of it here.

Alright, I found some time and some sleepless nights to bring forth a newer and shorter version. I hope this satisfies the entry requirements.

Okay then...well...now I'm actually thoroughly confused. I get that there's this turned down romance, but was Momoka also on the plane? You failed to mention this because I was trying to figure out when the protagonist and Momoka even met in the first place. It's disorganized and while I was intrigued with the fact that he's a wizard, I feel that it fails to make this relevant, aside from making the character aware of the magical items. Sure, you've mentioned the summoning of giant tie-wearing hens, but that is exactly your issue: show, don't tell. You need a lot more detail and frankly, you're not even close to the word limit! You've got at least 500 words and that's being generous because I estimate that you have a little over 700 words available. Use them!

Asides from that, this story has potential. I just feel that you are not quite tapping into that potential. Once you've cleared all the little things, I feel that this story, and your writing for that matter, will be stronger for it.