The air is filled with music, the kind when nature is whispering its secrets to the mountain; and where the echoes reverberate in the forest, where the trees listen. The carriers of our voices from heaven, but I was only half aware of these things.
I was busy catching my breath; as I climb the mountain ridge. I left the others at the clearing behind me, even though they’re my friends I needed to be alone.
Somehow in that space where the forest is visible to my eye; a vision of lush greenery overflowing with life. I feel the emptiness inside my heart more accurately.
It’s as if it resonates across the entire universe making my pain visible; a tangible reality. I sighed, if only I could take solace into the arms of the earth, then maybe I would not feel things the way I did. The clouds were rumbling up ahead, a storm is coming .And as if nature wants to comfort me. The first drop of rain mingled with the tears I kept holding back. And in that moment the tidal wave of my emotion swept me and I poured out my heart for the entire universe to see…
I started crying while in the middle of the rain. It’s as if the heavens are part of my sorrow, I see my pain as the rain being poured out on the world. My screams where the thunder and the cracks in my heart is like the lightning in the sky it was stupid and crazy to be standing in that mountain ridge in the middle of the storm but whether I was crazy or not I didn’t care…
At some point I started to talk, I was not afraid, I let nature critic my soliloquy
“If I could explain what happened in the short amount of time that we had been together I would, but I can’t. And I know that it’s impossible for you to even understand that I fell for you,” when you said you loved me I didn’t believe it and I guess I was right. I only wanted us to be friends!
I screamed fiercely as thunder rumbled in the sky.
"I only wanted us to be friends." I mumbled softly.
"That’s the problem, I don’t want us to be friends." a voice whispered behind me. I turned around and I saw him standing there, and I thought if he was just an illusion, but then his face broke into a sad smile, and ever so gently he reached out for my hand.
I jerked back. "why are you here!? How did you find me?" I said angrily.
"I came here because I want to say I’m sorry." he said.
"For what? For making me look like a fool? For having false hopes? It wasn’t your fault I did this to me. You didn’t do anything except…"
"Except make you believe that I could give you something that I don’t have. he said. Sophie I didn’t want us to be friends because I love you more than a friend should, and I can’t love you because… "
Because what? I screamed. Because you still love your Ex- girlfriend?
No Sophie! it’s because I know that I am not ready to love again… I don’t want to hurt you by making you a temporary replacement for Tara, I don’t want you to be in love with me because I’m still picking up the pieces of my heart. I saw the hurt in his eyes as he clutched his chest.
I can help you pick up the pieces, I frantically said. I can heal your broken heart just let me love…. My words were drowned by the thunder and I realized that what I said was meaningless.
I stopped and looked at him, and He looked at me and right there I knew that we could never be together, not as a couple and not even as friends.
It was one of those understanding that passes between two people.
For the first time I smiled and said, you’re right. We can never be together... He looked at me with a puzzled expression.
"because we’re too alike, there can never be chemistry between us." He laughed. well that’s true. He came up to me and said; Sophie if I could turn back the time I would but it’s not good to regret what has been done and even if I could change the past, the future is still uncertain.
I know, I said. And I wouldn’t want the past to change either. I took a deep breath. There’s one thing that I’m certain of in the future. I said looking over the murky horizon.
And what’s that? He asked.
I smiled and turned around to face him. Well one day we would see each other again and when that happens we’ll smile at each other because we’re finally happy with our lives.
He took my hand, wrapping it in his. Thank you for the time we spent together and for giving me hope that I can find love again.
He then pulled me in a tight embrace and said, Good Bye Sophie, I won’t forget you.
I closed my eyes surrendering into the moment...
When I opened them he was gone. I turned around and I saw that the storm had passed and a rainbow was shinning in front of me. I smiled and I started to walk back to where my friends where with a promise that everything would turn out all right.