The Death of Nate River

So, if you are wondering WTF is with the title, it happened becaues I was in the Random Squad thread and I decided to answer NightClocks question. He asked what happened to Nate River and I jokingly decided to answer by saying I killed him. Then I started to add on and slowly evovled into the story you see now. Hopefully you will enjoy. :D Story is still a work in progress though. And Nate I don't hate you. XD

Well... You see, that guy kind of irratated me. So I went over to where he lives and called him and told him that there was important bussiness to do on that bridge... So he comes along and I pulled out my kitchen knife and sliced 'n' diced him good... Oh, the feeling of slicing the flesh...

That wasn't all I did... I took those sliced up bits of meat, and headed on over to the childrens orphanage near by... Expelling all the contents and telling the kids they were going to have a great treat. I watched, as the children ate the remains of the one I had just killed a few hours ago. The satisfaction I felt as I watched my enemies devoured by such innocent children...

Divine satisfaction had washed over me as I left the orphanage. Nate River now gone, my mind could rest at ease.

As I continued to the location I was staying, it seemed as if I was being watched...

"Paranoia won't get you anywhere." I told myself. Though I had said this, I started seeing shadows. Everyone person I passed, it seemed as if they knew of my transgression, every person I passed my muscles tightened. I quickened my pace as I became overly aware of my surroundings.

I reached the hotel, and was greeted by the clerk, I ignored him as I went passed but took a glance at his face. It seemed as if a scowl had just been on his face.

"Oh, god does he know?"

_____

I watched a customer go by and he looked as if he was harried and distracted by something. Being a 5 star hotel and a reputation to uphold, I decided it would be nice to fetch him something to drink. Yes that's what I'll do.
_____

I hurriedly pushed the button of the elavator, I impatiently clicked it repeatedly. Giving into my anxiety, I walked to the stairs and started climbing the stairs. Then suddenly I heard footsteps.

"Why would anyone else use the stairs I thought?" Sensine something wasn't quite right I started running up the stairs towards the next exit, but I was too late. The foot steps drew nearer and faster as it decended the steps and I saw them.

My heart beat slowed as I saw the harmless couple decending. It seems they were in a foul mood as the man chased the woman down the steps.

I continued to climb and reached the floor my room was at. I swiped my card and went inside. Without taking my jacket off, I fell onto my bed feeling tired. I threw the bag with the weapon of murder under the bed. I thought about what had happened, "was killing him worth all this mental agony?"

My eyes grew weary as I was thinking this. I had not slept for 2 nights while planning to kill him. Sleep had finally caught up to me and I closed my eyes to sleep when I heard a knock.
_____

The call came in late of a missing person named Nate River and of a suspicious man around the orphanage. I was given the task of investigating this and heard that this man was staying at a reputable hotel. In this lazy hour it seemed like a dogs task, but work was work and I got out of the car to talk to this man.
_____

I looked at the door, and thought about who could be behind that door. I thought about not answering it, but then I pushed it back thinking it would be more suspicious if I had not answered the door.

I got up enough courage and opened the door.

There stood a woman with a trayful of drinks. I had not remembered asking for this and got suspicious.

"Drinks, sir? The person at the counter said you looked like you needed it."

The suspicion in my mind did not completely leave, but I felt more relaxed and I did need a drink and anything was fine at the moment and blurted out what came to mind first, "Scotch, please."

She poured selected the drink from amidst the many bottles and put it on a silver platter with a couple of cups and handed it to me.

"Would that be all, sir?" I said that this was quite all right and sent her off. I began to pour my drink when I heard another knock on the door. The fear did not grip me like it did before as I was thinking the woman must have come back for something.

When I opened the door, I found myself to be wrong.
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The man opened the door, and I saw shock in his eyes. Then he seemed to have recomposed himself and said "Hello officer? Um... What can I do for you?"

His actions were deliberate, and seemed off. This could be the suspect but I was known to jump the gun so I cooled my head and said, "Yeah, I've got some questions to ask, if you don't mind?"

"Um... Oh, of course not, please uh, come in." He seemed to hesitate about the last statement about inviting me in. Something didn't seem right and I gave him a look over as he turned his back on me to close the door.
_____

As I closed the door, I felt the eyes of the cop boring into the back of my skull. I had to try and keep calm. As I turned around he looked around the room suspciously and an alarm went off as I caught a glimpes of the bag sticking out from under my bed its crimson stains telling of what was inside. As he neared the bed I thought fast and asked:

"Do you want a drink?" straining to hide the shaking in my voice.

He turned around to look at me, and I felt relieved.

"Yeah, sure."

"Pretty cold night outside." I said trying to make small talk as I started to pour him a drink.

"Yes, quite a cold night."

I handed him the drink and signaled for him to sit as I drew a chair towards him. I sat on the bed and as I did so I kicked the bag under the drapes to hide it from view.

Gaining more confindence hiding the evidence I asked, "So, what is this question you needed to ask me?"

To be continued.

I lol'd. The topic does catch you attention.

So this story is told from two point of views the detective and the murderer right? A nice idea i think it made the story stand out especially with a title like that :roll: :roll:

The plot was slow paced and i like that. Nothing good comes out of a story that is hastily written. The characters were not describe so i hope you would add it on soon.

BTW the idea of someone slicing another human into pieces then letting innocent children eat them was quite unrealistic.... Well especially the eating part

Lol. It really started out as a joke hence no character description and the wierd start in the beginning of feeding children the remains of Nate River. :P

I didn't want to move the plot along too fast since it is suppose to be a little suspence. :D

The view point did go into the clerk at the hotel desk. I used this tactic to throw off the reader a slight bit, though without a strong beginning I didn't go all out on the story.

if you're trying to tell your story with multiple POV,read a novel by chuck palahniuk titled "RANT".

the best multiple pov novel imo.

Nice story^^

Although something is bothering me... Killing Nate just because he irritated you. Doesn't that seem a bit... off?

Well someone was bound to do it sooner or later.

lol, Someone is bound to do something sooner or later.

???? What do you mean.....?? Is this Nate person famous in Fakku? Or is he some celebrity that everyone hates?

Lol. No Damien^^

He's just a person who gives smart comments once in a while, can be pissed off at times, likes to converse with Fakkers and most likely a good internet-friend.

This story is only fiction since it started out as a joke that persondude killed Nate, but soon developed into a story. But it's still a joke^^

O.O i see.... seems like i haven't met this person yet...but i'm kinda curious now lol

Wanna meet him? He's usually on the IRC but comes to the forums from time to time(not now, he's on school)^^

lol...i don't have IRC so i guess it is unlikely to meet him anytime soon.... Anyway i posted the names of the characters go check in your story's thread

Thanks. And you don't need an IRC. Just click the IRC button(which is beside the Forums button), enter your Chatname and Voila! You're on FAKKU IRC^^