[Winter Contest Entry 2018] Fireworks on New Year's Eve

I'm probably late, but I really wanted to submit something this year, even if I didn't have the time to do something longer. Here's a short piece I whipped up after watching the fireworks on New Year's Eve (from work...)

Fireworks on New Year's Eve

I like the repetition of "colour" in the first stanza, which is appropriate given that's what this poem seems to be all about. I like how each color of firework means something different and manages to tell a story. I think the one problem I have with the poem is the last two stanzas. The second to last one mostly, really. It breaks up the flow, which you might have been going for given where the story is headed, but I don't like how choppy it is.

This is really cool. I like the idea of color to describe the events and emotions. If I'm correct regarding the direction of this story, then I find the use of color even more endearing. This definitely covered the idea of chance.

I have to agree with d that the structure gets a bit odd by the end. Also, on a completely different tidbit, part of me wished the ring wasn't your typical gold as a descriptor.

Thanks for the comments, guys. For anyone interested, I will take this chance to shamelessly advertise what I've been working on for the majority of 2018:

The Blood of Kings

Interesting, I think I'll give it a look.

I'll see if I have time. The next semester is about to start and students often sponge up time.

Hey, I think it's very neat to see a poem here and there. I'll do my best to run through and talk about my immediate initial interpretations of the lines, not that they're too cryptic.


7 - Black and white, perhaps the night sky and stars? Perhaps the name of the song that began playing to a fireworks show?


8 - Color of sound, this is an interesting passage because it could mean many things. Maybe it's the color of absence before the fireworks launch?


8 - A nice pointing towards a blank night sky.


8 - Perhaps a blue shade, or maybe a blue-green?


8 - Is this the color of primrose? Ha, or perhaps a candy like a Turkish Delight? That was my first thought.




8 - Naturally, fireworks can be quite noisy.


10 - A purple hue, and commentary on the thumping that the loud blasts can evoke within one's body.


10 - Although glass is usually clear, maybe a stained glass? And isn't it interesting how the explosion of a firework can spread like a broken glass? But what is this love?


8 - Is she the love? Is this speaking to the memories that can be made during fireworks and can sometimes return when experiencing them?




8 - A nice descriptor.


8 - A more keener descriptor with interesting depth and emphasis.


8 - Rekindled, as opposed to freshly kindled. Perhaps more memories?


9 - Perhaps a call to the notion of using nights like those filled with fireworks as an event for a milestone of life.




4 - The trope of a moment of silence before a climax of sorts.




8 - A stunning image of ruby lips? From lipstick?


12 - Thus, fireworks burst, like sped-up videos of flowers in bloom.

Well, that was a nice bit of fun. I really enjoyed reading through this, I feel like, as someone who enjoys a nice fireworks display, that there's a lot to relate to, between the colors and the shapes, and the feelings that come up. I noted the pace in syllables next to each passage, mostly hovering around 8 per line. It occasionally deviated, but I still found it pleasant enough.

Thanks for submitting this, it's always nice to read something from you, Yanker.

Wow, thanks for the indepth analysis, Xenon!
I'll go through each line in depth as to what I was hoping to evoke (though as you can see I didn't quite succeed... but I'm still new to poetry, so everything is a learning experience!)

Ebony and ivory - referring to the colours themselves
The colour of the sound she plays - the piano

The colour of the moon and night
The colour of the sea in sight - both just setting the scene

The colour of her prim delight - so i kinda just randomly added this in to make the poem sound nice, but I originally wanted to use ebony and ivory as descsriptors for her hair and skin respectively.

Pounding, gunfire on the fronts
Harsh, violet, a storm within my chest. - sound effects

The blue of shattered glass, a shattered love - referring to the persona's past love
And the blue of her eyes, shining. - contrasting with his new love

Green, like the grass beneath our feet
And the grass on the other side. - mainly hinting at how hes happier now that he left his old relationship

Orange, like rekindled fire - ditto

Gold, like the ring within my pocket. - he's planning a proposal

Stillness, and then - deliberately different to mimic the moment of silence

Red, the colour of her smile
Like the blossoming of a rose across the sky. - red is the colour of passion and love, the colour of her lips, and is comparison to the explosive finale to the fireworks.

I'm a little sad I couldn't spend more time to produce something better. But I've been really busy and burned out lately (after legitimately writing a 230k word epic... see signature for details!)

You're most welcome.

Something very beautiful about poetry is that there will inevitably be numerous ways to interpret the words and passages. I wanted to share with you my immediate thoughts about each line because it's a fun exercise and shows you what a fresh reader is thinking as they go. Just like interpreting fine art, some people will have different theories about your motivations and meanings, maybe things you weren't even aware of in the first place. Sometimes people may completely miss your subtext, chasing their own thoughts and feelings instead. It's great to learn now what you meant, but don't consider it a failure if I might have seen different things in your lines. That helps to make it more broad and pliable, and thus more meaningful to me. I'm no expert in poetry, but that's what I enjoy most from it.

As well, I'm just pleased that you managed to find the effort to contribute. Thank you for that. And congratulations on your epic. If it is anything like your vampire story of old that you posted here (only better since I'm sure that you've gained a lot of experience since then), I'm certain that it will be fantastic. I hope, if you decide to seek publication, that it will be well-received.