[Winter Contest Entry 2022] Passage
2
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
Very picturesque lines and very dashing descriptions. I can feel the eminence of the passing of time within this piece. Almost like a succinct representation of lives lived within its confines. Some lines are beautifully gentle, while others feel biting and harsh. There is hopeful positivity as well as melancholic reality. But I love the end which applauds the reader(?) for their part in the world until they exit the stage. Perhaps a reference to death? Yet, night will surge into day, and ye the play may begin again. Beautiful entry this year, Yuri. Thank you for gracing us with it.
My absolute favorite portion is this one:
Awash with endless possibility,
Future secured by glittering band.
A staircase leading to the light,
Followed by a descent into the dark.
The contrast forever stark,
I just feel as though it flows so well together as the sounds weave between each other. I very much appreciate it.
Lastly, I can tell that this is no standard form of poetry. Of course it is rather free form, mostly. However, since I did teach myself how to scan poetry in the process of crafting my own entry, I wanted to submit to you my very novice interpretation of how this one scans. Perhaps not that useful, but I found it fun nonetheless and maybe you might find such data interesting. Enjoy:
My absolute favorite portion is this one:
DatYuriThough wrote...
Granted an undefined land, Awash with endless possibility,
Future secured by glittering band.
A staircase leading to the light,
Followed by a descent into the dark.
The contrast forever stark,
I just feel as though it flows so well together as the sounds weave between each other. I very much appreciate it.
Lastly, I can tell that this is no standard form of poetry. Of course it is rather free form, mostly. However, since I did teach myself how to scan poetry in the process of crafting my own entry, I wanted to submit to you my very novice interpretation of how this one scans. Perhaps not that useful, but I found it fun nonetheless and maybe you might find such data interesting. Enjoy:
Spoiler:
2
xninebreaker
FAKKU Writer
I specifically really like the passage of time and the imagery in the first quarter or so of the poem. Produces such great imagery
2
DatYuriThough
Goddess of Nature
Xenon wrote...
Very picturesque lines and very dashing descriptions. I can feel the eminence of the passing of time within this piece. Almost like a succinct representation of lives lived within its confines. Some lines are beautifully gentle, while others feel biting and harsh. There is hopeful positivity as well as melancholic reality. But I love the end which applauds the reader(?) for their part in the world until they exit the stage. Perhaps a reference to death? Yet, night will surge into day, and ye the play may begin again. Beautiful entry this year, Yuri. Thank you for gracing us with it.My absolute favorite portion is this one:
Spoiler:
I just feel as though it flows so well together as the sounds weave between each other. I very much appreciate it.
Lastly, I can tell that this is no standard form of poetry. Of course it is rather free form, mostly. However, since I did teach myself how to scan poetry in the process of crafting my own entry, I wanted to submit to you my very novice interpretation of how this one scans. Perhaps not that useful, but I found it fun nonetheless and maybe you might find such data interesting. Enjoy:
Spoiler:
Thank you for the kind analysis, Xenon! I especially appreciate the scan, gives me some form of hard data to refer to when I write poetry again. Also, just interesting in general to see how it's formatted in terms of beats and refrains, etc. I'm glad there was enough for you to pull from to enjoy, given it was a rushed piece and I didn't have much time for planning. Amusingly enough, the rhyme scheme (or lack thereof) came last in the production. I went for striking imagery first and foremost, with language that would leave a lasting impression, and then retroactively inserted rhyme where I could make it work appropriately. Hence why it's a little unorthodox in terms of its overall style. But I guess that's my style as a writer/poet overall. A little bit of a patchwork writer who likes to throw all kinds of things into her works, haha. Anyway, thank you and the others for inviting me back once again to participate in this little tradition of ours. Always nice to return to my writing roots.
3
Really enjoyed the uninhibited metaphorical language, filled with lots of interesting imagery, that I actually felt required extra effort from my imagination as the reader. And it wrapped up nicely, felt delightful. I like self indulgent art, I love when I can tell someone wrote something truly for themselves. Good work on this piece.
2
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
DatYuriThough wrote...
Thank you for the kind analysis, Xenon! I especially appreciate the scan, gives me some form of hard data to refer to when I write poetry again. Also, just interesting in general to see how it's formatted in terms of beats and refrains, etc. I'm glad there was enough for you to pull from to enjoy, given it was a rushed piece and I didn't have much time for planning. Amusingly enough, the rhyme scheme (or lack thereof) came last in the production. I went for striking imagery first and foremost, with language that would leave a lasting impression, and then retroactively inserted rhyme where I could make it work appropriately. Hence why it's a little unorthodox in terms of its overall style. But I guess that's my style as a writer/poet overall. A little bit of a patchwork writer who likes to throw all kinds of things into her works, haha. Anyway, thank you and the others for inviting me back once again to participate in this little tradition of ours. Always nice to return to my writing roots.Oh, fascinating! Thank you for going into your writing process. I find your method of going for imagery and language first, and then subsequently inserting rhyming to be a lovely literary choice. I'm glad to hear it worked for you on this piece. Thanks for coming back to join us once again. It's always great to read a little something from you.
2
This is charming and I like the imagery. I feel it addresses many of our hopes and fears and feels both positive and negative. I’m a sucker for balance like that since I’m a person who always believes in equal outcome. Though I guess, I’m more into what’s fair than what’s equal. That aside, I enjoyed how I felt like I was part of the story and that my reading of it was an act not to be forgotten.