[Winter Contest Entry 2023] FP: Love’s True Name

In a land of fire, brimstone, and ashes, there can be no respite. The monotony of the cycle of war will last for eternity. Two demonic armies clash, red against grey, mixed with black bile and blood. Hailing from the lowlands, Mephisto’s Scarlet Legion hungrily seeks to seize the throne of the highlands. Marquis Bel’s Alabaster Battalion opposes them with the might of their fortified citadel, defending their marble spires with avarice. Two lone soldiers stand upon the precipice, their willingness to continue the cycle has reached its end. However, in Hell, one cannot escape their providence so easily.

Another vision. Dib stared out on the opposing sides of charging monstrosities before him. The combatants of war mixed into a whirlpool of chaos, swirling into a tunnel. He took a step back, but it spaghettified him into a blinding light, causing him to wake from his daze. It was not as if he were asleep, as beings such as he had no need for rest, but was apparently absent-mindedly marching with his unit, preparing to assault the gate leading to the highlands. He had served and killed for eons, but never before the visions haunted him already decades ago did he feel how the endless battle seemed so exhausting. He was a devil, a captain of Mephisto’s army, and led several platoons. He had killed countless lesser demons and led numerous successful breaches of territory. At this very moment, he marched for Mephisto and the lowlands. And yet, he lately found himself sapped of energy, motivation, and will. He was assuredly cursed.

There was another who Dib had fought across the ages. She thwarted him at every turn. Leading him down mistaken paths and dispatching the imps of his troop with ease. When his weapon met hers on the battlefield, he truly felt alive. This rivalry between them also seemed to last an eternity. At first, it was an interaction of anger, rage, and hatred towards the enemy, and yet it grew into something that could even be considered playful. His slip up here, her mistake there, they would find ways to come out ahead of the other. Eventually, however, this game between them became something much more. At some point along the way, at some time he could no longer remember, he had fallen. He realized that he had lost his war against her a long time ago. And then the visions came along and complicated their relationship even more.

Another dream. Lil peered down from her ivory balcony to the scarlet demons below. They leapt like waves of a bloody ocean, hacking at the foundations, dooming her to fall. She looked up to the sunburnt skies and black clouds of smoke above, pitying her futile resistance. She longed for an escape, as if she had the capacity to wish for salvation, yet she knew no meaning of the concept. Then, a light broke up the smoke and enshrouded her sight in a blinding beam. She blinked back into consciousness, in Maquis Bel’s war room, waiting on him making plans with his tacticians. She waited until the tacticians excused themselves, then inquired after her orders. “Will I do something different this time, father? I crave a novel experience.” Yet there would be little difference from usual.

“You will halt their offensive on the gate should they breach and pour into the east ward, my daughter, as is your necessary responsibility,” the marquis shifted his smoking, crimson eyes from the map of the highlands to her, questioning this newfound urge in her mind. “Why have you grown bored of your position? It is not in our nature to change. This war has gone on for eons, and even more before I willed you into existence. Someday, I will earn my promotion to a duke of Hell, and I will need you to inherit defense of this station.” The rebellious daughter sighed and relented, bowing her head in servitude.

“As you wish, my sire,” she confirmed. He nodded and waved his hand, dismissing her, his gaze returning to the map. Despite her obvious submission, she felt the futility of the ages clutching her very being, promising to imprison her in this unholy place for an even greater eternity. In truth, the idea of becoming marchioness of the Marble Citadel was an excruciatingly painful reality, and one that ever since the dreams began, became one that she wanted to go to great lengths to avoid. With the assault from the lowlands arriving soon, as the gargoyles reported, the time would come soon for her secret meeting with that one.

Dib crept along the trenches before the massive wall separating the two regions. He traveled along with his confidant—if a friend could ever be known in these lands to anyone—Amal, his first lieutenant. His unwavering loyalty had been proven in countless battles, and despite these clandestine scouting missions, he never revealed their existence to anyone else in the Scarlet Legion, nor did he threaten Dib with blackmail, even though it would have given him an edge against his superior. They soon came upon the cave entrance to a hidden scout’s hovel. Dib nodded to Amal. He stood guard and would wait at the entrance to keep watch for any soldiers that could interrupt those within.

As Dib cautiously crept within, a few dark paths into the cave eventually revealed the flickering light of a fire reflected from further in, like a beacon to him. He had no need to eat, no need to drink, and yet he felt parched. Soon he would be satiated. He unsheathed a knife as a precaution, attempting to be as silent as possible. He peered his head down the final corner, seeing the familiar spot with nothing but stones and stalagmites. He gripped his knife tightly as the lit fireplace came into view. Slowly he approached, his darkened eyes darted left and right, searching for anyone that must be within. Until, despite his guard, someone formed from the shadows behind him, revealing their own dagger in hand. The fireplace reflected its light off the pristine blade’s edge. Dib spotted it, following its slow movement, the light’s source must have come from behind him, he knew this, and yet his hand that gripped the weapon wavered. He found that he welcomed what was to come. The blade hovered behind him at his flank, threatening to stab at any moment. Then it floated upwards and crept in front of his throat. He could feel the aura of the cold steel as a hand slithered around the side of his head and partially covered his mouth. It was burning hot and contrasted with the cold, creeping blade that could slice his neck and pour out the black bile within.

“You come here time and time again, yet your defenses decline and decline. You have become almost too easy.” Lil’s sultry voice identified her. Dib’s hand that gripped the knife quivered a final time before slumping to his side and dropping the weapon. He was weak and so hungry. His empty hand raised slowly towards her head behind him and grazed her hair. Her grip on his jaw tightened as punishment, tilting his head back and slipping between his curved ram’s horns that protruded from his temples, across his carmine face and over his ruby eyes, removing his ability to see her visage as his head tilted back. Her blade pressed into his neck, causing him to grasp and open his mouth in reflex. She smirked at her complete control over him. She leaned forward and stuck out her forked tongue to meet his that rushed out to chance at hers. They twirled and entwined, becoming a passionate and deep kiss between the two lovers. Their tryst in this hidden cave became Dib’s only source of purpose for so long, that it became entirely predictable how weak this made him. How weak Lil made him as he basked in her presence and attention. He felt, momentarily, as if the war, the fire and brimstone, the pillars of smoke, as if Hell itself ceased to exist. As if it was only them in all of existence. In all of eternity. It was invigorating and he never wanted it to end. Yet the moment did unfortunately abate as they sat with each other.

“I meant what I said. You’ve changed. You used to cut down my soldiers left and right, you’d foolishly give me chase, right into another trap. Now you are mere putty in my arms. It’s as if your essence has transformed.”

“Do you detest it?” He questioned, expecting one answer, yet becoming suspicious of her critique.

“I cannot say that I do. It’s just different,” she professed. There was a hint of longing in her voice that he picked up on, a craving similar to his own.

“Our bouts were refreshing, fun even. But you have changed as well. I can tell plainly that you yearn to leave this exhausting cycle of ours. Ever since…” He hesitated and she continued.

“…The dreams,” she finished, and he nodded in response.

“Something calls you elsewhere. Do you know what it is?” he asked in earnest.

“No, but I know that I will feel incomplete until I find out,” she gazed upwards towards what could be nothing else but her uncertain future. “As impossible as it seems, I feel the pull to leave all of you behind.”

“Then I want to go with you.” She turned her head towards him, uncertain if he even understood the ramifications of that statement.

“You don’t know for what you wish. I don’t even know if it’s possible to escape this cycle, let alone with you in tow,” she scoffed.

“Would that displease you?” he breathed out naturally. She shook her head rejecting the notion, and he continued after a moment. “I don’t know what will become of this place, if the war will continue even after us like it did before us, but especially since the visions, the only thing I desire now is to be with you. I don’t even care where that is, where that takes us. Just as long as I’m with you. Just take me with you. Always,” he pleaded, almost to the point of begging as he wrapped his arms around her and held onto her as if he would be whisked away if he didn’t.

Lil slowly smiled and felt the contours of his body as it held hers. “You really are a fool…”

They stayed in that embrace for a moment more before they heard the footsteps come from an onlooker. They separated and grabbed their weapons only to discover it was Amal who greeted them. “My lord and lady, the prophecies seem to call to you as well.”

“You see them too, Amal? Is it…is it more widespread than we know?” Dib interrogated, but Amal merely shook his head.

“Not in anyone else I have seen. No one has expressed such a drastic change in personality or drive as you two…aside from myself, after all. It was one of the reasons I faithfully aided you with these meetings, captain. I wanted to discover the depth of these changes.”

“Regardless of that, Amal, seeing this much is a threat. You are aware of that, right?” Dib felt hostile, but also more inquisitive than in any sense of danger.

“Yes…However, what if I were to tell you both that there would be a way to grant that which you seek? It might also see an end to the cycle of war, at least for a time.” The question piqued Lil’s interest.

“And what would that be?” Lil asked, unsure if listening to his answer was just to humor him or find credibility.

“My lady, the marquis would never let you escape, not if he were aware of your departure. You know why, do you not?” Amal looked upon Lil, careful not to upset one far above his station.

“Yes. He created me and can beckon me no matter where I would go,” she admitted.

“Because he created you and willed you into being with your true name,” he clarified. “This is different from Dib and myself. No one possesses the power to control us in the same way. To speak a devil’s true name is to wield supreme control over them.” Lil’s gaze lowered at their realization of her vulnerability. “Therefore, the only way we can assure you a chance of freedom is to eliminate the marquis.” The notion of obliterating her creator, a man with vastly more power and experience than the three of them put together, was laughably suicidal.

Dib spoke out, “Impossible. The only way we could even the odds is if we had the marquis’ true name.” Amal nodded and pointed to Lil.

“And she possesses that key, do you not? He did create you, after all,” they looked towards her expectantly.

“Yes. Bel the Unyielding,” she uttered as if she had committed a grave crime.

“…Marquis Bel the Unyielding.” Amal repeated and nodded. “Then we will need a plan.”

“You could take me as prisoner before the marquis and we could strike as he is stunned. But how could you get me in without much attention?” Dib pondered.

“We could take the backway out this cavern. It opens within the fortress and once inside I might be able to present you before my father without too much attention. But at that point, even if successful, how would we flee freely?” Lil probed her thoughts for answers.

Amal looked to the distance in thought, sighed and spoke sincerely. “I have an idea. It will seem an outrageous request, but if it causes the possibilities to materialize, it will be a requirement.” The two stared at him, waiting for his inquiry, unsure if they would like what they would hear. “I will need your true names as well.”

Dib scoffed at the suggestion. “The impudence of such a request. You really think us fools, that we would give them so easily? We intend to obliterate the marquis with such information, and you wish to have the possibility to do that very same thing to us?”

“My lord, if all the years I have served you mean anything, as I have little else to offer but the potential to abscond from here, it will have to suffice. And if little else convinces you…it is prophesied to come to pass.” As Amal said as much, a faint golden glitter sparkled in his eyes. Dib mulled it over, critical of the suggestion, but Lil took a step closer to the lieutenant.

It seemed that this would become the opportunity of her immortal lifetime, and she did not want to lose this chance. Even if it meant eternal servitude to this one, it would be preferable to the monotony of her misery. “Lil’lit the Ambitious,” she announced confidently. Dib stared at her profile and for a brief moment on the realization of what information she spilled out, everything in his peripheral dissipated into nothingness. Amal nodded towards her and looked towards his compatriot.

Lil turned her head to Dib. Her crimson eyes gazed at him. Her marble facial features sternly clenched. Her slender onyx horns extended upwards from her forehead. Never before had she looked so resolute, except, perhaps, when they had previously been in battle with each other. She was the most beautiful being in this plane. “Lil’lit the Ambitious…” Dib repeated. Lil felt her body tense at his utterance of her true name. She gritted her teeth in defiance, on reflex. Her eyes shut in primal fear. She felt a well of anxiety from within her core, but after a few seconds, with nothing to follow up on her name, the discomfort receded. Despite her visible unease, Dib’s gaze never left her. She was the only thing in the entire universe, as if even Amal had vanished from the world. And in that moment of exclusive consciousness, he pronounced out his own towards her as if she were here alone, “Dib’buk the Longing.”

“…Dib’buk the Longing.” she slowly recited. He felt that anxiousness that she must have felt, yet he felt no desire to flee from it. Truthfully, it was as if she had already possessed it for as long as he knew her. This state of submission, it felt almost, worryingly, as if it was where he belonged. There was a masochistic sense of safety that he felt as he prepared himself to enact her will. And yet, nothing came. The anxiety, and the sense of belonging too, soon dissipated from his body. Slowly, his peripheral returned, and Amal came into view once more. He nodded again solemnly.

“So, it is. So, it will be. Ready yourselves. I will begone to prepare. May his will guide you,” Amal wished them well and departed haste. It was not certain what that expression even meant in these lands. If it were a plea to the high lord of Hell, Dib suspected that their suffering would bring him great amusement.

“Were we supposed to get his true name as well? If nothing else than for the sake of equal trade?” Lil asked of her now companion. Dib eventually shrugged in response.

“Perhaps it wasn’t needed for what he has planned,” he relented. Lil glowered at him in an incredulous manner, unsure if he acknowledged the gravity of the situation. It was as if he felt no fear in letting his true name be known. Either his trust in Amal was confidently placed beyond any suspicion, or he really was a mere fool that she confessed her true name to as well. Had they had the ability, her porcelain cheeks would have turned a shade darker in embarrassment at the realization of what she had just done a moment ago. She tried to put it out of her mind as the pair got ready to cross over into the fortress and thereby enter the Marble Citadel. Lil disarmed and shackled him in bracers and chains of agate that she subsequently fetched, hoping it would serve as convincing.

The pair crossed the border. They were stopped by demonic soldiers, inquiring if their lady required aid. She ordered them to fortify the gate and border wall, warning them of the oncoming invasion. The Scarlet Legion would surely strike quickly once they noticed their captain had been abducted. Unsurprisingly, it was a believable narrative that fell in line with earlier reports of troop movements. They entered the Marble Citadel at her request to bring the enemy captain before her father for interrogation. At that point, however, the pair was escorted to the war room where the marquis would be found.

At their entrance and announcement into the room, the marquis dismissed his advisors and the guards in turn. He clasped his hands together in celebration of his daughter’s achievement. “Splendid, my brood. You have brought me a gift befitting my expectations. Earnestly, I expected as much. Although for it to be the captain of their forces…That is something on which I will capitalize. It was exactly as you mentioned, spy. Come forth for your reward.” At first, the pair were excited that their plan had worked, but that last part caused a sense of dread. Then he appeared. Amal paced out of the shadows. The marquis turned and tossed a sack of onyx and garnet gemstones at his feet, a few spilling out, to which he knelt and collected.

Dib felt a rush of anger as he saw his only confidant betray him in this way for mere baubles. He made a scowl at the “lieutenant” as he attempted to think rationally. Yes, the name Lil gave them to pacify the marquis. Acting quickly, he unfastened the bracers and tossed them aside, shouting out the marquis’ true name, “Bel the Unyielding! I command you to halt!” The marquis looked towards him and began to slowly laugh.

“Such insolence, you really did tell him what you believe to be my true name, my daughter? To be honest, I thought when the spy informed me of this information, I thought you were bluffing.” His laughter left until a cold frown remained on his face. Lil drew her blade, but not quickly enough to stop her father from using his greatest weapon of words against her. “Lil’lit the Ambitious, halt,” and with that firm declaration, she froze, her blade dropping to the floor. She was imprisoned by his will and began to feel queasy. This opportunity that she thought was her permit to freedom proved to be a trick that she jumped on too quickly. Was it Amal’s fault that he betrayed them? Or Was it Dib’s for his foolishness? Was it her father’s for his expectations? Or was she the greatest fool of them all for believing there was an escape from all of this? “I cannot say I am surprised. It is in our nature, daughter. We are devils and blood or no, we will betray those closest to us if it means an advantage to come out ahead. A pity. I really felt this formation of you was my ideal inheritor. I will have to obliterate you and try again.”

One that admission, Dib dove for her blade that fell to the floor and attempted to strike at the marquis. “Dib’buk the Longing, halt,” the marquis uttered, proving that Amal had fed him accurate information. The solace that he accepted before from Lil was nowhere to be found in this stasis. Before, he had welcomed his submission, but his gut churned and twisted in defiance, being enslaved to the eternal enemy of his general. It was not the safety that he craved. It was anything but. This was the anxiety that she felt, but much more deadly. The marquis approached him slowly, his crimson eyes like Lil’s, they bellowed a red mist as he raised his fist in plated gauntlet and struck his face. Once, twice, several more times. The blade was flung from his grip. He was forced to stand still, and Lil forced to watch. “Without his captain, Mephisto’s forces will be doomed to fall. His march here will be doomed to fail, and we will rout them all, chase every last one of you down and hunt you to obliteration, putting an end to this eternal war. Then we will unite under my banner and propose to the Unholy Court to finally take the fight back to Heaven. It has been too long.”

“Indeed, it has, Belphegor,” Amal articulated. The marquis pulled his fist back and turned to his lowly spy. That was a name he had not heard in some time. Not since…

“Who are you, spy?” he questioned.

“Apologies, I suppose you go by Belphegor the Unyielding now? Halt, marquis.” As Amal uttered those words, the marquis froze. Amal stepped forward towards the three of them, his façade shifting and tilting, revealing his true form. His clothing brightened, a tabard of white and embroidered with a seal of gold. A bearded gypsum mask covered his entire face betraying no emotion. From his temples—although unattached—images of golden, flowing, feathery wings extended and flapped, as below a lion’s tail swished back and forth behind him. Despite being commanded with his true name, the marquis still retained enough power to speak.

“Unbelievable. A double-agent for Heaven, hidden among our ranks. For how long?” The marquis could not help but laugh at the absurdity. He coughed out a chuckle, for he knew his time had come.

“Marquis Belphegor the Unyielding. By order of the Holy High Council of Heaven and by his holy will, you are hereby sentenced to obliteration.” Amal’s voice took on an ethereal and metallic tone that almost pierced through the room without effort, sent straight into their minds through telepathy. He unsheathed a golden blade and thrust it into the marquis’ chest, pulling it out and shoving him to the floor. A wound of holy light expelled from his body and shined a blinding light, causing his entire body to soon be enveloped, eventually exploding into a pile of ash and embers. The marquis was no more.

Amal looked towards the two remaining soldiers in the room, feeling their fates uncertain as they were before a soldier of Heaven, their fabled and eternal enemy. They were helpless. He knew their true names and he was armed. It would be effortless to turn them both into similar piles sprawled out on the floor. “Lil’lit the Ambitious. Dib’buk the Longing. Renew.” At his behest, they regained control of their faculties.

“Was what he said true, Amal? Were you a spy for the Alabaster Battalion all along? But you’ve been in the Legion for as long as I can remember. For that to be true…” Dib gasped out as if metaphorical lungs began to function once more.

“What the late marquis said was true. I was a spy for him working with the Scarlet Legion and feeding Citadel information to prolong the conflict and keep them at bay. I kept it hidden from him, and from you, of course, my true allegiance to the holy ethereal body. I have remained here for eons on a holy mission to manipulate the power structure here to ensure the balance does not tip too far on one side. The marquis was on track to succeed in his efforts and was to set his sights on unification and war with Heaven. Obviously, this is something we would never allow to come to pass. Inevitably someone will take his place. Perhaps that will be Mephistopheles of the lowlands, if his assault will succeed now that the head of the Alabaster Battalion has fallen. Perhaps it will be someone else from the Marble Citadel that will take charge. But something tells me that his daughter no longer wishes to prolong the cycle.” As he extrapolated, Lil cautiously heeded his words, and acknowledged them to be true. “Be not afraid. The prophecy was no delusion. In fact, it was gifted to both of you from the High Heavens to awaken you from your indoctrination. You are destined to play a bigger part in creation, and for that to come to pass, we must be gone from here.” Lil grabbed her blade and tossed Dib his knife. “Since I gave the magus your true names, we will be summoned away from this place momentarily.”

“So, you did need our true names for a better purpose than just to betray us and make us helpless before the marquis,” Dib chided, with a hint of playfulness.

“My apologies, though it was sufficient to get the marquis to let his guard down in believing he had the upper hand,” he explained.

“And you never gave us your true name in trade for ours, either,” Lil protested her earlier grievance.

“At the time, I could not give you my true name, as it would have revealed that my name is not actually Amal. In truth, I did not need your true names, and you do not need mine. But the magus does to summon you as well. You will find that one’s true name grants those you give it the power to control you. To manipulate you to do anything they desire. And even to die, should the wielder have the power and desire to command it. That is why you must both guard it for eternity and only grant it to those most deserving, either out of necessity, or should you wish the recipient to have the power to destroy you, but trust them not to.” He turned towards them both in turn, giving a strong hint at how they felt about each other. Dib peeked at Lil, and she returned his gaze. Momentarily, a glyph appeared below each of them and encircled them in arcane runes. “It has begun. Fall in with me and prepare yourselves.” As their bodies began to shine with blue light, they grouped together. Just as the door to the throne room opened as the marquis’ advisors prepared their next barrage of stratagems. They screamed out at the invader, wielding blades and ready to charge. Amal stood in front, protecting the group as their bodies were enveloped with sapphire light.

Time began to slow to a crawl. The devil advisors ran with might. Amal’s hand clutched the handle of his blade should they get too close. But Dib and Lil ignored it all, as they stared at each other surrounded in radiating light. They clutched onto each other in a satisfying embrace. Lil’lit the Ambitious was finally getting what she wanted and leaving this accursed existence. Whatever met them on the other side, she felt braver to be able to meet it with Dib at her side. And Dib’buk the Longing found his new purpose. It was no longer sufficient to be a mindless soldier fighting for a detached general. Now he had someone worth fighting for and doing everything in his power to help her dreams come true, even if she did not yet know what they were. For two devils to fall in love, encouraged by visions of holy influence, it was the making of a legendary fable. They held each other tightly as the winds of planar travel carried them away. The three were surrounded by dazzling ethereal light travelling at speeds faster than any they had known.

Amal turned to them as they traversed the interplanar pathway, his telepathic echoing voice could be heard clearly, thankfully. “My name, while not Amal, is simply Lama, the reverse. Or, in full, Lamassu. Perhaps, one day, I will grant you the rest of it if I learn to trust you with my whole being.” This partial revelation made them feel content, a feeling previously alien to them. “With the aid of his prophecy, I have faith that you with learn the way.” It was as if he could feel proud of them, like a mentor in their new lives. Then, suddenly, the lights slowed, and their surroundings phased into existence.

The three of them stood in what looked like a cavern. They looked around to gain their bearings, skulls lined shelves and there were numerous tomes on tables and in piles. They were inside an enormous summoning circle that established this room as a proper gate. “Magus, you were successful. I am quite pleased!” Lama called out. In response to his voice, clacking footsteps ran closer from a nearby set of stone stairs. It was a smaller skeletal figure that peered at them with aquamarine sparkling eyes. His fresh, bony white visage stared at them, like he saw something magnificent.

“Grandfather! Grandfather, it worked! Come quickly!” At his beckoning, a set of heavier clattering came from above the gate they entered from. It descended the stairs in full, bright sapphire eyes traced them, studying what now entered his presence. “Welcome, my guests, to my necropolis.”

I love a happy ending of patricide and double/triple agents involving star-crossed lovers, haha.

Okay, seriously, I enjoyed that. I particularly enjoyed the narration of Dib's marching, fighting, his initial introduction and exchange of blows with Lil, their relationship developing from enemies who seemingly met by chance, into rivals who clamored for the contest they shared, and then into something intimate and special that gave them purpose above the monotonous, eternal conflict that they have been embroiled in. The language really drew me in, starting off in places relatively simple and pedestrian (I don't mean that insultingly, in the sense in left me calm and without much in the way of tension) and then elegantly struck true with some really evocative phrasing. Excellent work.

I think Lil was my favourite of our four characters who speak, she comes across every bit the worthy successor to her father's position, considerate and intelligent, and it's quite amusing to see her a touch demoralised with how blase and trustworthy Dib is in the wake of the two of them providing Amal their true names and all that means. It left me with a chuckle, imaging that she sags her shoulders and she sighs thinking to herself "This is the man I have trusted my life to, risked by loving in the first place? Hells below, do *I* know how to pick them..." I would nitpick at that more if it wasn't for Dib and Amas' relationship being as established as it was, he has no reason to suspect betrayal of trust and like Lamassu says by the end, it was an act of necessity. But I appreciate Lil as least vocalises her discontent at how easily they traded that information with nothing in return other than the vague promise it would be for the best. Honestly, the more I read the more tense I felt doing so. I wavered back and forth over whether Lil and Dib would escape and be together, I didn't trust Amas for a second, especially when he didn't offer his name back to them in equal exchange, but the reveal he wasn't on either side, but Heaven's, but sympathetic to Dib and Lil was a nice twist I didn't see coming. I stories where there's a summersault of emotion coming in quick exchanges. Be proud of that execution!

That all said, give my man Lamassu a medal. He spent uncountable years touring Hell under a falsified persona as a lesser demon, serving one closely for all that time, under the orders to kill another demon all in aid of a prophecy that involves "uplifting" two more demons. That's dedication.

Well done, Xenon. It was a pleasure to read your entry!

First of all huge points for the triple theme inclusion. I'm a huge fan of writing on theme and within constraints. I feel like all three concepts of war, reversal, and dreams were meaningful in the story.

The entire piece is written very tightly and is incredibly readable from start to finish. Not a single dry paragraph. Your edge is as sharp as ever. I'm particularly impressed by how well these scenes are transitioning. Often times, I make the pitfall of giving too much unnecessary bloat to get characters from point A to point B, and being able to do it well is a real skill. For instance, you have just a few sentences are you are able to get them out of the cavern where they were meeting, and into the room of the Marquis, and it feels incredibly natural.

And let me talk about Amal. Man, Xenon with the wake DP reversal not once, not twice, but three times!

At first, I thought it was a very vanilla story about star-crossed lovers and a loyal friend (and it is, but it's not very vanilla). I was like, damn love this Amal guy, what a bro. Then, I was like fk Amal, all my bros hate Amal. And then, I get reversed AGAIN and find out he's actually helping. It's a little amazing that I fell for all of them. And then he's welcoming you to a necropolis(?!) at the end. I don't even know what's going on, but I think I got reversal-ed again lol.

Me falling for every twist is a sign that each one was written convincingly. So good. I have tried to write plot twists before, but I feel they are incredibly difficult to do well. With Amal, you hid your cards at each turn so well, playing only what you need as you need it.

Also, it's very impressive that you manage to build up Lil and Dib without really going into depth of their history together. The only thing we know is that they clashed on the battlefield. All of their relationship is encapsulated within their interactions and words with each other in the present moment. The cavern scene is very intimate and immediately sells you on the two. This is opposed to building their relationship through a re-telling of their history with one another and their developing feelings. Here, we are told they have feelings, and that's basically it. The entire burden of establishing their feelings for each other, to the reader, has to be done at that cavern scene. And you did it. Insane.

No critiques here. Amazing work!

Haha! How quick the answer to one's ailments seems to devolve to murder. Well, I suppose that's just the devil's way!

But yes, I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed it. I attempted to create a pattern in the beginning mirroring Dib's and Lil's situations. It sets up the star-crossed lovers element, but simultaniously introduced the hazy backdrop of their dreams and visions which serve as driving forces of their change in character. To help make that digestible, there is a pattern of flow that bounce between the two of them. I didn't really want one to shine above the other, even if I did have to introduce them in an order, but I'm glad to hear that it was easy enough to follow. I didn't want to waste too much time expositioning on the setting of the world. I gave myself a paragraph, and little more, to allow the reader to accept the setting of the story. No worries, I do take that as a compliment. My sincere thanks.



I am very pleased that you like her that much. I really wanted to show, if her true name wasn't obvious enough, just how strong and driven she is as a character to chase after what she desires. That juxtaposes fairly well with her himbo of a partner who would simply find himself bereft of all meaning were she to leave the room for a mere five minutes. Humorously, I'm really glad you picked up on her incredulous impression of him in that moment where she figures he really is an idiot, like she would sigh out, "I really fell in love with a complete buffoon," and it is well deserved. Though it was the opportunity of an eternity, it did carry an incredible risk that they both, unbelievably in the face of insurmontable and suicidal odds, bet against. But, here I was expecting that the twist would be too easy to see coming. I'm glad to hear that it kept you intrigued and surprised.

I really must say as well that I am very thankful that you found something to like about their dynamic considering your obvious preference for yuri. Although, that does cause me to ponder about your own story with such an important relationship also being seemingly hetero between Elaina and Roderick. Actually, that does make me rather curious. Is there any particular reason for that or is that just something the characters you feel the characters you created would have preferred themselves? I find myself fleshing out Lil and Dib in my mind bit by bit, but ideally I would like to get them to a state of being where I could imagine them branching out beyond their dimensions and beginning to act and feel as living individuals. Perhaps it's merely because you have spent a long time fleshing out your characters, but I did really feel like they had lived out their entire lives already, and I became privy to only their latest lived experience, peering at them through the looking glass, as it were.



It's incredibly dark to imagine a mercilous Hell world where demons war for eternity between each other, vying for power. But there's also something insideous imagining a Heaven that plots them against each other according to their whim, their impressions of a greater balance of things. They play the long game, or in Lamassu's case, the really really really long game. It was his moment to strike while the iron was hot just as much as it was Lil's. I just have a lot of fun imagining these kinds of supernatural settings, and honestly part of what attracts me to the setting you created as well.

Thank you once again for your comments and feedback. It really made the effort worthwhile. I hope you don't mind, since you made your Discord information available, I would like to send you a friend request so I can reach out directly for the next event, or should you have need to toss out literary ideas for one reason or another. That way I won't have to rely on our good friend crazr to pass along an invitation to you. Just don't be surprised as I have another username on that platform.

A wise woman once said: Violence is the solution to all the world’s problems, and the beginning of them too. But yeah, you hit all the beats you needed to, brevity in the truly Shakespearean sense means no less or more than what is needed, exactly, and I feel the exposition was everything I needed. Sure, I want more, I want to know all the details of this fantastic world, but for the story the amount was perfect.



Himbo energy! Love that, my friend whom is a member of the D&D party I DM for often summarises his character with that word, love seeing it used, haha. And it perfectly describes Dib in that moment, and as much as it causes Lil some consternation, it really cements the sincerity of their love. Like, yeah okay he’s a little witless here, but that’s part of his charm and she clearly can see past it and it doesn’t change her estimation of him. Beautiful.

In all honesty, despite the username I am a bisexual woman, I lean in favour of women and am generally more attracted to them, but heterosexual relationships aren’t something I’m biased against. If anything, and this is quite amusing to admit since the lion’s share of the work I have written is Homosexual in nature, most of my characters in most of my works are straight these days. POV characters are typically lesbians, or bi women who I pair off with women, but in the case of my most popular work (a Shingeki No Kyojin fanfic) I have one gay couple outnumbered by 5 other straight ones, and one that is so ambiguously gay that not even I, the writer, can confidently say if they’re just good friends or not. As for Roderick and Elaina, I would say it’s a conscious decision to place her in a heterosexual relationship if for no other reason than I think it’s another layer of tragedy for her character. She is physically incapable of reproducing as a Homunculus, if she were gay this element isn’t unique to her existence, especially in a Medieval setting. Any gay woman would understand the pain of loving a Princess, her dying, and leaving no Heir behind. But their relationship *should* by virtue of their gender be able to supply Roderick with one and she can’t. It sort of invalidates her as a woman, which I think is horrible to think about, she’s no more than a sword, a body in a battalion, she can’t ever be a Mother of her own child and that’s horrible for her. That being said, I would more accurately describe her as Pansexual, Elaina’s backstory includes a competing romance between two of her adoptive siblings (in that italicised flashback it mentions a girl dying in her arms, that is her “Sister”, and a sword being impaled through her back and out of her chest, that is her “brother” whom she felt equal affection for) and the plot for the ensuing story is she learns Roderick has a long-lost sister sired by his Mother in secret and raised within another one of the Principalities that is aligned with Arianrhod. An important part of the story is their gradual development from protector and protected, to Master and Pupil, Equals, and then lovers. A Delightfully complicated situation that Elaina is forced to grapple with throughout the story.


Yes please! I know the means of adding has changed recently with the removal of the hashtag, but I’d be delighted if you did. It’s now “YuriKah” on Discord now, so you will have to search that to find me. We can finally let Crazr rest his weary head and retire from being our messenger boy, haha.

I'm not sure who that wise woman was, but she does make a poignant, if accurate point.



Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun. If there's any indication reading your creative entries has given me, it's that I imagine you must run a fantastic campaign. If it is an original one, I assume. But yes, the himbo archetype is one I currently find particularly endearing and out of the ordinary stoic loner. One thing I settled on in the story with the love element is that a genuine love did spark between the two, and one of the properties of a genuine love is that many faults must be accepted along with the whole person, if at all possible. Although I tease my boy Dib by calling him a himbo, lovingly, it's of course not his primary archetype. As his true name states, it is most certainly his growing dependence and clinginess to Lil. In an early phase of conceptualization of the story, I contemplated having Lil take full advantage of this from a strategic point of view and being the one to betray his love in the story, as that would match her character's ambitions. However, I reeled back from that full malicious intent for the sake of the greater story I wanted to tell, and settled on containing that within their first meeting in the cavern as she takes complete control of his life. And what does this ambitious cat do when she has her mouse quivering in her paw? Of course, she gives it a satisfying and playful kiss. This also reflects the early stages of their familiarity with each other, as he would play the cat in chasing her across the battlefield where she would attempt to outwit him. I had a lot of fun writing this dynamic of theirs, and there's a lot of places to take it that I honestly haven't decided quite yet, but I'll have even more fun imagining where would be best in the future.



Ah, fascinating! Thank you for going into depth and explaining. After the fact, I actually felt rather silly asking about it, as if it would be exceptionally difficult to imagine writing outside of one's personal preference. It is something I should think of doing in the future, honestly, if only to broaden my own sense of drafting a unique character as an individual. If I do so, perhaps next year, I hope I can do it justice.

Wow, I am actually very glad that you mentioned that really sad element to Elaina's layer of tragedy. I had picked up on the exchange between her and Gaspard where he mentions it directly, and cruelly, but I thought that she would not bear Roderick a child because she refused to, either because of their familiarity or because perhaps it was unheard of for a knight or commoner to mingle with nobility and it would be an unforgivable sin for their king to commit, even if he wanted to. But I suppose that was my assumption of the setting. I did also suspect there was the possibility she was barren and may have wanted to, but now that you've let me know it actually is by nature of her being a homunculus, that she is sterile by nature, that adds more context. And thank you for explaining that flashback. I put it out of mind quickly because it seemed like the reference was lacking context.

I find it difficult to grasp how ingrained the concept of the choice not to or inability for a woman to reproduce threatens her femininity. I think, in my mind, even if Elaina cannot bear children, if she is a woman or feels to be that she is a woman as well as a homunculus can feel themselves to be a woman, then that is simply what she is. I can see what you mean about this being an existential nightmare. If one's femininity is exclusive to their ability to reproduce as one, then that will inevitably cause her to suffer. But personally, I just can't imagine a woman that discovers that she is barren suddenly not being a woman just because she has lost that ability to have a child. I hope that one day in her story, though her memories of Roderick will never be lost, that she will be able to find contentment in who she is in her heart (even if she technically doesn't have one!)



Excellent! I will send you one momentarily. Our poor boy crazr. I looked forward to the possibility of reading something from him, but I understand he can get busy at the end of the year. Perhaps next year.

Thanks! I always find it a unique and fun challenge to try and align my stories to hit all of the themes, if at all possible.



I'm actually very thankful to hear this. I was especially worried that I was moving things way too fast, especially after the cavern scene, but as I would later realize, my word count was surpassing my previous two entries in the series for the contest, so it was rather necessary.



Haha, I appreciate the fighting game reference. I am really satisfied with how Amal came out. He serves as the Benvolio to this Romeo and Juliet. And then the Tybalt in his revelation as an antagonist, and then the Mercutio in poxing both sides of demons with the fallout of eliminating a leader and stealing away two high ranking members, and finally the Friar Lawrence at the end in supporting and mentoring the couple. From "first lieutenant" to "spy" to "soldier of heaven," he is a mysterious man that wears many masks in this play of star-crossed lovers.

Sorry about the end if it gets confusing, but the necropolis belongs to the one he calls the "Magus" near the end who summons all three of them to him. For a super hint at who the "Magus" is, it's in my previous Fantastic Paths entry from 2021, The Immortal Familial Bond.

I am very happy that you enjoyed the twists. I was genuinely concerned that a double-agent "friend" plot development would be too cliché and be seen coming a mile away, but I'm glad to see that wasn't the case.



Thank you for the intense compliments here, xnine! I really wanted their relationship to feel genuine, raw, and especially desperate. There were many conflicting elements that would make such a union an impossibility, but I really wanted to force the stars to align to bring them together. It might seem to begin with the visions that changed their programming as more single-minded soldiers, but I also made a special note at the beginning in Dib's opening for Lil that mention that the dreams only complicated things after his fate to love her had already been sealed. The purpose of this is to make it inarguable that their love is genuine and not an illusion fabricated by their dreams. The dreams only served as vehicles and driving forces to get them able and willing to take their chance for a better future, for continuing on their path would only lead them both to ruin in a spiral of death and defeat.

I could have gone more into their background and how Dib became a captain, how Bel raised Lil to be a worthy successor, but ultimately, does it really matter to the story? Every sentence needs to advance the plot. They have been fighting for eons and have countless stories and numerous scars to prove their capabilities. In the end, that's really all that needs to be said. Sometimes the lack of information better serves the story anyway in leaving things up for the reader to imagine themselves. That's something I'm thankful to have some to learn over time after a nasty habit of being excessively descriptive and verbose. And even then, I still tend to do that because it's come to be my natural literary voice. This does make me very happy to hear that it was the perfect amount for you. I am grateful to hear it. Thank you for the thoughtful comments and review. It helps make the participation worthwhile.