Thankful for...
That's easy. I'm thankful for...
Huh.
OK, no. Wait. I'm thankful for...
...
Fuck. No, that won't cover it all...
OK, I think I have something.
I guess, to lay it out, I'm thankful for everything. That might sound trite, perhaps cliche, but it's the truest way I can put it. I may take great pains to cultivate a bored, detached, and sarcastic persona online, but in the end, I figure I wouldn't really be much if I was some scattered atoms floating through space.
I'm thankful for the absurd planet, floating through the cold uncaring rigors of space and providing life to our civilization despite it. I'm thankful for our sun, burning so hotly millions of kilometers away that the otherwise deep freeze we occupy is warm enough for us to live on. I'm thankful for the people around me, without whose stupidity I wouldn't have an outlet for my snide sarcasm, and without whose brilliance I would be either dead or banging rocks together in a cave somewhere, trying to get warm. I'm thankful for the communities I've been a part of, online and offline. I'm thankful for the sense of camaraderie places like Fakku, Reddit, and even 4chan can offer to anyone, even a grade A sociopath like me. Essentially, I'm thankful for this whole glorious mess we call life, and I wouldn't want to miss any of it, for any reason.
And, now that I've admitted that, I must off and away again, lest someone I know read this and pour pink butterfly glitter all over my workstation.