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24 Things pertaining to being a Man

HentaiElder · 2009-07-23T14:54:31+00:00

Lol, this is something I came across and decided to share. I took some things off the list mainly because it was too long and I highly doubt anyone wants to spend time reading a list of things pertaining to being a man.. not unless they have nothing better to do. And, when it comes down to it.. there's always something much more productive than sitting and reading a random list. But again, this is something I came across and decided to share. Some are pretty funny. 1.) When stumbling upon other men watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing. 2.) Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 3.) If you’ve known a Man for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her. 4.) Moaning about the brand of free beer in a friend’s fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable. 5.) No Man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another Man. In fact, even remembering your friend’s birthday is strictly optional. 6.) On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. 7.) Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a “F**** OFF!” You are absolved of your of responsibility. 8.) Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked. 9.) Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed. 10.) If a Man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything. 11.) A Man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. 12.) Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both – that’s just mean. 13.) If you compliment a Man on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer. 14.) Never talk to a Man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. 15.) Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary. 16.) There is no reason for guys to watch Men’s Ice Skating or Men’s Gymnastics. Ever. 17.) When you are queried by a buddy’s wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence. 18.) You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call “BULLS**T!”. Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent. 19.) Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party. 20.) Before dating a buddy’s “ex”, you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it. 21.) A Man must never own a cat or like his girlfriends cat. (Haha, I can live with this one, easily) 22.) If a buddy is out-numbered, out-Manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, “What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin.”, then you may sit back and enjoy. 23.) If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him, too gay. 24.) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

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HentaiElder

15 years ago

PersonDude wrote...

Good shit to live by and I think I've only broken one rule in that list... (The cat one)

+1. BTW, truth does not make you sexist HE. :P

2.) Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

I found the above one hilarious. Lmao. Can you really bail someone out of jail in just 12 hours? I mean, if you have to pay all that money.

Anyway, thanks and thanks.

swordmanXIII wrote...

22.) If a buddy is out-numbered, out-Manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight.

Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, “What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin.”, then you may sit back and enjoy.

fuck yeah lol this is what uselly happens when my friends drink too much -_-

Lol I can relate. I hate drinking though, especially because of what could happen.

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