[Locked] FAKKU Café v3

I'm gonna try to go to Japan one of these days, and at the embassy they'll scan my passport, and be like "You're Jordan?"
"Yes."
"Is your online handle hobogunner?"
"Maybe...."
"Son, we cannot allow you to go to Japan with the U.S.'s reputation at risk from you."
"But.....why?"
"Well, we looked you up and did an FBI background check and the only thing that came up was the fact you like lolis and said you'd repopulate Japan with them."
"Well, yeah, I could if I could get there...."
"See, we can't let that happen, then the Japanese race would be skewed by your own."
"Is there a problem....oh....oh, you think liking lolis is carried down in genes....ohhh...."
"Well, yes, recent studies have shown...."
"Wait! You should let me go so I can verify that study! I'll be a labrat!"
"It doesn't work like that......"
"But, it should, just let me go, I promise I won't knock up a single loli."
"No. Go home before I arrest you."
The sad thing is that this would probably happen one day. . .