TheOverFlow wrote...
Gravity cat wrote...
TheOverFlow wrote...
Gravity cat wrote...
Well I met her at the pub. Got chatting to her, we had a laugh. She gave me her number and we kept in regular contact. Arranged a date, had a meal which went well.
We had a second date at a restaurant. I dropped her off home where she leaned in and...
[size=29]I STRANGLED HER UNTIL SHE WENT PURPLE, THEN RUBBED HER UP AND DOWN UNTIL SHE VOMITED FOR SOME REASON
THEN SHE WENT UNCONSCIOUS AND SHRIVELLED UP PRETTY DAMN FAST SO I BURIED THE BODY IN MY BOXERS.[/h]
Flawless execution. No one will know except her 3 year old son who now has been traumatized seeing his only mother turn into a human jerky and shoved down a mans pants right before his very eyes.
I hope you realise it was a metaphor for my penis
Uhh ... Did someone say cats?
A cat is fine too...
But in seriousness, I just use my fingers and occasionally this old vibrating toothbrush with a nice rounded tip at the handle.