I'm a devout christian and touching myself is bad and I'll go to hell. Only the local pastor is allowed to touch my pee pee but I'm not allowed to tell mummy because she will hate me for being more devout than her.
I masturbate normally about a handful times a month - though sometimes I go on a streak and will do it twice a day. It really depends on my hormones and how horny I am at even given time, and of course if the real thing is readily around if which so I forgo masturbation longer.