All i can offer is this song, sung to the music of My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean...
"My Bonnie has Tuberculosis.
My Bonnie has only one lung.
She spits up the blood in her hankie,
And dries it and chews it for gum.
Dentine, Dentine,
The best nickel gum you can buy
My Brother he chewed and now that he's chewed it
He's blind and he's missing one eye."
...and these...