Need Help! What do!

Most people who jokingly say ''I came on my screen'' can fathom little of the actuality and shame of the people who literally CAME on their screen.

Let me tell you my story

I was looking for furry porn once in the absent minded search engine of google, and when I found it, my ballsack began speaking to me
''QUICK, THAT FURRY.''
As my dear penis commanded me to fap, as I did. It felt amazing, my deepest most vile innermost intentions were focused on that poor furry animal. To penetrate it's defenseless asshole was all I had in thought, mind, and soul.

and when I did, I realized I came on my screen.
Now, it's just lying there, as a constant reminder of my shame. As if a tribute to the madness of my actions.
okay, so what do i do? I don't wanna touch my own cum, but it's drying up and making my screen blurry.

bump, really need help

There are no words to describe this situation.

Just how old are you? You've never gotten your stuff on your own hand before? Be glad you didn't shoot it with enough force to hit yourself in the face.

Give up. Unless you want to lick it off, that's all you really can do.

If pornstars can do it, so can you!
[size=29]:D[/h]
[size=5]Get a towel....[/h]

I'm disappointed in all of you, as none you scrubs can provide a valid solution to my dastardly situation.
This is a matter of extreme urgency as we all know, cum when dried becomes a massive annoyance, and may even stain depending on the concentration of sperm in the semen.
Dear forum members, please, help me.


I'd never point my own penis in my face while I fap. What kind of disgusting mongrel would dare risk his own seed getting on his hand, or face. I am a refined person. A person of extreme self-cleanliness, and the epitome of social elegance.

So, why again would I ever shoot my own cum on myself?

bump for help, please dear friends, this situation is getting out of my hand

Inb4 IB
Just grab a slightly wet tissue or something if you're that afraid of touching your own jizz.

Get a WET TOWEL!!!
are you really that slow?

Do not touch it. Burn the image in your head, to remember the act of shame you have just committed!

Or throw your monitor in the washing machine.
It will be cleaner than ever.

I won't risk a paper towel, because my dastardly cum has an extremely acidic stature. I just used took a PH test on it, with litmus paper and it rated a 1 on the scale. My god, my semen is actually potentially fatal, and it's drying up. What sort of volatile foods have I been eating, that gave my semen this corrosive property?

someone, for the love of god, TELL ME A RATIONAL SOLUTION

edit: WHAT THE FUCK. It's literally moving around now, like a raindrop across a window. I think it's taking some sort of shape.

............................................________
....................................,.-'"...................``~.,
.............................,.-"..................................."-.,
.........................,/...............................................":,
.....................,?......................................................,
.................../...........................................................,}
................./......................................................,:`^`..}
.............../...................................................,:"........./
..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../
............./__.(....."~-,_..............................,:`........../
.........../(_...."~,_........"~,_....................,:`........_/
..........{.._$;_......"=,_......."-,_.......,.-~-,},.~";/....}
...........((.....*~_......."=-._......";,,./`..../"............../
...,,,___.`~,......"~.,....................`.....}............../
............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-"
............/.`~,......`-...................................../
.............`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....,__
,,_..........}.>-._...................................|..............`=~-,
.....`=~-,__......`,.................................
...................`=~-,,.,...............................
................................`:,,...........................`..............__
.....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==``
........................................_..........._,-%.......`
...................................,

Kill yourself.

OH MY GOD. THIS THING, NO MONSTER IS TAKING SHAPE. MY OWN SEED IS TAKING A FORM. THIS IS BEYOND LUDICROUS, ONLY THE HEAVENS THEMSELVES COULD UNDERSTAND THE GRAVITY OF THIS UNPRECEDENTED EVENT

Even as a I type now, my semen quickly expanding, and creating it's own mass? Jesus Christ! It's growing, as if consuming itself, and gaining even more volume.
SOMEONE HELP!

holy shit, what do I do? this is so scary.
My semen is already having globular features, which to my own reasoning, it's absorbing protein and bacteria across my table. I've successfully removed my laptop away from the forsaken beast, but I don't know what to do. It's like a hideous creation only Satan himself would even picture.

Should I call the police? No, I'd be too embarrassed... WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT. IT JUST FUCKING CONSUMED MY SNACK BAR. OH MY GOD, IT'S JUST ABSORBING AND EXPANDING. What should I do? Should I attempt to burn it? I don't think living semen is flammable.

Isn't "living semen" a baby?

Can we ban him? He's obviously underage.