Nobyl for Moderator

I am officially announcing my candidacy in the race to become moderator. Fakku! needs a new moderator and unlike Longevity, I can bring a fresh and new personality to the forum. Sources I cannot reveal tell me that Longevity is a Communist Jewish Islamic Muslim Christian-hating pedophile gaybay and he likes Justin Bieber. I've even heard that once he gets elected Moderator, he plans to force Jacob into putting an auto-play YouTube embed of Justin Bieber's songs on every page! While I can't say I wouldn't enjoy the mass amounts of rage that would ensue, someone must put a stop to his madness. Remember oh wonderful brothers and sisters, if you vote for Longevity your voting against everything you've come to know and love at Fakku! Don't be swayed or fooled by his charisma and dashing good looks, he is clearly the next anti-christ and only strives to lead you astray on a path to abstinence. You don't really want to be moderated by someone like that do you?

Now, you might ask yourself,

"But Nobyl, why should I put my vote in for some random newfag?"

Well if the above wasn't enough maybe this change your mind hm? You see, I hold the element of excitement and the unknown, you don't know what kind of person I am, what kind of rule I might hold over the forums... In many ways I am like the fabled mystery box, and no one can refuse the allure of the amazing and mysteriously mysterious mystery box.


But that's not all, following my appointment of moderator I plan to reduce taxes for the common man, raise them for the rich and increase spending on education & healthcare. I will also use Jacob's hard earned money to buy every brother and sister their own concubine, even if it means that he'll have to take up a side-job as a male prostitute.

So what will it be Fakku!, do you want a Communist Jewish Islamic Muslim Christian-hating pedophile gaybay Bieber lover as a moderator? Or do you want the mystery box? The choice is yours.

You have my axe.

What the...

didn't read

wouldn't vote for

I'll vote for you because you used the word gaybay.

But you don't know what a gaybay is

Question.

Can I fuck the mystery box?

For real?

I don't care it sounds fucking hilarious.

tl;dr

http:/puu.sh/3oxP0.gif

Anything is a possibility with the mystery box.

Their is a gaggle of people more worthy then you.

You know what...I think I'll pass.

Not going to vote.

Lets just make everyone whose ever posted in IB a Mod.

Who the fuck are you?

It's common courtesy to introduce yourself first.

I'll vote for you, given that you suck my dick. Or anything sexually similar.