You're adopted and we never loved you.
Your hamster died. I killed it. That wasn't lamb in the meat pie we had for breakfast.
You have every cancer known to man. The only reason you're alive is because each one is cancelling each other out. Don't catch a cold. Seriously, sneezing'll kill you.
Your room was painted with asbestos-based paint. Don't
ever cough, you'll suffocate with all the asbestos in your lungs.
We spiked your drink last week. We took and sold one of your kidneys.
We're kicking you out - take 3 of your favourite things and fuck off. But before you go, something you should know; we took out a loan with loansharks under your name. You're 3 months overdue for repayments. Have fun with that.
USA-san
You're a fucking weeb.