Nana might be the only I person I could call a friend.
But well, it's just natural, given that she was the first one I ever met. In the first place, because I had built a massive wall between me and the other people, while I had many acquaintances, I never had any friends. That also means that a long time ago, Nana too wasn't more than an acquaintance to me. She managed to break my wall in a somewhat petty episode. Nana and me are colleagues, and also, since we started practicing Therapy around the same time, she also is around my age. Because of that, Ms. Lahr always looked out for us, and always treated us as if we were sisters. If I had to see it from Ms. Lahr's position, both Nana and me were the origin of the income that allowed her to eat, and because of that, I think she really wanted me and Nana to become good friends. But the only thing I noticed from my own position is that Nana was pretty lousy at the Dives, because somehow I got the feeling that she didn't have any sense of decency around boys, which gradually seemed to be making it impossible for us to become friends. We weren't even able of talking honestly to each other because the Therapists considered each other only as business rivals. But despite these social conditions, both Nana and me began counseling each other before we noticed, we began knowing each other better, and our relationship finally reached the point in which we were encouraging each other. Then, we started doing girlish things together. We went many times to do window shopping and try out clothes, and we even said things such as "I want these red shoes" at time we went looking at the shoes. These were very fun days.
But, they didn't last for too much time. At a certain time, a request for a certain difficult kind of Therapy was addressed to me, and it said that it would require a Proxy Dive to be performed. This is a skill that is said to be extremely difficult to pull off within our business. Though I was very uneasy about it, while I was working at night with Nana, I challenged myself to study about how to perform a Proxy. And then, the appointed day came. I performed it as effectively as I could, and the Proxy Dive ended in success. That day, both Nana and myself were rejoiced for the success.
The story about my success then spread throughout all our business, and I ended joining to a group of Charismatic Therapists. Ms. Lahr also was overjoyed, as if I had opened a market for her or something. But, from that time on, I began to be worried about something. Nana began acting as if she was in other place or something. Of course, we still talked normally as colleagues, but she didn't want to study anymore about Therapy with me. And furthermore, it seemed that she was asking Ms. Lahr about something. It was an small shock to me that I was thinking about someone else instead of myself, and from that time onwards, I occasionally failed when performing Therapy. However, these failures somehow left me feeling good, but that wasn't something that could continue happening. For my own life, I didn't have more choice than to keep climbing up to higher and better heights...
But later on, I began thinking that it was typical that Nana was the cause of it, and that was okay. But she wasn't a Charismatic Therapist too... These two conflicting emotions began revolving within me, and I wasn't able anymore to decide what I'd do. I isolated myself My only confidant was Nana, and I was worried because I couldn't settle this down. And at certain point, I got ill, and
had to stay in the bed for the day.
And at that precise time, it had to happen. The event that was like a deathblow to me. Somehow, I had heard a conversation, and it was about Nana failing at a Proxy Dive, and being left unable to return to the real world! I didn't let the heaviness of my body stop me, and went to the Dive Shop as fast as I could. I rushed in, and there, I saw that the customer for which Nana performed the Proxy had already returned to reality. However, she didn't regain consciousness. Why this had to happen...? Anyway, I wished to help Nana from the bottom of my heart, and fully aware of the risks, I Dove into Nana. Nana was on the very verge of getting her mind and body Jacked Off (permanently disconnected)... And when I finally thought I had found Nana, her vitality was being sapped, and she didn't have much time left.
"Nana!! Nana, please hang on!!"
"...Luca... ahahaha.... so you have seen it, huh? I look so badly..."
"This isn't the moment for saying that! Why did you try doing so rash!?"
"Rash... oh, the Proxy Dive... it was because you did that one yourself... or maybe because you wanted to tell me that I didn't have yet the ability needed for it..."
"T-that isn't it!"
"No, it's okay... because it's true... and since it's true, it was impossible for me. It's so unfair that I can't, that I should be a human..."
"Of course not! If you continue trying the best you can..."
"You say it so easily because you don't even think if you're able of doing it or not. You don't know the feelings of the people. And I don't want a person that only has fun in the work and doesn't know what troubles are to tell me that!"
"Uh... but that's... because I..."
"...?"
I might have been because I was in a very bad shape. I was being unable to convey my feelings correctly. I had to collect all of the painful experiences I went through my life to reach the appropriate amount I had to convey to her.
"Because I also have suffered more than what you think!!"
"Huh!?"
"Just because I don't show my problems, that doesn't mean that I don't have any! I was always worried about you, because you seemed to be always in other place... I was always so worried about you... I though it'd be okay to leave the Charismatic Therapists only if you were the one to take that title away from me..."
"That... doesn't mean that you thought it..."
"No... I really thought that. If I became a Charismatic Therapist, my wages would increase... and I'd be finally able to say goodbye to poverty... but that didn't make me stop worrying. But it was because other reason: if you left me alone, I wouldn't know what to do anymore.... that's why I wanted to continued being with you... so please... let's go back..."
"...These are only words. If I was to be saved, that wasn't no more than a one-sided way..."
I was getting worse, and wouldn't be able to keep myself in the Dive for much longer. I thought it a that moment. However, my consciousness grew so hazy that I don't know what more I could have said.... but I couldn't continue being stand up...
"Luca...? Hey, Luca? You... have such a high fever... what happened to you!?"
"I-I'm sorry.... I'm okay... it's nothing..."
"It's nothing...!? You have such a high fever! You shouldn't Dive while you are sick!! Why you did something so dangerous!?"
"Because... because..."
"I like being with you..."
"Huh!?"
"I don't like being alone... and I don't want to be alone anymore... so please... let's go back together..."
"Luca... you... you went through so much danger, just for me..."
"Please... let's go back... together..."
"Luca..."
"O-ok... if you insist so much... I thought I'd die here, in peace... but since you have brought me in your way against my will, I won't let myself die to respect your feelings!"
"...E... hehe..."
"Don't begin "Ehehe"-ing me now. Stupid... If you're as weakened, and I can't bring you back with me, you won't be able to go back by yourself. You're beyond reckless, huh...?"
And thus, Nana was returned safely to the real world. But it was decided that she needed some rest, so she was hospitalized. As for me, my condition got so worse after that, that it was a complete mess to send me to the hospital... which, oh dear, meant that all the earnings I got recently disappeared into hospital bills... but at least it allowed me to save Nana, which I think was a good result. And that is because there is some more to this story.
After that, both me and Nana became even better friends than what we were before. And also, Nana, in way of having me her thanks and apologies, went and bought the red shoes she knew I wanted so much. Yeah, these are the same shoes I'm still wearing today... and she bought me them with the money she had worked so hard to earn, which makes them a treasure packed with her feelings. These shoes are for me very special and precious things.Now that I think that, that was the very first time I actually talked honestly to other person. And also, what showed me the hardness of honestly being concerned by other person, and at the same time, the joy of knowing someone deeply. I thought that it'd be fun if we could make friends with many people in such a way... and while I haven't been able to make many friends with these feelings, there's no mistake that it also was what allowed my to deepen my relationships with Skycat, Lady Cloche, and other people. And now, Nana is my best friend.
Nana, I hope we can always continue being friends!