Ah, thank you, FOG.
Remi for next month? Hmm...I thought it was flan? I just told by someone at other place.
Also, UNOS (。ಠ†¿†¿à² 。)
And some "LONG" story for lulz or well...blame no spoiler feature here.
For their anniversary, a man bought his beautiful wife a diamond broach. Not expecting such an expensive and well-thought-out gift from her charming but often times muddle-headed husband, the wife decides to set up a wild romantic night for just the two of them, telling her husband only that there would be an “extra special surprise” for him when he got home that evening.
She goes out to an adult novelty store, and picks up among other things a dozen special lavender-scented candles for the occasion.
Now, what the wife did not realize was that in the store at the time was a slightly irate, and perhaps mildly deranged young woman who had recently suspected her boyfriend of cheating on her. The only clue she had to who her boyfriend had been sleeping with, was that he had come home smelling like the lavender-scented candles coincidentally sold only in this particular store, and which the unsuspecting wife had just purchased a bunch of. Noticing this purchase, the young lady begins to tail the wife back.
Meanwhile, when the wife had left her house, she did not realize she had been seen leaving by a fairly attractive female cat-burglar, who had been sighting the neighborhood for potential targets. Seeing that the house was now unoccupied for at least a little while, the cat-burglar attempts to break into the home. She makes her way into the bedroom, when she sees on the night stand the diamond broach the wife had gotten as an anniversary gift. The burglar is about to swipe it and leave, when she suddenly hears the wife pulling back into the driveway. The bedroom was on the second floor, while the burglar had entered in through a window she had pried open in the kitchen. Knowing she can not to back out the same way she had come in, the cat burglar sees a crawlspace door on the ceiling of the bedroom closet. Not having time to find a better hiding spot, she rushes to the closet, literally jumps through the ceiling door, and manages to get it back in place just before the wife enters into the bedroom, completely oblivious to what just happened.
The wife, quickly changing and setting up the bedroom, lighting candles, putting on her best neglige, setting a romantic soundtrack playing, the whole twelve yards.
Outside the jealous and woefully misguided young woman from back at the adult novelty store has somehow climbed up to the second story bedroom window, and through a small space between the curtains, is able to see what the housewife is doing. Seeing the older woman setting up the candles and prancing around in an “almost-nothing”, the young woman wrongfully assumes it is for her cheating boyfriend, and vows that TWO can play at this game.
Up above, the cat-burglar has been attempting to silently move along the beams in the ceiling’s crawl space, specifically beams that were not really meant for human being to move across, in hopes of escaping through another part of the house undetected. However, her blouse, along with the bra-strap underneath it, have gotten caught on a loose jagged nail in one of the roof beams. Although she really needed two hands to properly balance in this state, she could not get the nail to unhook on its own, and would need to use her hands to unhook it from the beam.
At this time, by complete coincidence, the husband finally returned home, eager to find out what his wife’s “special surprise” would be. When he reached the bedroom, his jaw nearly hit the floor with amazement, as he saw his wife dressed more provocatively than even on their wedding day.
At the same time the wife got up to go to bring her stunned husband to the bed, the jealous young woman, now naked as a jay bird, kicked in the thankfully shatter-proof bedroom window, giving a Tarzan-like yell as she barged in!
This was enough to startle the cat burglar up above, who lost her balance completely, and had her blouse & bra torn completely off, as she fell butt first onto the bed.
Upon seeing two more naked women suddenly appearing in the bedroom, the husband actually broke into tears.
“DAMNIT WOMAN! I ONLY HAVE ONE PENIS!!!”